Pastoring Partners Network

Mine! or Is It?

2012-03-28T18:18:00.006-07:00

“MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!” yelled *Suzy, as she took back her toys from her older brother.

This was the scene that took place in the pew in front of me during our morning worship service. I just smiled to myself as the scene unfolded because before Suzy had even noticed her toys had been moved, I saw the mischievous smile on her brother’s face. I watched as their mother took over and brought peace to the situation. As I continued to worship the Lord began to talk to me….

“How many times have I heard that from you?” asked the Lord.

As I pondered the question, I began to realize it was more often than I cared to admit.

“How many times have you begged me to do something with you or for you and you have held on tight to the one thing I asked you to sacrifice?” asked the Lord.

Ouch! OK yes I have held tight and said, “Mine!”

…I continued to ponder these questions for a few days and this is what I realized, if I trust in His plan for me (or insert your ministry) then I have to let go and say, “Yours Lord!” Only then can He do what I have asked Him to do. Yes he can do all things and He could just TAKE IT from us but that is not how I have seen Him move in my life or in other people's lives.

Our God is a God that wants our sacrifice, obedience, service and He is a gentleman and will wait on us. Today I want to encourage you to Let GO! Whatever it is that you are holding on to; whether it be a physical item, a ministry position, bitterness, anger, or hurt of any kind (if you have been in ministry for any length of time you more than likely have been hurt), or even your life plan/dream…God wants to replace it with something else and it is going to be much better than what you are holding on to! His plans are always for good and not for harm! (Jer 29:11)

I have to admit, I have been struggling with letting go of some things. For me, things have changed drastically and I am just coming to grips with this and it hasn’t been easy. I’m trusting Him to replace those plans with His plans and I know they are going to be way better than mine ever were. I also know I am not the only one out here dealing with this!

It may not pertain to your own life, maybe it pertains to your ministry or an aspect of your ministry. If you are holding to a ministry that is going nowhere maybe it’s time to release it into someone else’s hands and leadership. It could be that for that ministry to flourish it needs someone else’s talents. Or maybe you are holding on to it because you think you have to, to make sure that it gets done right. It may be that way because there is no one else that is trustworthy or responsible enough to handle the position but in many cases it’s because you just don’t want to let go. You may never know what He has for you to do outside of this position if you don’t.

Blessings!

*Name has been change to protect the child and family.

Pastors' Wives, Stop Apologizing!

2012-02-27T08:07:00.000-08:00

"Please forgive me if I sound unhappy. I know I just said all this but please know, I love the ministry, I love our church, I love our people, I am soooooooo blessed to serve the Lord. Any sacrifice is worth it. It is such a privilege to serve in the ministry."

Pastors' wives say things like this a lot after they've just unloaded to another pastor's wife. We always seem to tag on the apology just in case someone thinks we don't love our church, our people or serving the Lord.

We crave sharing with kindred souls what we can only entrust to those in vocational ministry who understand, yet we feel a pang of guilt once we've opened up -- like we're a bad spiritual Mom for doing so.

When Moms get together at a local MOPS meeting and talk about the challenges they face with their preschoolers, do they tag apologies on to the end of everything they say, in fear that someone will think they are bad mothers?

When mothers of teenagers talk to a guidance counselor about challenges they have with their kids, do they apologize for sharing and say that they hope they don't think they are terrible moms for seeking help?

When mothers take a break and have a "Moms day out" away from their children are they characterized as uncaring?

We pastors' wives apparently fear that somebody is going to think we're a bad spiritual Mom if we don't tag the ever-present apology on the end of our conversations with others in the ministry. I even notice this in blog and facebook comments whenever posts are about challenges in ministry. People have to tag on a, "but I wouldn't trade being a pastor's wife for anything!" or "don't get me wrong, I sure do love our people!"

Why do we feel the need to convince people so much?

Nobody who really has their head on straight in ministry is going to think you're a bad spiritual mom because you:

Need help with your spiritual kids
Need a break from your spiritual kids
Are feeling pressured with the demands of spiritual parenting and need encouragement, wisdom and motivation.

There are a tremendous amount of resources to meet the needs of natural parents - things like Focus on the Family. Nobody thinks it odd or unspiritual that parents go there in droves for encouragement to stay the course and do the right thing in parenting. Can you picture someone going to a bookstore and purchasing The Strong Willed Child or Dare to Discipline and saying to the cashier, "I'm ordering this but pleaaaaase know that I love my kid. I don't want to give them up! I'm soooo blessed to have them. Please, please, please know that!" Um...no. We'd think that was really unnecessary and kind of weird.

I propose that we relax. There is no condemnation here. Those of us who are seasoned understand completely the need for a time out. We understand that needing to talk doesn't mean you don't love those you've been entrusted with.

The discussion forum is open 24/7 here at PPN, and there is no need to apologize to us or work overtime to convince us about how happy you are despite the fact that right now you really, really need a listening ear and some encouragement.

Relax. We understand.

Things I've learned on the journey of letting go

2012-02-19T13:43:00.000-08:00

Lately in my conversations with pastors' wives I've noticed a lot of frustration over the things we can't control. I understand. This ever present exercise in futility is one of my main struggles. It brings no fruit yet I find myself getting sucked right back in trying to change things, people and situations I have no ability to change! Round and round we go...

I am on a new quest of letting things go -- really letting them go. Never to pick them up again.

It sounds easier than it is.

I recently discovered something published by Pastoral Counseling of Northern Virginia that really spoke to me in this journey I'm on of letting go. It's called the Signs and Symptoms of Inner Peace.

Some signs and symptoms of inner peace:
1. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past
experience.
2. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
3. A loss of interest in judging other people.
4. A loss of interest in judging self.
5. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
6. A loss of interest in conflict.
7. A loss in the ability to worry.
8. Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
9. Contented feelings of connections with others and nature.
10. Frequent attacks of smiling.
11. An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
12. An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the
uncontrollable urge to extend it.

It seemed uncaring when I first began this journey a few months ago. To just...let go? To release all hold on an outcome? To try to do nothing about certain things and just let them be? Total change for me. But now I'm seeing the evidence that letting go was what I needed to move forward.

Maybe it's what you need to move forward too.

Let go.

And if you need some help in doing that, always remember that the women on our Pastoring Partners Message boards are here to listen, to care, to talk whenever you need us. It's scary sometimes to let go, and as funny as it sounds...we'll hold your hand, while you let go. :)

How's Your Muffler?

2012-02-12T10:34:00.000-08:00

Last week we had some work done on our car. The tail pipe was knocked loose and fell off. It’s a relatively simple fix so off to the mechanic my husband went. Unknown to us the car was not only missing the tail pipe but everything from the catalytic converter. In other words, four pieces that are important to the exhaust system of our car. Normally you could hear the car coming down the road even when we thought the tail pipe was connected. When he came through the front door I was in shock. There was no sound or warning that he was coming home. I was even more shocked at how super quiet the car is driving and how much better it drives now. It’s absolutely wonderful!

All week I have thought about the change that the new exhaust system (let’s just call it the muffler) has affected our car and me. You see one of the main jobs that a muffler has is to “muffle” the noise from the engine as it dispels the waist of the engine as well. Isn’t that exactly what prayer does for us? Prayer is a muffler. When we pray we lay before our Lord our concerns and needs. Scripture tells us:

"Be still and KNOW that I AM GOD!" (Ps 46:10)

Prayer acts like a muffler when we lay our burdens down and put our focus on God. Prayer helps “muffle” the noise in our spirits and helps quiet our souls. When our spirit is quieted we function a lot better. How is your prayer life. I am talking about personal prayer time. Where you are having a conversation with the Lord about YOURSELF, no one else being mentioned in your prayers. The Lord wants us to come to Him, rely on Him at all times. What kind of noise are you dealing with? Why not put your muffler into action and quiet that noise!? When in ministry it is so easy to get caught up in praying for others that we forget to just talk with the Lord about ourselves. He wants to hear from us, about us too. I have to be honest there have been times that I have been so caught up in praying for others that I put aside the need to just talk to my Heavenly Father on my behalf. I am sure you have too.

"Be still and KNOW that I AM GOD!" (Ps 46:10) Sometimes that isn't always easy, being still that is. But when we take our focus off of the thoughts flying through our heads or the situations we may be facing and solely focus on our Lord the "peace that passes all understanding" (Phil. 4:7) will come and help us be still and quiet before Him.

Who can a pastor's wife talk to?

2012-02-05T17:27:00.000-08:00

Do you ever get a friend outside the church and and then share so much with them all at once that you overwhelm or even scare them away?

Recently I was talking to a pastor's wife friend I'll call Julie (not her real name) who articulated this so well I thought I'd share what she shared with me here on a PPN post. I am doing so with her permission.

Julie and I were talking about the issue of who a pastor's wife can safely confide in, and the need to have someone to share with. I've found that most pastors' wives crave a safe place in addition to God and their husband, where they can share what's going on in their lives, including what they are dealing with in the church. Many pastors' wives who have craved a release in this regard have experienced pain when they shared with a church member. Instead of finding the solace their soul longs for, they actually compounded their problems by sharing. This is one of the most painful things a pastor's wife can go through.

Pastors' wives are often encouraged to find someone outside the church, a believer who is unconnected with our particular church, to fill this role in our lives. Sometimes this person is easy to find when you start looking for them, other times not so much depending on the situation.

I find an effective relationship like this to be rare in the lives of most pastor's wives. I have wondered why and recently in my talk with Julie she explained it perfectly. Searching for such a person, she joined a local MOPS group. The friend she found was not a pastor's wife nor a part of her denomination but she was a strong believer with another fellowship. They became fast friends and, having developed trust, Julie spilled out everything that she was going through in the church. Stress and so many emotions had been mounting up with the issues in the pastorate and she needed a place to release them all. She had been doing so with her husband and in prayer, but she longed for another woman to talk to. One day it all came tumbling out to her MOPS friend...the whole kit and kaboodle of drama she was facing at the church. While the friend was compassionate, she was also overwhelmed, and started backing away.

