Pastoring Partners Network

The importance of properly vetting an armor bearer

2012-01-12T14:30:00.000-08:00

You saw another pastor or pastor's wife with an armor bearer and became convinced you needed one asap. When you see it working with another leader like it's supposed to, it's so appealing. Really, when it's operating correctly, who wouldn't want this arrangement?

You think of everyone surrounding you who might be suitable for this role, then you select a person and get them in place as soon as possible. You might have even jumped at the chance when someone walked into your church and said, "I just want to share with you that my calling is that of an armor bearer." That was music to your ears, and you thought, "oh my gosh, I can't believe this!! It's just what I've been praying for! God is so good!" You probably even told people that the answer to your prayers had come.

The problem is, they weren't properly vetted. You just saw the load that having an armor bearer lifted from a colleague and you thought, "I need this...immediately." And you pushed forward full steam ahead.

Trust me when I say, and this is no exaggeration, that you need to make sure your armor bearer is vetted more than the candidates for president of the United States. (Isn't kingdom business as important?)

So they aren't tested properly. In time things go awry. It's painful. If you do have the courage to share with other pastors or pastor's wives who have been through it, they give you the advice, "if this doesn't kill you it will make you stronger." They don't have any words to share that make the pain go away fast, but at least you know you're not alone.

It's a scenario repeated countless times by more leaders than even publicly talk about it. The situations are so excruciating some don't even speak of it. They just suffer in silence and swear to God they'll never be in the same position again.

I don't speak of this from some high and lofty place of expertise. I speak as a person who is still alive and stronger for it.

I've also been around long enough to know that sometimes someone is vetted properly and it still goes south! There are no guarantees.

Here's the bottom line...you do need prayer coverage. You need it now. That can't wait. But you can survive without an armor bearer, until one has been fully proven. It is not a requirement to have one, but it is a blessing.

One of the main things about a true intercessor is that if they're real they don't need to know all the details. They can pray without knowing everything, and do it quite effectively. They also don't have to be physically with you to do that. (Meaning, they don't have to be someone in your church.)

Prayer warriors are easier to find than armor bearers. Find an intercessor first. Let an armor bearer come later. Test the intercessor(s) as well. If you find that they are pressing on you for details, you know they aren't one to be entrusted. If someone is really in tune with God and a prayer warrior, "details" are never the important thing to them. They can pray in the spirit and cover it all! (Be very wary of a person who says, "I just need you to tell me more details of what's going on behind the scenes so I can pray for you more effectively." That's a BIG red flag!)

Ask your intercessor(s) to pray for wisdom and discernment. This is a general request but will cover you as you pray about who might be suitable for the role of armor bearer in the future.

Once you feel led of the spirit as to who God might have for you in this role, do a lot of training in the beginning as far as having them read the books Armor Bearer I and II by Terry Nance and In the Spirit of Armor Bearing Earma Brown. Share with them about the biblical model of an armor bearer and test the waters to see if they are in line with that. If you are sensing that they are iffy, just gently back off. No need to get upset or angry or feel defeated. Consider this...what is God protecting you from? Continue praying that God will bring someone who understands biblical armor bearing.

Proceed with care. What's the rush?

If what you saw with another pastor and their armor bearer was real, it was not arrived at overnight and was time tested.

Delay is better than disaster.

Time is your friend when it comes to making a decision.

There is no Golden Corral version of an armor bearer

2012-01-02T18:00:00.000-08:00

Today I'm starting a series on armor bearers. I know there is great material out there about how to be an armor bearer. Many if not most of us have read Terry Nance's Armor Bearer I and II and they are really considered to be the "Bible" of armor bearing books beside the Bible itself. I highly recommend these two books, and one of our PPN writers, Pastor Ronnelle Thomas-Brunswick, recommends In the Spirit of Armorbearing by Earma Brown.

But not a lot if anything is written for the pastor on how to find or select an armor bearer.

I'm asked about this a lot. It seems to be a common concern among pastors and their spouses. I am a fellow traveler on this journey and have had my share of experiences good and bad. While I don't have all the answers, I do know a few things and am going to share them in the next few posts here on PPN. I've invited our writers to share as well.

