What NOT to say to a [female] children's pastor!

1. You’re already a mother to all the kids in the church! No, I’m not. My job is not to parent the kids; it is to partner with the adults as THEY parent their kids. Do not ask me to lay a spiritual foundation for your child in an hour and a half on Sundays. It’s just not possible. And while we’re on the topic…

2. Do you work with kids because you’re unable to have your own? What kind of insensitive question is that? No one in my current church has asked me this question, or I probably would not be fuming about it on a public blog, but my husband has been asked this before [He wouldn't tell me who had asked him, because he knew I would confront them on it, right then and there. Now he just doesn't remember...] But seriously – what if that were true? Either way, that question is entering into very personal territory…

3. This is the lady who takes care of the kids on Sundays. I guess, technically that’s true. Sort of. I mean, my leaders and I are responsible for the well-being of any children who attend kids’ church. But to phrase it that way makes it sound like we’re operating a daycare center upstairs. Perhaps you have experienced kids’ church services that are little more than glorified babysitting – but most of the children’s pastors/leaders that I know are committed to creating a worship experience for kids at their level, guiding them to meet with God, fellowship with other believers, and hear and learn the Word of God – just like their parents are doing in the adult service.

4. I’ve already done my time [in kids' church/nursery/preschool]…Reaching kids for Jesus is not a prison sentence!! I am not just saying this because I am “called” to be a children’s pastor – I may not be a full time children’s pastor for the rest of my life. I do not have any idea what God has planned for the rest of my life. But it’s not about “doing your time.” It’s about serving the needs of your church. It’s about doing your part to change the lives of the kids and families around you. My mom came to Jesus at age 11 through a Vacation Bible School at a local church. The reason she even knew about it was because she was invited by one of her neighbors, an elderly woman whose kids were long grown and out of the house, whose responsibility for the week of VBS was providing the cookies for snack time. She stepped over to the messy, dysfunctional, alcholic, extremely unhappy [on the brink of divorce!] family next door and invited two little girls to come to a program at her church. My mom became a Christian on the last day of VBS that week. So did my great-uncle [who is the same age as my mom...yeah, my grandma and great-grandma had a little Duggar thing going on, lol!!]. My grandparents and great-grandparents ended up giving their lives to Christ as well. There is a very good chance that, if that elderly woman who made the cookies had had the attitude that “I’ve put in my time” when it came to ministering to kids, I would not be sitting in my office…at a church…typing this blog and getting ready for two services on Sunday morning. “Always be ready” is for everybody!!!!

5. You’re so awesome…amazing…talented…whatever…maybe you’ll be a real pastor someday! I already am a real pastor. I have the biggest mission field, considering most people who accept Christ do so before they turn 13 years old. I have the greatest number of conversions in my services [granted, some of those are six year-olds accepting Christ for the 15th time that month, but I know that one of those times is going to be THE time. I do not discourage kids from repeatedly raising their hands for salvation, because I do not want to stand before God someday and find out that the day I told him/her to sit down because they just came forward last week was the day that it finally "clicked" for them. Yikes!]. I am not just biding my time, having “pretend church” and using children as guinea pigs to practice on until I get to do the real thing. This is as real as it gets, people.

6. Well, I guess it’s okay for you to be a pastor, since you “just” minister to kids. Or because the senior pastor is a man, and you are in submission to his authority. You see where I’m going with this…first of all, never say “just” minister to kids. Jesus made it very clear that God finds kids pretty important. Second of all, I am subject to my senior pastor because he is my employer and because I respect him as the man of God that has been placed in the church that I serve in. I do not “submit” to him in the same way that I submit to my husband. The Bible does not say “all women are to submit to all men.” It says “wives, submit to your husbands.” The only woman in our church who should be at this level of submisson to my pastor is his wife! Third of all, hold onto your hats, people – because I am preaching in “big church” on the Sunday after Christmas while my pastor is out of town. Yup. I do preach to adults from time to time.

and finally…

7. I couldn’t do it as well as you can!! My job is to “work myself out of a job.” Not that I’m going anywhere, but I believe in motivating and equipping my leaders to be able to do what I do. Because I would like to take a vacation sometime ). Since I am a human being, I get sick from time to time. This Sunday, due to extreme illnesses among my preschool teachers, I will most likely be teaching preschool [at least during the 9:00 service!], and my wonderful husband will preach to the older kids. See what I mean? No man or woman is an island. I do not want to be this awesome specimen of pastor-hood who is placed on a pedestal and people are afraid to even step in and try. I want to do what I do to the best of my ability, but that does not mean there’s no room on the pedestal for ALL who would join me in this adventure.

I invite anyone reading this to share some things NOT to say to someone in your profession…senior pastor…accountant…stay-at-home mom…whatever!!! Enjoy!