Julie's friend lacked the measure of grace needed to handle the weight of situations that she had shared with her. She was shocked, overwhelmed, even stunned by everything that Julie shared. Never before had she been exposed to this level of an inside view of church and ministry and it was just too much for her to handle once she realized the scope of what Julie was dealing with.

After experiencing this I asked Julie, "what did you learn?" She said, "that only another pastor's wife can really understand the weight." The truth is that pastoral ministry defies explanation to those outside of it.

By this post I'm by no means saying that it will never work to have a friend who is not a pastor's wife to disclose these type of things to. Some of you reading might have such a relationship that's working great. And that's awesome! What I am saying is that by all indications it appears that a person who can handle it is rare. Many times we think all we need is to find someone who doesn't attend our church. The fact is, even if they are outside the church they still may not have the grace to handle what you're about to tell them. What's the point of this post? Proceed cautiously, and consider concentrating your efforts on finding other pastors' wives or former pastors' wives to discuss church issues with.

God gives pastors and their wives a very special grace to handle the weight of the ministry. Chances are there is another pastor's wife in your vicinity that is craving the same release you are. Pray about who God might lead you to. Don't be fooled by someone who seems to have a strong exterior and assume they wouldn't appreciate having someone to talk to. Also keep in mind retired pastors' wives, who are a rich source of wisdom. Many of these ladies are honored to connect with younger pastors' wives and are just waiting to be approached.

With that said, excuse me while I answer an e-mail from a pastor's wife friend who needs to let go of a weight with someone who can safely hold it.

This Light Affliction

2012-02-03T08:47:00.000-08:00

Ladies, I wanted to share this post with you from a few years ago, and then follow up at the end with the changes.....

Light Affliction

Sitting in my car (seems like God talks a lot to me while in the car) at a stop light. I tapped my fingers restlessly while looking at other people in their vehicles. Thoughts of the past few months whipped in my head. Let's see, we've had four buyers for our house, all of whom have walked away. We have had the house on the market over a year trying to do short-sells. My husband has applied to so many jobs and is constantly rejected over and over, and now we have one month to move out and find a rental home. On and on the thoughts had processed into my mind as I waited and waited at the red light. Why on earth was everything a constant wait, or rejection? That's when God spoke to my heart.

"Jessica, what are you doing?"

"Waiting at a red stop-light."

"Why are you waiting?"

"Because the light is red."

"Jessica, what would happen to you right now if you were to run that light while it's red?"

Glancing up I notice a large semi-truck zoom through the intersection.

"I would have been hit and killed by that truck."

"Jessica, right now you have a destination in mind, and its painful to have to wait. Right now you are at a stop-light not just waiting, but I am protecting you. If you were to run ahead of me, you would be seriously injured. I am protecting you from something far greater than you understand right now."

"Wow, Father, I never thought of that before."

"And Jessica how long do you have to wait at a stop-sign?"

"Not very long."

"But for a moment."

Armed with new revelation, as I went to church last night to work with our college and career students, my husband delivered a powerful message called, "Hanging By a Comma". Needless to say it came out his broken spirit and humble attitude. One of the verses he shared was:

2 Corinthians 4:17 (New King James Version)

17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.

Oh my! God kept speaking...and He has a sense of humor too. For our LIGHT AFFLICTION, which is BUT FOR A MOMENT, is WORKING FOR US a FAR MORE EXCEEDING and eternal weight of glory.

Really, How awesome is God? Although we may desire to be where we know we should be know, until our character and maturity match or vision, we cannot hold it's weight. Being processed in the waiting periods of our lives is necessary to bear the weight of our destination.

Yes, we may not understand this issue with the house and finances, or why everything we have knocked on has come to say no. But for a moment.......

Blessings,

AS OF TODAY:

2010: Our house was taken over by the bank, we filed bankruptcy, sold all our furniture, turned our cars over to the dealership.

2011: Moved into a small duplex, have an awesome Christian landlord, bought a truck with cash. Hubby got a job at the university I work for, then they gave us a van.

2012: Out of debt! Saving! Excited about the future!!!

Its time to listen to God, move forward into your calling, and ask Him what he is teaching you and showing you for your NOW season. Back then I did not understand the process, but now I see how it grew us up, taught us how to depend and trust in God in all seasons, drew us closer together, etc. Those tough seasons seem to last forever, yet it is just for a moment.

Blessings,

The importance of properly vetting an armor bearer

2012-01-12T14:30:00.000-08:00

You saw another pastor or pastor's wife with an armor bearer and became convinced you needed one asap. When you see it working with another leader like it's supposed to, it's so appealing. Really, when it's operating correctly, who wouldn't want this arrangement?

You think of everyone surrounding you who might be suitable for this role, then you select a person and get them in place as soon as possible. You might have even jumped at the chance when someone walked into your church and said, "I just want to share with you that my calling is that of an armor bearer." That was music to your ears, and you thought, "oh my gosh, I can't believe this!! It's just what I've been praying for! God is so good!" You probably even told people that the answer to your prayers had come.

The problem is, they weren't properly vetted. You just saw the load that having an armor bearer lifted from a colleague and you thought, "I need this...immediately." And you pushed forward full steam ahead.

Trust me when I say, and this is no exaggeration, that you need to make sure your armor bearer is vetted more than the candidates for president of the United States. (Isn't kingdom business as important?)

So they aren't tested properly. In time things go awry. It's painful. If you do have the courage to share with other pastors or pastor's wives who have been through it, they give you the advice, "if this doesn't kill you it will make you stronger." They don't have any words to share that make the pain go away fast, but at least you know you're not alone.

It's a scenario repeated countless times by more leaders than even publicly talk about it. The situations are so excruciating some don't even speak of it. They just suffer in silence and swear to God they'll never be in the same position again.

I don't speak of this from some high and lofty place of expertise. I speak as a person who is still alive and stronger for it.

I've also been around long enough to know that sometimes someone is vetted properly and it still goes south! There are no guarantees.

Here's the bottom line...you do need prayer coverage. You need it now. That can't wait. But you can survive without an armor bearer, until one has been fully proven. It is not a requirement to have one, but it is a blessing.

One of the main things about a true intercessor is that if they're real they don't need to know all the details. They can pray without knowing everything, and do it quite effectively. They also don't have to be physically with you to do that. (Meaning, they don't have to be someone in your church.)

Prayer warriors are easier to find than armor bearers. Find an intercessor first. Let an armor bearer come later. Test the intercessor(s) as well. If you find that they are pressing on you for details, you know they aren't one to be entrusted. If someone is really in tune with God and a prayer warrior, "details" are never the important thing to them. They can pray in the spirit and cover it all! (Be very wary of a person who says, "I just need you to tell me more details of what's going on behind the scenes so I can pray for you more effectively." That's a BIG red flag!)

Ask your intercessor(s) to pray for wisdom and discernment. This is a general request but will cover you as you pray about who might be suitable for the role of armor bearer in the future.

Once you feel led of the spirit as to who God might have for you in this role, do a lot of training in the beginning as far as having them read the books Armor Bearer I and II by Terry Nance and In the Spirit of Armor Bearing Earma Brown. Share with them about the biblical model of an armor bearer and test the waters to see if they are in line with that. If you are sensing that they are iffy, just gently back off. No need to get upset or angry or feel defeated. Consider this...what is God protecting you from? Continue praying that God will bring someone who understands biblical armor bearing.

Proceed with care. What's the rush?

If what you saw with another pastor and their armor bearer was real, it was not arrived at overnight and was time tested.

Delay is better than disaster.

Time is your friend when it comes to making a decision.

There is no Golden Corral version of an armor bearer

2012-01-02T18:00:00.000-08:00

Today I'm starting a series on armor bearers. I know there is great material out there about how to be an armor bearer. Many if not most of us have read Terry Nance's Armor Bearer I and II and they are really considered to be the "Bible" of armor bearing books beside the Bible itself. I highly recommend these two books, and one of our PPN writers, Pastor Ronnelle Thomas-Brunswick, recommends In the Spirit of Armorbearing by Earma Brown.

But not a lot if anything is written for the pastor on how to find or select an armor bearer.

I'm asked about this a lot. It seems to be a common concern among pastors and their spouses. I am a fellow traveler on this journey and have had my share of experiences good and bad. While I don't have all the answers, I do know a few things and am going to share them in the next few posts here on PPN. I've invited our writers to share as well.

I began by asking each one of our writers this question: "If you had to boil it down to just ONE WORD that you need MOST from an armor bearer, if you only had to choose the MOST IMPORTANT thing - the TOP quality, what would it be?" Here are the answers I got:

Melissa Kelly: Loyalty

Lisa Alexander: Stability

Jessica Smith: Called

Tara Sloan: Loyalty

Ronnelle Thomas-Brunswick: Consistency

Tracy Peters: Dependability

Leanne Weber: Proactive

I join Melissa and Tara in that my top quality is loyalty.

As we begin this series, one thing I want to point out is that there is no Golden Corral version of an armor bearer. What do I mean by this? At a buffet, people pick and choose what they want. You could go to Golden Corral and eat nothing but fried chicken. You could skip the steak, the potatoes, the salad, the dessert and everything else. You could just eat cheese if you wanted. Some people treat spiritual things like buffets. They pick and choose what they want.

Some people set out to be an armor bearer and think they are going to create the role for themselves rather than follow what the Bible clearly says.

Being an armor bearer is not like being at a buffet. You don't get to pick and choose what you want. A true armor bearer possesses all the essential biblical qualities, not just the ones they feel like having.