I began by asking each one of our writers this question: "If you had to boil it down to just ONE WORD that you need MOST from an armor bearer, if you only had to choose the MOST IMPORTANT thing - the TOP quality, what would it be?" Here are the answers I got:

Melissa Kelly: Loyalty
Lisa Alexander: Stability
Jessica Smith: Called
Tara Sloan: Loyalty
Ronnelle Thomas-Brunswick: Consistency
Tracy Peters: Dependability
Leanne Weber: Proactive

I join Melissa and Tara in that my top quality is loyalty.

As we begin this series, one thing I want to point out is that there is no Golden Corral version of an armor bearer. What do I mean by this? At a buffet, people pick and choose what they want. You could go to Golden Corral and eat nothing but fried chicken. You could skip the steak, the potatoes, the salad, the dessert and everything else. You could just eat cheese if you wanted. Some people treat spiritual things like buffets. They pick and choose what they want.

Some people set out to be an armor bearer and think they are going to create the role for themselves rather than follow what the Bible clearly says.

Being an armor bearer is not like being at a buffet. You don't get to pick and choose what you want. A true armor bearer possesses all the essential biblical qualities, not just the ones they feel like having.

A true [emphasis on true] armor bearer doesn't have the choice to decide that they are going to be proactive, but not loyal. They can't wake up and say, "well, today I really feel like being loyal but I don't know about dependable." Well, they CAN, but then they wouldn't really be an armor bearer, so what's the point of that?

Here's what some of our writers had to say in addition:

Lisa says, "I need them to be stable in the faith, stable in their emotions, stable in their personal life. No more doubleminded folk who are unstable in all of their ways."

Melissa says, "Loyalty!!! Is is huge for me as well as Sean. Also trustworthy! Not going to spread gossip as "prayer requests".

Jessica says: "It's not enough to be trained or equipped, they need to have a connection to God and to you...in a way, called to you in the relationship. Nothing is worse than having an armor bearer who is equipped but does not click with your personality or vision."

And finally, Leanne says, "Proactive; anticipating what needs to be done and willing to do it."

In summary on this point, there is a checklist of the biblical qualities for an armor bearer. Most of us pastors are aware of those qualities. (And if you aren't I highly recommend Nance's book which covers them all extensively out of both the Old/New Testaments.)

Our problem comes in that we often bring people alongside us who only possess the qualities of their choice. We take someone who doesn't agree with all of the standards of biblical armor bearing because we don't know what else to do.

When someone says, "I'll give you steak, cheese and dessert, but not potatoes..." we go, "okay, well I guess steak, cheese, and dessert it is..."

I probably don't have to tell any of you reading this what comes next when we do that. If you have been in ministry any length of time you know exactly where that ends up.

I have some thoughts on that to share in the next post.

In Him

2011-11-25T23:18:00.000-08:00

Hello Ladies,

So I have been waiting to write this short note until God released me to do so. When I share, it is out of my own heart, experiences, and relationship with God. So here it is, I lay it out on the line for all of you to read. My first post for the Pastoring Partners network. A special thanks to Pastor Deanna Shrodes!!

So you may have noticed the title of this note is “In Him”. This all started a few weeks ago, while on my way to work in my white mini-van. I have noticed that God speaks to me when I am driving, so its always interesting. So am driving along, minding my own business thinking of my checklist of things to do when I get to the office. “Open door for meeting, order supplies from Sam’s, e-mail clients,….” I had stopped at a stop light, and out of no where this little red beetle lands on my windshield. “Huh, that’s a weird looking bug.” So I speed up after the light changes green, and that little bug hangs on for dear life. I went from 30, to 40, to 50 miles per hour.

The little beetle just hanging out enjoying the ride. “Hey lady, thanks for the ride. I just wanted to rest for a while.” This little guy hung on, as I sped up to 55 miles per hour, he started looking kind of nervous. “What’s going on here? Why is this thing rocking?” The wind starting blowing pretty hard from the North, as a cold front was coming through, and with it dreary rain, fog, and cold. The little bug decided it would continue to push through the rain, wind, and fog. It was then the Holy Spirit said, “Watch.” I did what I was told. The little beetle clung to the window with all six legs, then slowly, five legs, four legs, three legs, then two. The last two legs, it looked like he was clinging to the end of air-plane not wanting to go sky-diving.

All it took was one more gust of wind to whip him into the foggy air. No longer was little beetle apart of my ride to work. It was kind of sad, that moment, my friend leaving in the middle of the storm. The rest of the way, the Holy Spirit spoke to me several things.

First of all, Acts 17:28 states, “For in Him we live, and move, and have our being…” The little beetle was a picture of how I have tried to handle the storms of life. At times its easy to cling to another’s victory or relationship with God, or follow a path that offers some comfort. The little bug clung to what was easy, familiar, and yet it was the most unsafe place for him to be. I was inside my van, safe from the storm, at peace, warm, and knowing where I was going. When we are in Him, even during the storms and struggles we may face, He is in us guiding us, keeping us safe. There were times that Jesus calmed the storm, made a way in the river, and even slept. How much more do we have that same power and peace accessible to us.

Secondly, we have the choice daily to enter into His presence before our journey begins. There is no special formula for this, but just speaking to the Father the thoughts of your heart and mind. Giving Him your day any part of the day not out of obligation, but relationship is key to living in Him, and not in the Storm.

Lastly, 1st Thessalonians 5:18 shares, “Give thanks to God in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” When life’s circumstances do not look how you expect it to be, and God’s Word doesn’t match the facts of your life, it is STILL God’s will for you to be at peace in Him, and to be thankful. This kind of thankfulness is not based out of our own emotions or feelings, but the very fact and truth of WHO God is in your moment. Our joy comes from the Lord, and this Joy (Jesus) is our strength. The joy of the Lord is our strength. So we can thank Him, love Him, live in Him, while He directs our path.

So dear ones, it is my desire for you all to be challenged during this Holiday season to push through the storms, circumstances, and emotions and be in Him, as He is in us..

Blessings,

Jessica Smith

He Never Lets Go!

2011-10-31T08:12:00.000-07:00

Seasons are changing and there are some very beautiful sights to see and the smell of fall is in the air. We are all in different seasons of ministry here on PPN and some of us are walking through some storms, struggles and hurts that are mending others are celebrating victories they are seeing in their ministries. Either way we all need the reassurance that God is with us. Over the weekend the Lord spoke to me about where He is when we are hurting and I shared this on my personal blog but instead of making you have to follow the link I have reposted my post here for you to read. I pray it ministers to your hearts today!

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Yesterday during our worship service we sang “Never Let Go.” Here are a few of the chorus lyrics in case you are not sure what I am talking about…

“Ever faithful, Ever true, You I know You never let go,

You never let go, You never let go, You never let go”

We have sung this song a few times before but this time was different. You see during the weekend a brother in Christ lost his battle with cancer but won the victory over death as he entered through the pearly gates of heaven. While we were singing the Lord was speaking to my heart. In times of great strife, storms, illness, and the death of loved ones we often times question where is God? Why has He left us? Why has He allowed this to happen? Sometimes it’s hard to remember that He is right there with us during those tough times.

You see God NEVER lets us go. Once we accept Him as our Savior He grabs a hold of us and refuses to let go. What the Lord was showing me yesterday is that it is during those times of storms that He holds on to us even tighter. When we are questioning where He is, He is there holding onto us with all of his might. In the case of this dear brother in Christ, the Lord showed me that God was there with him, holding on so tight that when the pain he was in was too much to bare Jesus said, “That’s enough, it’s time to come home,” removing him from the pain and the disease, holding him tightly, never letting him go.

If you are hurting today, struggling with “where are you God” in the midst of your storm know this…

God is there! He hasn’t left your side! He will NEVER let you go, in fact in the midst of your storm He is there holding you tighter than ever before! God’s word promises us, “For the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deut 31:6b

In His Grip,

My Restlessness

2011-10-08T10:54:00.000-07:00

“Our hearts are meant to be connected to the Creator of our souls, when they are not we are restless. Augustine of Hippo said, ‘You have made us for yourself, o Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you’” (p. 25, Beautifully Gifted, Angela Bisignano, 2011).