A true [emphasis on true] armor bearer doesn't have the choice to decide that they are going to be proactive, but not loyal. They can't wake up and say, "well, today I really feel like being loyal but I don't know about dependable." Well, they CAN, but then they wouldn't really be an armor bearer, so what's the point of that?

Here's what some of our writers had to say in addition:

Lisa says, "I need them to be stable in the faith, stable in their emotions, stable in their personal life. No more doubleminded folk who are unstable in all of their ways."

Melissa says, "Loyalty!!! Is is huge for me as well as Sean. Also trustworthy! Not going to spread gossip as "prayer requests".

Jessica says: "It's not enough to be trained or equipped, they need to have a connection to God and to you...in a way, called to you in the relationship. Nothing is worse than having an armor bearer who is equipped but does not click with your personality or vision."

And finally, Leanne says, "Proactive; anticipating what needs to be done and willing to do it."

In summary on this point, there is a checklist of the biblical qualities for an armor bearer. Most of us pastors are aware of those qualities. (And if you aren't I highly recommend Nance's book which covers them all extensively out of both the Old/New Testaments.)

Our problem comes in that we often bring people alongside us who only possess the qualities of their choice. We take someone who doesn't agree with all of the standards of biblical armor bearing because we don't know what else to do.

When someone says, "I'll give you steak, cheese and dessert, but not potatoes..." we go, "okay, well I guess steak, cheese, and dessert it is..."

I probably don't have to tell any of you reading this what comes next when we do that. If you have been in ministry any length of time you know exactly where that ends up.

I have some thoughts on that to share in the next post.

In Him

2011-11-25T23:18:00.000-08:00

Hello Ladies,

So I have been waiting to write this short note until God released me to do so. When I share, it is out of my own heart, experiences, and relationship with God. So here it is, I lay it out on the line for all of you to read. This is my first post for the Pastoring Partners network. A special thanks to Pastor Deanna Shrodes!!

So you may have noticed the title of this note is “In Him”. This all started a few weeks ago, while on my way to work in my white mini-van. I have noticed that God speaks to me when I am driving, so its always interesting. So am driving along, minding my own business thinking of my checklist of things to do when I get to the office. “Open door for meeting, order supplies from Sam’s, e-mail clients,….” I had stopped at a stop light, and out of no where this little red beetle lands on my windshield. “Huh, that’s a weird looking bug.” So I speed up after the light changes green, and that little bug hangs on for dear life. I went from 30, to 40, to 50 miles per hour.

The little beetle just hanging out enjoying the ride. “Hey lady, thanks for the ride. I just wanted to rest for a while.” This little guy hung on, as I sped up to 55 miles per hour, he started looking kind of nervous. “What’s going on here? Why is this thing rocking?” The wind starting blowing pretty hard from the North, as a cold front was coming through, and with it dreary rain, fog, and cold. The little bug decided it would continue to push through the rain, wind, and fog. It was then the Holy Spirit said, “Watch.” I did what I was told. The little beetle clung to the window with all six legs, then slowly, five legs, four legs, three legs, then two. The last two legs, it looked like he was clinging to the end of air-plane not wanting to go sky-diving.

All it took was one more gust of wind to whip him into the foggy air. No longer was little beetle apart of my ride to work. It was kind of sad, that moment, my friend leaving in the middle of the storm. The rest of the way, the Holy Spirit spoke to me several things.

First of all, Acts 17:28 states, “For in Him we live, and move, and have our being…” The little beetle was a picture of how I have tried to handle the storms of life. At times its easy to cling to another’s victory or relationship with God, or follow a path that offers some comfort. The little bug clung to what was easy, familiar, and yet it was the most unsafe place for him to be. I was inside my van, safe from the storm, at peace, warm, and knowing where I was going. When we are in Him, even during the storms and struggles we may face, He is in us guiding us, keeping us safe. There were times that Jesus calmed the storm, made a way in the river, and even slept. How much more do we have that same power and peace accessible to us.

Secondly, we have the choice daily to enter into His presence before our journey begins. There is no special formula for this, but just speaking to the Father the thoughts of your heart and mind. Giving Him your day any part of the day not out of obligation, but relationship is key to living in Him, and not in the Storm.

Lastly, 1st Thessalonians 5:18 shares, “Give thanks to God in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” When life’s circumstances do not look how you expect it to be, and God’s Word doesn’t match the facts of your life, it is STILL God’s will for you to be at peace in Him, and to be thankful. This kind of thankfulness is not based out of our own emotions or feelings, but the very fact and truth of WHO God is in your moment. Our joy comes from the Lord, and this Joy (Jesus) is our strength. The joy of the Lord is our strength. So we can thank Him, love Him, live in Him, while He directs our path.

So dear ones, it is my desire for you all to be challenged during this Holiday season to push through the storms, circumstances, and emotions and be in Him, as He is in us..

Blessings,

He Never Lets Go!

2011-10-31T08:12:00.000-07:00

Seasons are changing and there are some very beautiful sights to see and the smell of fall is in the air. We are all in different seasons of ministry here on PPN and some of us are walking through some storms, struggles and hurts that are mending others are celebrating victories they are seeing in their ministries. Either way we all need the reassurance that God is with us. Over the weekend the Lord spoke to me about where He is when we are hurting and I shared this on my personal blog but instead of making you have to follow the link I have reposted my post here for you to read. I pray it ministers to your hearts today!

**********************************************************

Yesterday during our worship service we sang “Never Let Go.” Here are a few of the chorus lyrics in case you are not sure what I am talking about…

“Ever faithful, Ever true, You I know You never let go,

You never let go, You never let go, You never let go”

We have sung this song a few times before but this time was different. You see during the weekend a brother in Christ lost his battle with cancer but won the victory over death as he entered through the pearly gates of heaven. While we were singing the Lord was speaking to my heart. In times of great strife, storms, illness, and the death of loved ones we often times question where is God? Why has He left us? Why has He allowed this to happen? Sometimes it’s hard to remember that He is right there with us during those tough times.

You see God NEVER lets us go. Once we accept Him as our Savior He grabs a hold of us and refuses to let go. What the Lord was showing me yesterday is that it is during those times of storms that He holds on to us even tighter. When we are questioning where He is, He is there holding onto us with all of his might. In the case of this dear brother in Christ, the Lord showed me that God was there with him, holding on so tight that when the pain he was in was too much to bare Jesus said, “That’s enough, it’s time to come home,” removing him from the pain and the disease, holding him tightly, never letting him go.

If you are hurting today, struggling with “where are you God” in the midst of your storm know this…

God is there! He hasn’t left your side! He will NEVER let you go, in fact in the midst of your storm He is there holding you tighter than ever before! God’s word promises us, “For the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deut 31:6b

In His Grip,

My Restlessness

2011-10-08T10:54:00.000-07:00

“Our hearts are meant to be connected to the Creator of our souls, when they are not we are restless. Augustine of Hippo said, ‘You have made us for yourself, o Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you’” (p. 25, Beautifully Gifted, Angela Bisignano, 2011).

New Year’s Day we went around the sanctuary of the church, and each one of us pulled a scripture from the “Promise Box”. This was to be your verse for the coming year, and we all committed to pray the verse, and ask God to reveal Himself through it. The verse I pulled was Ex. 33:14, “The LORD replied, ‘My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Five weeks later we were asked to resign.

My verse has been plaguing me ever since. Nothing about this year has been restful—from losing our job and ministry, moving to another county, joining another church, beginning my secular job—everything seems to be another level of pain and despair, not rest with one loss after another. I have felt like my heart has been a constant place of turmoil.

As I began reading Beautifully Gifted, I wondered, “Is this the piece of the puzzle that I’ve been missing?”

Throughout this whole season, I have continued to seek God, worship God and study His Word, albeit in a much different form. My heart has been hurt. I feel embarrassed to say that He has hurt my feelings. I didn’t have any desire to be a Job—I wasn’t looking to have a book written about me, or have my life used in deep theological debates about the love and provision of God toward those who follow Him. But here we are. And even typing those words out seems to be a pompous, conceited thing. Who am I, in the big scheme of Kingdom thinking, to even imagine that I would be considered a Job?

I keep hearing that we give too much credit to the enemy, and that many more times than not, we are not under attack from the Satan, we are reaping the harvest of our own stupidity. While I agree with that thought to a point, but when we are following the commands listed in the Word to tithe, to be merciful, to love and forgive, and everything is still going south, isn’t it safe to think that the enemy has something to do with it?

I have repeatedly asked God to show me what is lurking beneath the surface of my heart. Those things that I am embarrassed to show anyone; frankly, I’m too embarrassed to view them myself. But as each part of what I thought was my life has been stripped away, I have found ugliness hiding in the shadowplaces. Anger, rage, bitterness, fear—all reared their replusive heads as my world began to shake and crumble. With each new issue, some other sinful attitude displayed itself, and I repented as I saw it. How could I have so much still there?

But they just keep coming, one after another. So many issues, so many attitudes and emotions. Then I watched a video of “Wednesdays with Beth Moore” today. She said at one point that everything comes back to faith, and that God cares more about our faith than our righteous acts. Often we are confused about feeling like we are back to Faith 101 class in our lives, but that is because we always come back to faith in our walk with Christ. It is part of the process that God has in place; each level of our relationship with Jesus requires a deeper level of faith. So maybe the feeling of going back to Faith 101 means that we are on the brink of a new level, a new deeper, more intimate relationship with Jesus that demands that our faith be stretched, and our spiritual capacity enlarged.

This gave me hope today. I’ve felt so lost and confused, like I’ve been trying to look through a dirty window caked with mud. I can see shapes and shadows of something out there, but I can’t quite make out what it is. Now I think the point is found in Romans 4:20-22. “Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had the power to do what he had promised. This is why it was credited to him as righteousness.” Beth Moore went on to say that there is always a “yet” when it comes to faith, always an opportunity to doubt. But when we choose to look beyond what we can see with our natural eyes, and focus with eyes of faith, we will not waiver in our belief of God’s promises either.