New Year’s Day we went around the sanctuary of the church, and each one of us pulled a scripture from the “Promise Box”. This was to be your verse for the coming year, and we all committed to pray the verse, and ask God to reveal Himself through it. The verse I pulled was Ex. 33:14, “The LORD replied, ‘My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Five weeks later we were asked to resign.

My verse has been plaguing me ever since. Nothing about this year has been restful—from losing our job and ministry, moving to another county, joining another church, beginning my secular job—everything seems to be another level of pain and despair, not rest with one loss after another. I have felt like my heart has been a constant place of turmoil.

As I began reading Beautifully Gifted, I wondered, “Is this the piece of the puzzle that I’ve been missing?”

Throughout this whole season, I have continued to seek God, worship God and study His Word, albeit in a much different form. My heart has been hurt. I feel embarrassed to say that He has hurt my feelings. I didn’t have any desire to be a Job—I wasn’t looking to have a book written about me, or have my life used in deep theological debates about the love and provision of God toward those who follow Him. But here we are. And even typing those words out seems to be a pompous, conceited thing. Who am I, in the big scheme of Kingdom thinking, to even imagine that I would be considered a Job?

I keep hearing that we give too much credit to the enemy, and that many more times than not, we are not under attack from the Satan, we are reaping the harvest of our own stupidity. While I agree with that thought to a point, but when we are following the commands listed in the Word to tithe, to be merciful, to love and forgive, and everything is still going south, isn’t it safe to think that the enemy has something to do with it?

I have repeatedly asked God to show me what is lurking beneath the surface of my heart. Those things that I am embarrassed to show anyone; frankly, I’m too embarrassed to view them myself. But as each part of what I thought was my life has been stripped away, I have found ugliness hiding in the shadowplaces. Anger, rage, bitterness, fear—all reared their replusive heads as my world began to shake and crumble. With each new issue, some other sinful attitude displayed itself, and I repented as I saw it. How could I have so much still there?

But they just keep coming, one after another. So many issues, so many attitudes and emotions. Then I watched a video of “Wednesdays with Beth Moore” today. She said at one point that everything comes back to faith, and that God cares more about our faith than our righteous acts. Often we are confused about feeling like we are back to Faith 101 class in our lives, but that is because we always come back to faith in our walk with Christ. It is part of the process that God has in place; each level of our relationship with Jesus requires a deeper level of faith. So maybe the feeling of going back to Faith 101 means that we are on the brink of a new level, a new deeper, more intimate relationship with Jesus that demands that our faith be stretched, and our spiritual capacity enlarged.

This gave me hope today. I’ve felt so lost and confused, like I’ve been trying to look through a dirty window caked with mud. I can see shapes and shadows of something out there, but I can’t quite make out what it is. Now I think the point is found in Romans 4:20-22. “Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had the power to do what he had promised. This is why it was credited to him as righteousness.” Beth Moore went on to say that there is always a “yet” when it comes to faith, always an opportunity to doubt. But when we choose to look beyond what we can see with our natural eyes, and focus with eyes of faith, we will not waiver in our belief of God’s promises either.

I’d like to tell you that everything is clear now, and I understand why God is taking us down this path. But that is not true. What is true, however, is that I’m more convinced than ever that God is working His character in our lives, and it is our job to cooperate with Him by choosing to believe in the promises in His word, and not what we see with our eyes. I’m searching for ways to rest in God, so my heart will not be restless.

I’m rewriting Romans 4:20-22 out on another index card, but I’m changing the pronoun from “he” (Abraham) to “she” (Judi). Want to join me in praying these promises this week, and see how God transforms our thoughts?

I’d love to hear how God is teaching you to overcome your own soul restlessness.

In pursuit of zoe,

How do you handle them coming back?

2011-09-26T04:53:00.000-07:00

By a show of hands, how many of you have been hurt or betrayed by family or close trusted friend?

Let me guess, 100 percent of you.

Alright now what do you do when the very one that hurt you is in a position where they need you?

Yesterday at a visiting church the pastor asked us to contemplate that very question.

Follow this link for the complete story and a closing prayer.

Blessings everyone!

Dealing with jealous women in the church (and particularly with Mrs. PW Wanna Be)

2011-09-08T12:29:00.000-07:00

One thing every pastor's wife or woman pastor encounters at some point are jealous women in the church. This is evident by the "fishbowl" or the "glass house" that people often mention that we live in. People watch us and are sometimes envious while also being clueless about the cost of vocational ministry.

Some think they have their jealous spirit well hidden, but it certainly isn't hidden from God and it usually isn't hidden long-term from others. The green-eyed monster has a way of exposing itself. It is amazing what people strive for out of wrong motivations. I have seen people half kill themselves in the church striving for what seemed like very Godly things, however it was all in vain because it was motivated by a jealous heart.

After being burned numerous times, I am careful of who I place closely around me. God has shown me it's important that I be a discerning wife, to help my husband in the same way. Some of the greatest hurts have occurred in discovering that certain women really didn't like me at all as a person -- they were simply jockeying for position. Their reaching out had nothing to do with loving, or serving with me -- it was simply to get to a place where they wanted to be.

Going through these situations in the ministry has caused growth in my spiritual walk. The key is to allow it to shape me instead of break me, and turn me into a vessel that God can use in a greater capacity. I have also gotten glimpses of what a jealous heart "looks like." I have found that even the most seemingly spiritual of people can be dealing with a jealous heart. I myself have dealt with a jealous heart before and had to ask God to forgive me. How we need the discernment of the Holy Spirit as to what our true motives are. The bible says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it?" Jeremiah 17:9

Ecclesiastes 4:4-6 says, "Then I saw that all toil and all skill in work comes from a man's envy of his neighbor. This also is vanity and striving after wind. Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and striving after wind." Many people are chasing the wind. They are striving after things that mean absolutely nothing because the motivation of their hearts are wrong.

Those of us who are pastors' wives find that some people try to get close to us because they are after our husband. Some are actually after them sexually. Others aren't about sex, their hot button is power. They want influence in the church -- they want things their way. If they can't get through to the pastor with their manipulation, they will do the next best thing -- get up close to his wife to try to get their way. If neither of these tactics work, these type of women usually turn on both the pastor and wife and become a nightmare.

Mrs. "PW Wanna Be"

I have met this lady, and apparently many of you have too. Lots of you who email me here on the PPN evidently have her in your church! Let me give you the profile. I call her "Mrs. PW Wanna Be", hereafter referred to as "Mrs. PWWB". She is a woman who probably felt called to vocational ministry and longed to be a pastor's wife herself but ended up marrying somebody else. Her husband may be anything from an executive at a company to a construction worker, but the fact is, she's unhappy. She may have actually been called to be a pastor's wife, but she made a decision out of God's will and is now suffering for it. Such women can take their consequences out on the pastor and wife by trying to actually "be" the pastor's wife while not actually being the pastor's wife.

At a previous church we pastored, we had a Mrs. PWWB, and my husband did not see it for a long time. He thought she was just a talented woman who wanted to do all she could to help the church. Truth be told she was very talented and I recognized that. I had no problem with talented women serving, in fact I welcomed it. But I knew this woman wanted more. She didn't just want to serve, she wanted to BE the pastor's wife. She started requesting closed meetings with my husband. She excluded me wherever possible. She began dressing like me, and exhibited many more behaviors that just threw red flags up all over the place for me. Still my husband didn't "get it". He just thought she was a woman with a lot of talent to bless the church.

Her manipulative behavior went on for a long time and frustrated me until one Sunday morning when her true colors were revealed. I was leading worship and my husband was seated on the front row, with my Bible and purse in the chair next to him. It was our custom that after worship I would come back down to sit by him while another staffer did the announcements and offering. While I was leading worship Mrs. PWWB came up to the front row. Plenty of chairs were available elsewhere, and in fact her husband was sitting in the sanctuary with a chair available next to him. But she didn't want that chair, or just any chair, she wanted mine. She moved my Bible and purse, and sat next to my husband! Larry's eyes were as big as saucers! He was so uncomfortable and just looked at me in amazement. With the way she came and sat by him, if one were a first time guest in the church they would have even assumed she was the pastor's wife! And that's exactly what she wanted. From that day on, he put up his guard with Mrs. PWWB. As you can imagine she didn't like his new boundaries. Things imploded and she did everything she could do to destroy him. (It didn't work, but it was one of the most stressful periods of our ministry.)