I’d like to tell you that everything is clear now, and I understand why God is taking us down this path. But that is not true. What is true, however, is that I’m more convinced than ever that God is working His character in our lives, and it is our job to cooperate with Him by choosing to believe in the promises in His word, and not what we see with our eyes. I’m searching for ways to rest in God, so my heart will not be restless.

I’m rewriting Romans 4:20-22 out on another index card, but I’m changing the pronoun from “he” (Abraham) to “she” (Judi). Want to join me in praying these promises this week, and see how God transforms our thoughts?

I’d love to hear how God is teaching you to overcome your own soul restlessness.

In pursuit of zoe,

How do you handle them coming back?

2011-09-26T04:53:00.000-07:00

By a show of hands, how many of you have been hurt or betrayed by family or close trusted friend?

Let me guess, 100 percent of you.

Alright now what do you do when the very one that hurt you is in a position where they need you?

Yesterday at a visiting church the pastor asked us to contemplate that very question.

Follow this link for the complete story and a closing prayer.

Blessings everyone!

Dealing with jealous women in the church (and particularly with Mrs. PW Wanna Be)

2011-09-08T12:29:00.000-07:00

One thing every pastor's wife or woman pastor encounters at some point are jealous women in the church. This is evident by the "fishbowl" or the "glass house" that people often mention that we live in. People watch us and are sometimes envious while also being clueless about the cost of vocational ministry.

Some think they have their jealous spirit well hidden, but it certainly isn't hidden from God and it usually isn't hidden long-term from others. The green-eyed monster has a way of exposing itself. It is amazing what people strive for out of wrong motivations. I have seen people half kill themselves in the church striving for what seemed like very Godly things, however it was all in vain because it was motivated by a jealous heart.

After being burned numerous times, I am careful of who I place closely around me. God has shown me it's important that I be a discerning wife, to help my husband in the same way. Some of the greatest hurts have occurred in discovering that certain women really didn't like me at all as a person -- they were simply jockeying for position. Their reaching out had nothing to do with loving, or serving with me -- it was simply to get to a place where they wanted to be.

Going through these situations in the ministry has caused growth in my spiritual walk. The key is to allow it to shape me instead of break me, and turn me into a vessel that God can use in a greater capacity. I have also gotten glimpses of what a jealous heart "looks like." I have found that even the most seemingly spiritual of people can be dealing with a jealous heart. I myself have dealt with a jealous heart before and had to ask God to forgive me. How we need the discernment of the Holy Spirit as to what our true motives are. The bible says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it?" Jeremiah 17:9

Ecclesiastes 4:4-6 says, "Then I saw that all toil and all skill in work comes from a man's envy of his neighbor. This also is vanity and striving after wind. Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and striving after wind." Many people are chasing the wind. They are striving after things that mean absolutely nothing because the motivation of their hearts are wrong.

Those of us who are pastors' wives find that some people try to get close to us because they are after our husband. Some are actually after them sexually. Others aren't about sex, their hot button is power. They want influence in the church -- they want things their way. If they can't get through to the pastor with their manipulation, they will do the next best thing -- get up close to his wife to try to get their way. If neither of these tactics work, these type of women usually turn on both the pastor and wife and become a nightmare.

Mrs. "PW Wanna Be"

I have met this lady, and apparently many of you have too. Lots of you who email me here on the PPN evidently have her in your church! Let me give you the profile. I call her "Mrs. PW Wanna Be", hereafter referred to as "Mrs. PWWB". She is a woman who probably felt called to vocational ministry and longed to be a pastor's wife herself but ended up marrying somebody else. Her husband may be anything from an executive at a company to a construction worker, but the fact is, she's unhappy. She may have actually been called to be a pastor's wife, but she made a decision out of God's will and is now suffering for it. Such women can take their consequences out on the pastor and wife by trying to actually "be" the pastor's wife while not actually being the pastor's wife.

At a previous church we pastored, we had a Mrs. PWWB, and my husband did not see it for a long time. He thought she was just a talented woman who wanted to do all she could to help the church. Truth be told she was very talented and I recognized that. I had no problem with talented women serving, in fact I welcomed it. But I knew this woman wanted more. She didn't just want to serve, she wanted to BE the pastor's wife. She started requesting closed meetings with my husband. She excluded me wherever possible. She began dressing like me, and exhibited many more behaviors that just threw red flags up all over the place for me. Still my husband didn't "get it". He just thought she was a woman with a lot of talent to bless the church.

Her manipulative behavior went on for a long time and frustrated me until one Sunday morning when her true colors were revealed. I was leading worship and my husband was seated on the front row, with my Bible and purse in the chair next to him. It was our custom that after worship I would come back down to sit by him while another staffer did the announcements and offering. While I was leading worship Mrs. PWWB came up to the front row. Plenty of chairs were available elsewhere, and in fact her husband was sitting in the sanctuary with a chair available next to him. But she didn't want that chair, or just any chair, she wanted mine. She moved my Bible and purse, and sat next to my husband! Larry's eyes were as big as saucers! He was so uncomfortable and just looked at me in amazement. With the way she came and sat by him, if one were a first time guest in the church they would have even assumed she was the pastor's wife! And that's exactly what she wanted. From that day on, he put up his guard with Mrs. PWWB. As you can imagine she didn't like his new boundaries. Things imploded and she did everything she could do to destroy him. (It didn't work, but it was one of the most stressful periods of our ministry.)

Mrs. PWWB is in total misery deep inside. The fact that Jimmy or Bobby works at GM, IBM or as a local policeman is not enough for her. It doesn't matter how successful her husband is at his very respectable job, because this is not the role she wants him to have.

She fantasizes over what it would be like to be you. You will sometimes find her endeavoring to dress like you, do various tasks that you do in the church, and get as up close to your husband as possible. She will come to you and say, "I was in prayer and the Lord told me you have too much on you and I need to take some of these responsibilities." This would be great if it were for the right reasons. You probably are overwhelmed and need someone to help, but unfortunately Mrs. PWWB is not the person for the job.

She will go through a lot of inner turmoil that her husband isn't a pastor. At some point, if Mrs. PWWB's husband is a believer, she has tried to talk him into going to Bible College or pushed him to pursue ministerial credentials of some kind. If he does not follow through with this she will be very frustrated. She believes that for her to get where she wants to be, he needs to do this. Typically, Mrs. PWWB's husband is marginally involved, and he doesn't crave the spotlight like she does. He could take it or leave it. But she lives for it. Remember, that's part of the problem to begin with.

If Mrs. PWWB's husband is not a Christian, she is jealous of you all the more because you have what she currently doesn't-- a Godly man. Some of the greatest critics you may have are those who do not have strong marriages. For whatever reason, these tend to be some of the most critical people in the church. Mrs.PWWB usually has a husband who is generally very laid back and not real leadership material. And she hates you for it. Yes, I know this sounds more like a Lifetime movie than a church situation, but many pastors' wives can tell you this stuff is REAL!

Mrs. PWWB may talk to you about these feelings of wanting to be in full time vocational ministry or she may not. She may open up about her difficult marriage or she may not. She may talk to you about trying to get her husband to go through ministry training or she may not. The nuts and bolts of these situations vary, but one things remains the same -- either way it is equally painful. The bottom line is, you are in a position she wants. Sooner or later it will start to show as she starts to kick up against you. It might be ever so slightly at first, but things escalate. In time, Mrs. PWWB will become your greatest critic and if your husband doesn't respond to her favorably, she will also become his. First she will try to divide you. If that doesn't work, she will come against you both. Incidentally, most "Mrs. PW Wanna Be's" don't go to churches of 500 or 1,000 and try this. They usually show up in a church of 200 or less. The reason for this is because it's harder to get in like she wants to in a larger church, and it takes longer. Smaller churches need more help, and typically struggle to get faithful workers, and Mrs. PWWB is much more attractive as a worker in these smaller settings. These type of women are usually very strong workers in the church, with type "A" personalities, who in the beginning are seen as God's answer to prayer.

Mrs. PWWB has been responsible for many forced resignations of pastors. A male pastor is often fooled by these women because especially in the beginning they do not look like trouble. Most of them masquerade as polished professionals. They are ultra-talented, appear spiritual will burn the midnight oil at the church if this is what it takes to get the job done. They will have gifts that will be greatly utilized by your church, but the only problem is -- it will cost you far more than you want to pay. Most pastors crave workers so much they will often accept an ill motivated Mrs. PWWB just to fill the slots, simply because she can fill a ministry slot and do it quite well. Only she just doesn't want any slot or position -- she wants YOURS. She will never be satisfied with the amount of power and leadership your husband gives her. She will continue the "push" until he releases more. It will often be too late before the pastor realizes, he's simply been eating out of the palm of this woman's hand. Unfortunately he discovers too late that he has been nibbling on poison.

I encourage you to read the story of Korah, Dathan and Abiram in Numbers 16. In this chapter, these three men came against Moses and Aaron and basically said (in verse 3 but I'm using my own paraphrase here)…"who are you guys to set yourself above us? Aren't we anointed? Can't you put us in position to do what you're doing?" Basically these three guys were eaten up with jealousy towards Moses and Aaron. They really didn't care about ministry or changing lives, they just wanted a position. Go on and read the whole chapter and you will see some other very ridiculous statements that these three guys made, again, completely motivated by a jealous heart.

Jealousy is a sin that is completely ruthless when you get right down to it. Look at most murder cases and you will find that they were motivated by a jealous heart. Proverbs 27:4 says, "Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood. But who can stand before jealousy?"