Mrs. PWWB is in total misery deep inside. The fact that Jimmy or Bobby works at GM, IBM or as a local policeman is not enough for her. It doesn't matter how successful her husband is at his very respectable job, because this is not the role she wants him to have.

She fantasizes over what it would be like to be you. You will sometimes find her endeavoring to dress like you, do various tasks that you do in the church, and get as up close to your husband as possible. She will come to you and say, "I was in prayer and the Lord told me you have too much on you and I need to take some of these responsibilities." This would be great if it were for the right reasons. You probably are overwhelmed and need someone to help, but unfortunately Mrs. PWWB is not the person for the job.

She will go through a lot of inner turmoil that her husband isn't a pastor. At some point, if Mrs. PWWB's husband is a believer, she has tried to talk him into going to Bible College or pushed him to pursue ministerial credentials of some kind. If he does not follow through with this she will be very frustrated. She believes that for her to get where she wants to be, he needs to do this. Typically, Mrs. PWWB's husband is marginally involved, and he doesn't crave the spotlight like she does. He could take it or leave it. But she lives for it. Remember, that's part of the problem to begin with.

If Mrs. PWWB's husband is not a Christian, she is jealous of you all the more because you have what she currently doesn't-- a Godly man. Some of the greatest critics you may have are those who do not have strong marriages. For whatever reason, these tend to be some of the most critical people in the church. Mrs.PWWB usually has a husband who is generally very laid back and not real leadership material. And she hates you for it. Yes, I know this sounds more like a Lifetime movie than a church situation, but many pastors' wives can tell you this stuff is REAL!

Mrs. PWWB may talk to you about these feelings of wanting to be in full time vocational ministry or she may not. She may open up about her difficult marriage or she may not. She may talk to you about trying to get her husband to go through ministry training or she may not. The nuts and bolts of these situations vary, but one things remains the same -- either way it is equally painful. The bottom line is, you are in a position she wants. Sooner or later it will start to show as she starts to kick up against you. It might be ever so slightly at first, but things escalate. In time, Mrs. PWWB will become your greatest critic and if your husband doesn't respond to her favorably, she will also become his. First she will try to divide you. If that doesn't work, she will come against you both. Incidentally, most "Mrs. PW Wanna Be's" don't go to churches of 500 or 1,000 and try this. They usually show up in a church of 200 or less. The reason for this is because it's harder to get in like she wants to in a larger church, and it takes longer. Smaller churches need more help, and typically struggle to get faithful workers, and Mrs. PWWB is much more attractive as a worker in these smaller settings. These type of women are usually very strong workers in the church, with type "A" personalities, who in the beginning are seen as God's answer to prayer.

Mrs. PWWB has been responsible for many forced resignations of pastors. A male pastor is often fooled by these women because especially in the beginning they do not look like trouble. Most of them masquerade as polished professionals. They are ultra-talented, appear spiritual will burn the midnight oil at the church if this is what it takes to get the job done. They will have gifts that will be greatly utilized by your church, but the only problem is -- it will cost you far more than you want to pay. Most pastors crave workers so much they will often accept an ill motivated Mrs. PWWB just to fill the slots, simply because she can fill a ministry slot and do it quite well. Only she just doesn't want any slot or position -- she wants YOURS. She will never be satisfied with the amount of power and leadership your husband gives her. She will continue the "push" until he releases more. It will often be too late before the pastor realizes, he's simply been eating out of the palm of this woman's hand. Unfortunately he discovers too late that he has been nibbling on poison.

I encourage you to read the story of Korah, Dathan and Abiram in Numbers 16. In this chapter, these three men came against Moses and Aaron and basically said (in verse 3 but I'm using my own paraphrase here)…"who are you guys to set yourself above us? Aren't we anointed? Can't you put us in position to do what you're doing?" Basically these three guys were eaten up with jealousy towards Moses and Aaron. They really didn't care about ministry or changing lives, they just wanted a position. Go on and read the whole chapter and you will see some other very ridiculous statements that these three guys made, again, completely motivated by a jealous heart.