In fact, you will see in scripture that jealousy was the motive for the first murder, in Genesis 4!!! Yes, jealousy is a cruel, cruel thing. "Jealousy is as cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame." Song of Solomon 8:6

We see jealousy with women in scripture too. The story of Rachel and Leah in Genesis 30 shows us some specific things that women deal with. These two sisters were dealing with the bondages of low self esteem and lack of security, as well as intense envy. Rachel declared, "With mighty wrestlings, I have wrestled with my sister." These ladies basically had a cat-fight. A jealous wrestling match! We see through them that jealousy causes women to be driven to possess objects that other women have, to gain their security in their performance instead of being secure in Christ, and to gain security from other people's opinions of them.

It's not just the pastor's wife or woman pastor that women will be jealous of. They are jealous of anyone that God is utilizing in an "up front" way. I have seen women completely eaten up with envy at new or unlikely people that God is using. They think, "why did THEY get the choir solo?" or "Why is the pastor asking THEM to head that ministry?" or "Why is the pastor's son interested in dating that girl and not my daughter? The bible says in Ecclesiastes that there is nothing new under the sun. How true. Even Jesus knew what it was like to be the new and unlikely person that God was using that everybody was jealous of! Pilate had a clue as to why the religious leaders wanted Jesus dead. He said to them, "who do you want me to release? Barabbas or Jesus?" Who did they pick? Barabbas. Scripture makes the reason clear. Matthew 27:17,18 says, "Pilate said to them, who do you want me to release for you? Barabbas or Jesus, who is called the Christ? For he knew that because of envy they had delivered Him up." Now I don't know about you, but I certainly don't want to be aligned with those who chose Barabbas over Jesus! (But that's exactly what people do when they allow a jealous spirit to grip their heart!)

A few things I encourage you to do:

Ask God to show you who you are in Him, and ask Him to do the same with the women of your church.

This means seeing ourselves as God sees us -- no more, but no less either! We are "fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139) and have no reason to envy another. We must rejoice in our uniqueness and the fact that we are His daughters. The sky is the limit, in all our lives. Women in the church need to realize that although they may not be called to be the pastor's wife, or a full time woman minister, they have a valuable place in the Kingdom of God. For Mrs. PWWB, this is a very difficult thing. You will not accomplish it just by loving on her, or teaching her. It will take prayer and fasting for this woman because what is needed is deliverance, not training.

Rejoice in God's blessing on others.

We must rejoice when good things happen for other people, and we must teach our people the same. What we make happen for others, God makes happen for us. The women of our churches need to hear this biblical teaching on regular occasions. Are we teaching our ladies to be happy when other women move into new homes, re-decorate them, buy new cars, have babies, become financially blessed, grow in ministry and influence, etc.? We live in a world where women are eaten up by envy. We need to teach women that instead of being envious, they need to be excited for others who are blessed.

Determine to get to the bottom of any issues of insecurity and fear in your walk with God. Teach the women of your church about this as well.

Recognize that if people have a problem seeing other people blessed,, they own the problem, not the person being blessed. Perhaps we think that God's love is greater for that person because they are receiving a blessing. This is a false belief that we must deal with in your spiritual walk. Psalm 49:16 says, "Do not be afraid when a man becomes rich, when the glory of his house is increased." When we wrestle with this all the time, we need to get a greater glimpse of God's love for us, and develop more security in your relationship with Him. I'm convinced if most people just understood God's everlasting love, their lives would be radically changed just from this one thing being resolved in their lives.

Some of you may say, "Well Deanna, that's great but it seems I'm always the one people are jealous of, not the other way around." I understand that too. When I first started in ministry I was puzzled by jealous people, because it didn't take me long to realize how challenging the ministry is and how much you have to sacrifice. I couldn't believe that women were somehow jealous of me. I thought, "do these people understand how hard my life is at times? Do they not understand what they would be giving up, or the pain they would go through to be in my shoes?" The truth is that many people are jealous of others because they only see the blessings in others' lives, not the sacrifices they have made. Yes, there are advantages to leadership but there are also huge sacrifices that many never see. The fact is, is Mrs. PWWB had your life or mine she'd probably have a nervous breakdown.

Do not shrink back from your calling because of jealous women.

You are a leader, placed by God. If you shrink back, you will not be in position to speak to these issues with authority. Yes, you speak it in love, but you speak it. If you abdicate your position, even if only for a season, somebody (probably Mrs. PWWB) will step up and rise to the occasion. Where there is a gap in leadership, SOMEBODY fills it. If you shrink back in fear, or even exhaustion - she will step up and then it will be even more difficult to get your influence back. You must stand.

Second, don't be led by fear. I know it can be difficult when you are dealing with a power-hungry, manipulative woman. It gets tiring. Besides that she's not the only thing you're dealing with! You have so much on your plate as a pastor's wife! Sometimes you wanna give up and say, "Okay, so you want my life? Here, try it for a while!" BAD IDEA.

Plenty of scenarios probably go through your head of what could happen when you think about confronting them, or correcting them. But you must not be fearful. The Word says that God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind!!! If you are a pastor's wife consider that you and your husband are the church's spiritual parents. Parenting is not easy sometimes, in fact it's flat out difficult. Nobody ever said this role was for wimps. Be loving, but be FIRM.

Third, keep a close watch on your husband. He doesn't always see this type of woman for what she is until it's too late. When Mrs. PWWB showed up there were probably things you really needed her for in the church and your husband was excited about it. It's devastating to him when he realizes the person he thought was such a gift to the ministry is actually dangerous.

The most important thing is to pray your husband through this, and ask the Holy Spirit to show him quickly about women who have these tendencies. Keep good communication, prayer, and a healthy sex life with your husband. Keep the lines of communication open so that he is receptive to that which you discern. A man of God is much more susceptible to these dangerous type of women when the relationship with his wife is not strong in these areas.

We must be women of prayer. This more than anything else is what helps when dealing with jealous women in the church. The Bible says that some things only happen through prayer and fasting. It takes more than just a hug here and there or some lessons on leadership to deal with jealous church women. It takes a woman of faith who will stand in prayer for her husband and church. And, someone who is not afraid to lead once she has heard from God.

Who would do this if I didn't?

2011-09-03T07:03:00.000-07:00

Each Saturday I find myself doing what seems like a million jobs around my house that nobody would even notice...unless I didn't do them anymore for a while. Then certain things would become a real mess! It takes me at least half the day to get all these things done, some days the whole day. But they are mostly unnoticed by anyone else, because I keep up with them and maintain the smooth running of things. Many times on Saturdays I rush around out of breath just to get everything done and meanwhile my kids don't even realize it. They are doing their own thing. Why do I tell you all this? I know you really don't care about my Saturday cleaning routine but I am headed toward making a point here so stay with me!

In the church I find myself doing many things as the partner to the pastor that go undetected by 99.9% of people. These things are behind the scenes, extremely important things, which left unchecked would leave a real void. Because I am doing them on a regular basis, the ship runs more smoothly. No one would be aware of the importance of these things, unless...I did not do them anymore.

Just as we do many things in our home in serving as wife and mother, so we do many things in the church as spiritual mother that affect the welfare of our church and it's precious people. Many people are unaware of these things but it doesn't make the things any less important.

Sometimes it's as simple as having the knowledge of a difficult time in a person's life and dropping a note in the mail to them. It's seeing the person over in the corner at a fellowship and taking time to notice them and give an encouraging word. It's bending down to take a child in your arms who is crying because some other children have excluded them from their group. It's making a phone call to someone you just have a sense needs to hear a word of life. Sometimes it entails taking care of an administrative task for your husband that was left undone by someone else that could really affect the services the next weekend. So, you step in and "save the day" so things will go smoothly, and no one is the wiser that something almost fell through the cracks.

The other day I was thinking about this as I was doing one such task, and the thought came to me, "Who would do this if I wasn't doing it?" The simple answer is: no one. There would be a void...an empty space...something important left undone...or perhaps not ever started in some cases.

Your ministry does make a difference, pastor’s wife. Many things would not be accomplished, and many people would go unreached in your local church, were in not for your caring touch.

If you stopped doing things around your home that needed attention, would someone else rise up and do it? No. A lot of things would just become an incredible mess. (Trust me, I tried it once. Ha!) If you decided to pay no attention to things happening and not love on your kids, or give them any attention, would someone else? (Usually only the wrong people such as drug dealers or the wrong type of boyfriend/girlfriend. That's exactly why a lot of kids get in trouble.) If you suddenly stopped doing the small everyday things that no one may notice, it might not seem a big deal for a day or two, but left long term it could wreck your family. So it is with your church family. Simply put, they need you!

You do fulfill a role that no one else can as the wife to the pastor. The things you are doing are important, whether anyone sees all of it or not. It's not about being "prominent" but it's about being "significant." My liver is not a prominent part of my body. I have never seen it but I'm sure it's not all that attractive. I get queasy about stuff like that, in fact I can't watch those operations on the Discovery Channel, as I get faint just watching a few seconds of them! My son Jordan could watch them for hours. Well, I have never seen my liver and no one else has either. However, although not prominent or displayed it is a very significant part of me that I could not live without. Other things can be missing from the body. But the liver cannot be missing although completely hidden from the public eye. The heart cannot be missing although we never see what it does. I have never seen my heart work, but I know it works. I wouldn't be sitting here typing this to you right now if it didn't work. Just because you cannot always SEE something working doesn't mean it's not incredibly significant.

One of my mentors, June Coker often says, "They won't miss the water til' the well runs dry." Sometimes people don't know what they have until it's gone. It's true that many times we do not appreciate something until we don’t have it anymore. Perhaps you feel that way sometimes - that no one realizes what you do nor appreciates it. I want to tell you that if you weren't doing it anymore, they sure would miss you. More than words could ever express. Many times when we were at our previous church, I realized that many people did not realize all that I gave of myself. Months would go by without so much as a simple “thanks.” I always kept my focus on the fact that I was doing what I did as unto the Lord, not for the thanks of people. But after we were gone, it is amazing the letters, calls and e-mails I receive even up until this day ten years later, with people saying, "Thank you. We never realized…” I have e-mails, notes, cards, etc. from my former church people tacked on my bulletin board in my current office that say, "Only when you were gone did we realize the tremendous void that will never be re-filled..." and... "things will never be the same" and..."thank you for all you did that many times went un-noticed." Sometimes the real thanks only comes after you are not there anymore, and sometimes the thanks will not come until heaven!

I tell you this to encourage you to take heart – they don’t realize, and it’s not intentional. How many times do you tell yourself that until your children get older they will not realize all the sacrifices you made in parenting them? Or just how much you cared? Your kids are absolutely oblivious to how hard you work, how much you do, how many bills you pay, how much you sacrifice so they can have things and do things. They are KIDS. There was a time a few years back that my boys had just left on a ski trip at 5 am with the youth group. They called me three times that morning to tell me of all the fun they are having driving through Georgia, South Carolina, and North Carolina. They were having the time of their life. They were completely oblivious to the stress their father and I went through the day before trying to find them a pair of waterproof winter gloves, here in Central Florida in March. It's was already spring in Florida. The flowers were blooming. Nobody in Florida cared at that moment about skiing. (Except the 15 kids who left on this trip that morning.) My husband went to ten stores looking for just a pair of gloves. He was so stressed out. My boys were oblivious to the fact that their father had to drive all the way back to a special store on the opposite side of town to exchange their snow suits for a bigger size because the boys told him the wrong size on the phone the day before. They were completely clueless as to how much stress it was for me that day to host an evangelist's family of six people who had been with us in a week's revival, then race home for supper, get more things packed for their suitcases, head off to another church where I preached that night, and get back late in time to kiss my little girl good night and finish getting the boys ready for the ski trip. They were oblivious to the fact that their Dad got up at 4am on his day off today to take them to the church to leave on the trip. They are oblivious to all the money we shelled out on this trip and so many other trips in the past and those yet to come. All they knew was that they were having a great time on the church van that day and it was going to be even more fun going down the slopes the next day! They won't realize much of anything their father and I have done for them until they are about thirty and then it will finally dawn on them. (After they have their own kids.) Who knows...they might not even fully realize it until their father and I are...........gone.

Your church people show up to church each week and many times they are oblivious as to what it took to keep the place running all week. All they know is, “yippee! It’s Sunday morning and we are having the time of our life!” They are swaying back and forth to the praise and worship, enjoying the sermon, shedding a few tears at the altar, and going home feeling like a million bucks. They show up week after week and see everything in it's place and ready to roll, completely clueless as to how everything got there. I teasingly say some church people must think a fairy godmother keeps everything going behind the scenes. Well, we're not fairies (thank God), but in a way, we are "God-Mothers."

Ladies, your “church kids” might not realize the stuff you do but that's really inconsequential. I believe just as we Moms are the heart of the home, so us pastors' wives are the “heart” of our church. (Sounds better than the liver of your church so I thought I would use that one...) You play a significant role although many of the things you do are not seen. I play an "up front" role as some of you do, but what most people don't realize is, the time I spend in behind the scenes things still far, far, far outweighs the time I'm in front of people doing something publicly. Sheep will never realize all we do because sheep have a different view. The shepherd stands up on two legs, while the sheep are down on all fours. I don't say this in a demeaning way but to illustrate...a shepherd stands up on two legs and this means they see further down the road. God makes them so they see things the sheep can't see, nor understand. The shepherd lovingly cares for the sheep and many times the sheep are completely clueless of just how much the shepherd does. In fact, their very lives are many times protected by the shepherd and they don't even realize it! Don't get mad if your sheep don't realize what you do. They are just being normal sheep.

Who would do this if you didn't? Nobody. So don't stop.

A Season of Transition

2011-09-01T06:41:00.000-07:00

Transition- passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another ; a movement, development, or evolution from one form, stage, or style to another; an abrupt change in energy state usually accompanied by loss or gain of a single quantum of energy.

How many of you reading this today are in a state of transition from one ministry to the next? Maybe it was by choice and maybe it wasn’t, either way you find yourself in a season of transition and it’s unfamiliar territory. What are you to do? Where do you go from here? What comes next? These are the simple questions people generally have when they enter this season in ministry. Many times it comes swiftly and we are left with no answers and other times it’s a planned change and you have all kinds of ideas of what comes next and yet you still feel lost. In the beginning of transition from being in ministry to not being in “church” ministry is a hard place.

This is a season that my husband and I are in right now, a place of transition, a place of change, a place of healing. At first we both felt like we were in a whirlwind of confusion. I won’t go into why we are in this place but I can say we know God was behind it. The first few months we honestly didn’t know what end was up. We felt lost. Our normal routine of preparing our messages and activities for our services no longer existed. It felt wrong to be relaxing on a Saturday afternoon when normally we would have been at church preparing. Having no pressures or stress of getting the kids up and out of the house on Sunday morning to be at the church hours before services started wasn’t there and we truly felt lost. If you are in this place today, give yourself time to adjust.

Many times we are thrown into transition filled with hurts others have inflicted upon us for whatever reason. Take this time to heal, rest and grow even closer to the Lord. You may have entered into this season kicking and screaming or entered peacefully and excited about what God has in store. Either way make time to rest!

It has been a full year that we stepped down from the church we were pastor’s of and in this year I have learned some very valuable lessons that I hope will encourage you as you walk through this season as well.

#1 – REST, REST, REST!!! Take this time to truly rest in the Lord. When we rest in the Lord He is faithful to refresh our lives and give us a renewed spirit and fight to get back out there and face whatever it is God has called you to do. David even thanks the Lord for his time of rest here in Psalms 23:1-3,

“You, LORD, are my shepherd. I will never be in need. You let me rest in fields of green grass. You lead me to streams of peaceful water, and you refresh my life. You are true to your name, and you lead me along the right paths.”

#2 – Find fellowship! If you have stepped down from pastoring or another type of ministry and are unable to stay in the church you have been in you HAVE TO find another body of believers to fellowship with. Satan wants to pull you away from anything to do with God. Unfortunately many times our season of transition comes from sad events and we entered it filled with hurts. Satan’s goal is to keep you secluded and alone. It is a priority for you to find a place you can worship, be ministered to and find healing. The Lord will lead you to that place where you will find “streams of peaceful water and He will refresh your life!”

#3 – Be open to something new! You may find yourself in this season for longer than you expected or even wanted. Many times it’s our perspective of the situation that is clouding our judgment. David says of the Lord, “You are true to your name, and you lead me along the right paths.” Ps 23:3. Just because you may not be in a “church” ministry does not mean that the Lord cannot use you. I have seen many great men and women of God begin to question their call to ministry during a time of transition. God has called all of us to be ministers of the gospel and like Jesus most of His ministry took place outside of the temple walls. Just because you are not standing behind a pulpit preaching doesn’t mean you cannot be used by God! God can and will use you in the workplace, in your neighborhood, in your community if you are open to being outside the box! Right now my husband and I are in this transition period waiting on the Lord to one day soon open a door to church ministry again. But during this time God has opened the door for both us to minister. He is working in a teen rehab facility working with troubled and at risk teenagers and I am caring for an elderly woman who needs round the clock care. It may not be “church” ministry but we both have seen how God is using us to minister to those we are in charge of.

Let me encourage you if you are in this time of transition to rest and heal, fellowship and be open to what the Lord has for you during this time. God is not through with you I promise you that! We can stand on this promise, “He who began this good work in you, will carry it through to completion on the day of Christ Jesus.” Phil 1:6

Don't Storm Out of the Exam

2011-08-30T09:47:00.000-07:00

If we tell the truth, sometimes we consider throwing in the towel.

Please enjoy this post on not storming out of the exam! Another Place In Him: Don't storm out the exam room!

Blessings!

Stop Belly Aching

2011-08-23T07:46:00.000-07:00

How many times do we find ourselves facing situations that seem impossible and end up on our knees begging God to do something or blaming Him for the situation? Many times as ministers we find those we counsel in these same situations as well. Often times the situations are our own faults because of the choices we have made. This is exactly what Joshua does after the Israelite army runs in fear from the soldiers of Ai.

“Joshua sent about three thousand soldiers to attack Ai. But the men of Ai fought back and chased the Israelite soldiers away from the town gate and down the hill to the stone quarries. Thirty-six Israelite soldiers were killed, and the Israelite army felt discouraged. Joshua and the leaders of Israel tore their clothes and put dirt on their heads to show their sorrow. They lay face down on the ground in front of the sacred chest until sunset. Then Joshua said: Our Lord, did you bring us across the Jordan River just so the Amorites could destroy us? This wouldn't have happened if we had agreed to stay on the other side of the Jordan. I don't even know what to say to you, since Israel's army has turned and run from the enemy. Everyone will think you weren't strong enough to protect your people. Now the Canaanites and everyone else who lives in the land will surround us and wipe us out”. Joshua 7:4-10(CEV)

The LORD answered: Stop lying there on the ground! Get up!

I love how God answers this, just get up and stop complaining! Not exactly what I like to hear when it is me He is talking to but today His answer actually made me laugh. It sounds like something I have said to my children before when they have thrown themselves on the floor and lay there whining and complaining. Has God ever said this to you? He has me and I can tell you when He has I have not liked it one bit! A reprimand from the Lord is NEVER pleasant but if we take what He says and follow His word His blessings will follow us. Later in this chapter we read, “Then the Lord stopped being angry with Israel.”(Jos 7:26) But this did not happen until the Joshua followed the orders that God gave him concerning the situation that had gotten them to this place.
Our Heavenly Father wants only the best for us. It is our decision whether we will follow His plans for our lives and for our ministries. He is just like an earthly Father in that He disciplines us when needed, comforts us and loves us. As ministers and leaders sometimes we have to tell those we are ministering to, “to get up and stop the complaining.” It is our opportunity to pour God’s love and truth into the situations they may be facing. I have seen so many people including myself (just being honest and real here) that have tried to pass the buck onto someone else and usually it is God who gets the blame. You see, “the LORD had said that everything in Jericho belonged to him. But Achan from the Judah tribe took some of the things from Jericho for himself. And so the LORD was angry with the Israelites, because one of them had disobeyed him.” (Josh 7:1) This is the reason that the Lord did not help them win the battle that we just read above…this is why Joshua was belly aching. He was blaming God and yet there was disobedience that took place. He was trying to pass the buck onto God just like people do today.