Jealousy is a sin that is completely ruthless when you get right down to it. Look at most murder cases and you will find that they were motivated by a jealous heart. Proverbs 27:4 says, "Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood. But who can stand before jealousy?"

In fact, you will see in scripture that jealousy was the motive for the first murder, in Genesis 4!!! Yes, jealousy is a cruel, cruel thing. "Jealousy is as cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame." Song of Solomon 8:6

We see jealousy with women in scripture too. The story of Rachel and Leah in Genesis 30 shows us some specific things that women deal with. These two sisters were dealing with the bondages of low self esteem and lack of security, as well as intense envy. Rachel declared, "With mighty wrestlings, I have wrestled with my sister." These ladies basically had a cat-fight. A jealous wrestling match! We see through them that jealousy causes women to be driven to possess objects that other women have, to gain their security in their performance instead of being secure in Christ, and to gain security from other people's opinions of them.

It's not just the pastor's wife or woman pastor that women will be jealous of. They are jealous of anyone that God is utilizing in an "up front" way. I have seen women completely eaten up with envy at new or unlikely people that God is using. They think, "why did THEY get the choir solo?" or "Why is the pastor asking THEM to head that ministry?" or "Why is the pastor's son interested in dating that girl and not my daughter? The bible says in Ecclesiastes that there is nothing new under the sun. How true. Even Jesus knew what it was like to be the new and unlikely person that God was using that everybody was jealous of! Pilate had a clue as to why the religious leaders wanted Jesus dead. He said to them, "who do you want me to release? Barabbas or Jesus?" Who did they pick? Barabbas. Scripture makes the reason clear. Matthew 27:17,18 says, "Pilate said to them, who do you want me to release for you? Barabbas or Jesus, who is called the Christ? For he knew that because of envy they had delivered Him up." Now I don't know about you, but I certainly don't want to be aligned with those who chose Barabbas over Jesus! (But that's exactly what people do when they allow a jealous spirit to grip their heart!)

A few things I encourage you to do:

Ask God to show you who you are in Him, and ask Him to do the same with the women of your church.

This means seeing ourselves as God sees us -- no more, but no less either! We are "fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139) and have no reason to envy another. We must rejoice in our uniqueness and the fact that we are His daughters. The sky is the limit, in all our lives. Women in the church need to realize that although they may not be called to be the pastor's wife, or a full time woman minister, they have a valuable place in the Kingdom of God. For Mrs. PWWB, this is a very difficult thing. You will not accomplish it just by loving on her, or teaching her. It will take prayer and fasting for this woman because what is needed is deliverance, not training.

Rejoice in God's blessing on others.

We must rejoice when good things happen for other people, and we must teach our people the same. What we make happen for others, God makes happen for us. The women of our churches need to hear this biblical teaching on regular occasions. Are we teaching our ladies to be happy when other women move into new homes, re-decorate them, buy new cars, have babies, become financially blessed, grow in ministry and influence, etc.? We live in a world where women are eaten up by envy. We need to teach women that instead of being envious, they need to be excited for others who are blessed.

Determine to get to the bottom of any issues of insecurity and fear in your walk with God. Teach the women of your church about this as well.

Recognize that if people have a problem seeing other people blessed,, they own the problem, not the person being blessed. Perhaps we think that God's love is greater for that person because they are receiving a blessing. This is a false belief that we must deal with in your spiritual walk. Psalm 49:16 says, "Do not be afraid when a man becomes rich, when the glory of his house is increased." When we wrestle with this all the time, we need to get a greater glimpse of God's love for us, and develop more security in your relationship with Him. I'm convinced if most people just understood God's everlasting love, their lives would be radically changed just from this one thing being resolved in their lives.

Some of you may say, "Well Deanna, that's great but it seems I'm always the one people are jealous of, not the other way around." I understand that too. When I first started in ministry I was puzzled by jealous people, because it didn't take me long to realize how challenging the ministry is and how much you have to sacrifice. I couldn't believe that women were somehow jealous of me. I thought, "do these people understand how hard my life is at times? Do they not understand what they would be giving up, or the pain they would go through to be in my shoes?" The truth is that many people are jealous of others because they only see the blessings in others' lives, not the sacrifices they have made. Yes, there are advantages to leadership but there are also huge sacrifices that many never see. The fact is, is Mrs. PWWB had your life or mine she'd probably have a nervous breakdown.