Sometimes it’s hard to be in leadership, especially when we have to be the one to say “Get up and stop your belly aching” to those who need to hear the truth be spoken into their lives. But before we can do that we must also look inside and examine our own hearts to see if there is anything that God is speaking this same word to us about. Are you in need of a word like this today…“Stop lying there on the ground! GET UP!” What are you laying there complaining about? God has a plan for you and for your ministry - stop complaining and start praying!

Breathe Deep...

2011-03-28T08:42:00.000-07:00

The words to an early 1990s song run through my head like a mantra today.

Breathe deep, breathe deep the breath of God.

So much to do - so much packing, planning, wrapping up, moving forward, money is tight, life is uncertain, time is running out.

Breathe deep, breathe deep the breath of God.

My head throbs with pain, stress-related headaches, earaches, toothaches. The antibiotics and infection are gone, but the pain remains. An hour soaking in the tub; another hour lying on the couch, head back, surrounded by silence, breathing deep. Wondering if I will need to take this amount of time each day just to feel normal?

Breathe deep, breathe deep the breath of God.

Maybe this is not a bad thing. Maybe there is something to "Be still and know that I am God." Maybe He meant it. Maybe He meant it when He said to remember the Sabbath Day, to keep it holy.

Breathe deep, breathe deep the breath of God.

It is like oxygen. It is like cool water on a painful burn. It is more than a luxury; it is a necessity. Today I didn't ask Him for anything. I didn't follow any formulas - no SOAP or ACTS model for me. No chapter a day bookmark, no music softly playing in the background.

I just...breathed.

When people leave the church

2011-03-14T17:59:00.000-07:00

Have you gone through some of your worst frustrations in ministry due to the situation and aftermath of people leaving the church?

Receive some insight and encouragement from an article of mine on this subject that was published today by the Assemblies of God Women in Ministry Mobilized.

I sat in shock as I read the letter...

2011-01-07T08:28:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I was contacted on Facebook by a pastor’s wife who asked if we could meet for coffee. I have met this lady a couple of times before, but I wouldn’t say we are friends, or even associates; but I know that her oldest child is getting married in a few days, and thought maybe she needed someone to just listen to her vent. I was completely unprepared for what she told me.

She began by asking me to read a letter she had received from her husband just a few days before Christmas. Within the first paragraph, I was angry; by the time I made it through to page six, I was in disbelief. I don’t believe I have ever read a more arrogant, brutal, and twisted use of the Bible to manipulate another believer.

This man of God gave a detailed list of the things he thought she had done wrong over the course of their 30 years together, everything from being impatient with their children, to not attending correctly to his physical needs. He claimed that he could no longer justify being married to a woman who not only could never be his spiritual or emotional helpmate, but now he doubted her very salvation.

He wrote that to anyone who might criticize his decision to end their marriage, he would detail the many years he had suffered in silence as she ignored his various needs, and how he deserved to be happy and fulfilled. He ended the letter by saying that he had been a brilliant example of a Christ-like husband, father and pastor, and what a pity it was that she couldn’t realize what a gift he was.

Anyone else out there saying, WHAT??? Are you kidding? Sadly, he was not. He neglected to mention the years she worked to put him through college and then seminary, the years that she worked fulltime as he pastored small churches and didn’t have a real paycheck, the years when he worked 120+ hours at the church and she raised their children alone. He blamed her for the church not being successful, writing that it is because she was not an example of Godliness that the women of the church could look to as a leader.

She told me that she can be impatient with her children, but she has asked her children to forgive her and asked God to help her to see what is causing her frustration at home. (I chose to not tell her who the source of the frustration really was.) She told me that they have been to several counselors, and she has changed all of the things that her husband told her must change. But he isn’t satisfied, and she doesn’t know what to do.

As I held her hand and desperately prayed that God would guide and temper my response, I was reminded of the parable Jesus tells in Luke 18 of two men coming into the temple, and their totally different responses to God and their own righteousness—their “rightness” before God. The Pharisee stood before God, confident in who he was, and detailed to God all of the things he did to be a holy man. The tax collector on the other hand stood afar, asking God to forgive him for being a sinner. Jesus gives this epitaph of the entire scene, “I tell you that this man, rather than the [Pharisee], went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

I talked to her about personal healing, about allowing the Holy Spirit to heal her broken heart completely, and that no matter what her husband chooses to do, she has to realize who God says she is.

But as I tried to encourage this broken woman of God, God spoke to my heart too. How easy it is as ministry leaders to fall into the trap of self-righteousness, to see ourselves as more together than the ones who come to us for help and guidance. How often do I forget how broken I was when Jesus found me, and how patient and merciful God was as He healed my broken spirit? Do I see myself as more worthy of God’s blessings because I’m a leader of a ministry, or do I remember that it is only because of His grace to I am able to do ANYTHING, let alone lead.

Sisters, if you are trapped in a relationship with a man who emotionally and mentally abuses you like my new friend is, please reach out to other pastor’s wives. Let us minister to you, remind you of your incredible worth to God and the Kingdom, and pray with you for God’s intervention. No one knows the depth of pain you are experiencing like another pastor’s wife.

If you are blessed to be in a marriage with a man who loves you and appreciates your many gifts and talents, take a moment and thank God and your husband. Ministry is a big enough battle—we can’t allow ourselves to be used by the enemy to abuse the one we vowed before God to love.

Marriage is difficult; we don’t always like the one we have committed to. There are seasons to every relationship, but each of us must work at loving each other, and allowing God to continually change us to be more like Christ. But we cannot allow someone else to tell us what that change should look like. God wants us to see ourselves through His eyes, not anyone else’s eyes.

Be encouraged, dear sister! No matter what your struggle is today, no matter how deep the wound in your heart, please know that you are seen and understood (Ps. 139), and you are dearly loved (1 John 4:7-12, 16). “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the Gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 1:3-6)

Christmas Messes

2010-11-16T09:19:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago God really ministered to me through a story a friend shared about her adventures of decorating for Christmas, yes her home has been decorated for Christmas since Nov 5th, which totally amazes me. Anyway she shared with a group of us women what God showed her during that time and while she was sharing God showed me some more things that I would like to expand on here. So a little story and then what God has showed me through the story and through my friend.

It’s Christmas and you have planned to decorate your home to the fullest. Out in the garage where you have stored all of your decorations sits many, many, boxes to bring in. There are many boxes, from ornaments, the trees, to candles and lights to get out. The task seems unending and at times overwhelming but you have set in motion a plan and purpose for each ornament. You have a plan, a goal…a picture of how you want your home to look. So you bring in the boxes and already the room seems over filled with projects and you haven’t even started. Opening the first box you begin to decorate the first room. The first tree is ready to decorate and there are ornaments to unwrap, small boxes & paper scattered everywhere, a pile of messes here and there, throughout the house. As you are putting on the last ornament of that tree and think, ahhh this area is done, you turn around and what do you find, little messes, more work. You think to yourself I am never going to get done on time. If you allow the little messes to distract you from your goal of a beautifully decorated home you can become over consumed with the little messes and want to quit. But you have a goal so you push forward clean up those messes and start on the next room, and as you finish that room you turn and find you have left behind many more messes, sometimes the thoughts of decorating for holidays can be an overwhelming task instead of a joyous event. And so the day goes…..As you finish your decorating for the holidays and clean up all the boxes & papers and take them out to storage you realize your project is done. Your reward – a beautiful home for the family to enjoy during the Christmas season.

Well here’s the deal…our lives are like this project. You see God has a plan, a goal for our lives and in the process of working towards that goal, little messes happen around us. A financial storm, the car breaks down, an illness, a broken relationship, sin, problems at work, problems at home, problems at church…ect. But through those little messes that God has allowed to take place, His plan is always in focus. He has a reason for those messes. It takes those messes to create the person He wants us to be. He has a purpose for each and every one. You are walking through a financial mess, a broken heart, death of a loved one, a specific sin (yes He uses those too), ministry hardships, all for His Ultimate Plan. He uses those to build character, strength, patience. He uses those messes because He wants to use you to minister to others that are walking through those same situations. If you have walked through, you have firsthand knowledge and can help others walk through it as well. You see God’s ultimate plan for us will not be completed until the day we stand before Him in heaven. So each struggle you are going through has a purpose! No they are not always joyful to go through. Yes, we all struggle and we wonder when God will rescue us from it. But when we have made it through and yes you will make it through, God is going to get the glory and You will be amazed at how you have come through. In the New Living translation, Isaiah 43:2 says, “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” THROUGH!!! It doesn’t say when you stay in, doesn’t say stuck in, doesn’t say stop in…it says THROUGH!! Catch this, let it sink in and when it has you are gonna wanna shout! You are going to go THROUGH the messes,BUT you will reach the other side, you are NOT STUCK!!! WOO HOO!!! Thank you Jesus!

Focus

2010-09-17T06:49:00.000-07:00

Are you focused? What are you facing today, this week, month, year in your ministry or in your personal lives that has taken your focus off of the author and maker of all things? Oh it's easy to get our focus all messed up. It just takes a few weeds of doubt to get in there and everything becomes an over grown mess. Earlier this week I was out in my garden clearing out some of the weeds. As I was working I began to notice that what looked like a nice bush was actually a weed that was given time to really root and had grown into an over grown mess. It was choking the life out of a cherry tree. A small tree that without help would eventually die. Naturally I went to work cutting away the weed/bush, pruned the cherry tree and we are hoping that it will gain strength before winter comes.

Sometimes that is what happens to us. Our focus is choked out by doubts, worry and darkness. Sometimes we need a reminder to get our focus back on our Lord! I am blessed with many friends and then I have those that are so dear to my heart they are considered family. We recently felt God calling us to another state and decided we could no longer wait to go. So we turned in our resignation and moved ~ no jobs or ministry in place to move to. I have to tell you it is the BIGGEST leap of faith we have taken as a family. During this time my very dear friend Michele has repeatedly sent me a Facebook message of FOCUS! Just to remind me! Many times I needed that word because I wasn't focused and I wasn't looking at Jesus! I was too caught up in the worries of tomorrow, the what ifs... and was having mini panic attacks. Here I am a pastor's wife, children's pastor and yet I was having panic attacks and one simple word like "focus" was all I needed to breathe, relax and remember Jesus was there holding my hand. The Bible tells us to "not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough worries of their own." We took a GIANT leap of faith...in fact I have told many it has felt like we are jumping off the top of Mt Everest without a safety net but once again my friend reminded me, "God will never leave you or forsake you." He will be there to catch you and instead of letting you splatter on the ground He will help you to soar! It hasn't been easy to keep that focus through this walk of mighty faith we have taken but I gotta tell ya to see how things are unfolding and how His hand has been in every step is exciting!

~The Bible describes focus very well in these scriptures~

"Keep looking straight ahead, without turning aside. Know where you are headed, and you will stay on solid ground. Don't make a mistake by turning to the right or the left." Proverbs 4:25-27

Keeping our focus while in ministry is truly a must. When we get our sights and thoughts on things that are not of God the only thing that follows is darkness and everything that entails. We have to keep focused on God, His will, His purpose and His plan for our ministries and even more so for our personal lives. Think of Peter when he climbed out of the boat and started to walk towards Jesus on the water... as soon as he took his focus off of Jesus what happened? We all know the story he began to sink. We as ministers must keep our focus on Jesus, without it our ministries suffer as well as our personal lives. Today I challenge you to do what ever it is to keep your focus on Him. If that means getting up an extra 15-30 mins to have your personal devotional time with the Lord or saying no to lunch with friends so you can take that time to pray and get your focus on what the Lord wants, DO IT!

Oh How He Loves Us

2010-08-10T10:10:00.000-07:00

This challenge is fitting for anyone, whether in vocational ministry or not. But, I'm issuing this in particular to us in full time ministry. How often we call on the aid of the Holy Spirit to speak to us a word to deliver, to show up to heal people in our services, or to give us insight into a particular problem we are counseling someone over. We especially call on His service when someone needs a good old fashioned dose of conviction.We may even call on Him to comfort us as we are dealing with difficult mean people. (Hey...let's be honest. Mean people happen.)

But, how many of us ask the Holy Spirit to do what Romans 5:5 say He was sent into our hearts to do. "And this hope [of salvation] will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." While so much about life and (if we're honest) about ministry can lead to disappointment at times, our hope in Christ will not. And the reason we can be so assured of that is the Holy Spirit filling our hearts with the love that God has for us.

But how often do we dare to ask Him to minister to our hearts with that love?

Our culture radiates this dominating theme: God does not exist. And if He does by some freak chance exist, He is a big cosmic meanie. Heaven knows we need this ministry of the Holy Spirit today as much as any generation ever has. We need Him to shine the love of God abroad in our hearts today just like the first day we were saved.

We need to understand His love for us so we can have peace first and foremost with God. But it also allows us to have peace with ourselves. It then flows from us to others. For if we understand--I mean truly understand and feel--how much He loves us...how can it not flow to the world around us?

So, that's my challenge. Ask the Holy Spirit to let you really feel and understand how much God loves you. It was the life force behind Apostle Paul's ministry. I have a growing sense of hope that it should be ours as well.

In Case You are Tempted to Forget....

2010-06-30T09:19:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think we can read the scripture, but not really read the scripture.

We hurry through familiar passages and miss so much.

I've been practicing taking one verse and doing what I call "hovering" over it: dissecting it word-for-word.

Take a few moments and read this verse veeeery sloooowly. Absorb its encouragement. Breath in its truth.

1 Cor 15:58 (NIV) Therefore, my dear brothers (and sisters), stand firm.

Stand.

Firm.

Let nothing move you. We have the authority and power to not be moved. Is something pushing you around emotionally? Don't let it. Let=allowing or permitting.

Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord... Always. Fully. Give. Not to every desire or expectation of others...but to the work of the Lord. If in doubt of what that looks like, ask the Lord of the work ;)

because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. How can we always, fully give ourselves? Because. Because we know. Know what? That is is never in vain. It's never unprofitable. Never for naught. It may look like the seeds were sown in dry, useless soil. But IN THE LORD, they are never sown in vain. People may not respond the way we had hoped. Circumstances may not have changed like we had hoped. But, IN HIM, they are never in vain. He sees all and He rewards us according to our faithfulness. Not by what we can see with our eyes. God will not be mocked and we will reap what we sow. God gives the increase. We are only to sow. We are to be faithful to Him who called us. He'll take care of the "them".

Don't grow weary girls.

It's gonna be worth it...

Are YOU ready to FIGHT??

2010-05-13T13:10:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt pushed into a corner and there is no way to get out? Ever feel like the walls are closing in on you and you can’t breath? Feel like everything is hitting you at once and there’s no relief? Maybe it’s just a negative thought or attitude that you dwell on. Do you realize at that very moment you are under attack spiritually? You are and the big question is “Are you ready to fight?”

You see, those feelings are not a coincidence! Satan is prowling like a lion, coming to steal, kill and destroy and we as ministers are his top targets. Why? The reasons should be obvious ~ we are the agents of light, Christ’s love and we speak His truth into people’s lives. But even with that being evident, what we often times forget (because we are so busy with ministry and living our lives) is that he wants to destroy us personally not just our ministry. A few weeks ago I was caught off guard and was spiritually attacked. Not by a person but by circumstances. You see I became slack at praying for myself and keeping my ear tuned to God with my personal walk with Him. I was spending time praying for others, studying the Word of God for ministry but not for personal growth. I got caught up in “ministry” and forgot that I need my personal time with the Lord. I know I am NOT the only one that has done this but this experience has reinforced to me that we are indeed under spiritual attack. What I experienced was something I don’t ever want to experience again! It was in the midst of this attack that I realized what was happening and all I could get out was, “Jesus help me!” There is something about the name of Jesus, hmmmm, speak the name Jesus and satan has to flee and I know that night he did.

Ephesians 6:10-18 (Amplified Bible)

10 In conclusion, be strong in the Lord [be empowered through
your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides]. 11 Put on God’s whole armor [the armor of a heavy-armed soldier which God supplies], that you may be able successfully to stand up against [all] the strategies and the deceits of the devil. 12 For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the Heavenly (supernatural) sphere. 13 Therefore put on God’s complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day [of danger], having done all [the crisis demands], to stand [firmly in your place]. 14 Stand therefore [hold your ground], having tightened the belt of truth around your loins and having put on the breastplate of integrity and of moral rectitude and right standing with God, 15 And having shod your feet in preparation [to face the enemy with the [a]firm-footed stability, the promptness, and the readiness [b]produced by the good news] of the Gospel of peace.(A) 16 Lift up over all the covering] shield of [c]saving faith, upon which you can quench all the flaming missiles of the wicked [one]. 17 And take the helmet of salvation and the sword that the Spirit [d]wields, which is the Word of God. 18 Pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, with all prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of all the saints (God’s consecrated people).

I have read these scriptures so many times, have taught on them and yet today when I sat down to study the word they leaped off the page and became like chocolate…just couldn’t get enough! These scriptures tell us to:

*Be strong ~ draw our strength from HIM (seeking HIM is how we draw strength from him)

*Put on the armour of God – that which only He can give us (we have to seek Him for it)
*WAKE UP ~ BE ALERT – our fight is not against what we see (seeking Him to be aware of the evil that’s out there)

*Stand firm -Having done all (other things)….STAND.

So what are all of the “OTHER” things that we are to do when in the midst of a fight? The scriptures tell us exactly what we are to do…

PUT ON…
Belt of Truth – the truth of the scriptures always diminish the lies Satan tries to feed us.

Breast plate of righteousness - a breast plate not only protects the heart from the arrows
of the enemy but this is a breast plate of righteousness…a life of integrity or purity and holiness as to defend us from the assaults (against our character) of Satan.
Cover your feet – To be prepared to move forward in God’s peace despite the turmoil that is around you. His peace passes ALL understanding!
Lift the shield of Faith - The shield of faith will “quench all the fiery darts”. The shield is moveable…it can protect the body from all angles. Our faith sustains us when the battle is fierce and covers all fears!

Helmet of Salvation – Our salvation is completed when we meet Jesus in the air. We must be secure in our belief that Jesus died, arose and is coming again! As followers of Christ we cannot compete with the enemy without this hope and belief. We place our hope and trust in the coming of Christ where we will have the final victory with Christ.

Sword of the Spirit - The word of God in its entirety, all of God’s promises are what we must hold fast to. We must dive into the Word and take in all that we can on a daily basis….daily devotions not for ministry but for our own growth and walk with God.
Praying at all times – Prayer is a just a conversation with God. How else are we to know His voice if we are not spending time in prayer. It doesn’t have to be a set amount at a set time but we do need to be speaking to our Heavenly Father and NOT just for others.

As a reminder:
“For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere.” Eph 6:12