Do not shrink back from your calling because of jealous women.

You are a leader, placed by God. If you shrink back, you will not be in position to speak to these issues with authority. Yes, you speak it in love, but you speak it. If you abdicate your position, even if only for a season, somebody (probably Mrs. PWWB) will step up and rise to the occasion. Where there is a gap in leadership, SOMEBODY fills it. If you shrink back in fear, or even exhaustion - she will step up and then it will be even more difficult to get your influence back. You must stand.

Second, don't be led by fear. I know it can be difficult when you are dealing with a power-hungry, manipulative woman. It gets tiring. Besides that she's not the only thing you're dealing with! You have so much on your plate as a pastor's wife! Sometimes you wanna give up and say, "Okay, so you want my life? Here, try it for a while!" BAD IDEA.

Plenty of scenarios probably go through your head of what could happen when you think about confronting them, or correcting them. But you must not be fearful. The Word says that God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind!!! If you are a pastor's wife consider that you and your husband are the church's spiritual parents. Parenting is not easy sometimes, in fact it's flat out difficult. Nobody ever said this role was for wimps. Be loving, but be FIRM.

Third, keep a close watch on your husband. He doesn't always see this type of woman for what she is until it's too late. When Mrs. PWWB showed up there were probably things you really needed her for in the church and your husband was excited about it. It's devastating to him when he realizes the person he thought was such a gift to the ministry is actually dangerous.

The most important thing is to pray your husband through this, and ask the Holy Spirit to show him quickly about women who have these tendencies. Keep good communication, prayer, and a healthy sex life with your husband. Keep the lines of communication open so that he is receptive to that which you discern. A man of God is much more susceptible to these dangerous type of women when the relationship with his wife is not strong in these areas.

We must be women of prayer. This more than anything else is what helps when dealing with jealous women in the church. The Bible says that some things only happen through prayer and fasting. It takes more than just a hug here and there or some lessons on leadership to deal with jealous church women. It takes a woman of faith who will stand in prayer for her husband and church. And, someone who is not afraid to lead once she has heard from God.

Who would do this if I didn't?

2011-09-03T07:03:00.000-07:00

Each Saturday I find myself doing what seems like a million jobs around my house that nobody would even notice...unless I didn't do them anymore for a while. Then certain things would become a real mess! It takes me at least half the day to get all these things done, some days the whole day. But they are mostly unnoticed by anyone else, because I keep up with them and maintain the smooth running of things. Many times on Saturdays I rush around out of breath just to get everything done and meanwhile my kids don't even realize it. They are doing their own thing. Why do I tell you all this? I know you really don't care about my Saturday cleaning routine but I am headed toward making a point here so stay with me!

In the church I find myself doing many things as the partner to the pastor that go undetected by 99.9% of people. These things are behind the scenes, extremely important things, which left unchecked would leave a real void. Because I am doing them on a regular basis, the ship runs more smoothly. No one would be aware of the importance of these things, unless...I did not do them anymore.

Just as we do many things in our home in serving as wife and mother, so we do many things in the church as spiritual mother that affect the welfare of our church and it's precious people. Many people are unaware of these things but it doesn't make the things any less important.

Sometimes it's as simple as having the knowledge of a difficult time in a person's life and dropping a note in the mail to them. It's seeing the person over in the corner at a fellowship and taking time to notice them and give an encouraging word. It's bending down to take a child in your arms who is crying because some other children have excluded them from their group. It's making a phone call to someone you just have a sense needs to hear a word of life. Sometimes it entails taking care of an administrative task for your husband that was left undone by someone else that could really affect the services the next weekend. So, you step in and "save the day" so things will go smoothly, and no one is the wiser that something almost fell through the cracks.

The other day I was thinking about this as I was doing one such task, and the thought came to me, "Who would do this if I wasn't doing it?" The simple answer is: no one. There would be a void...an empty space...something important left undone...or perhaps not ever started in some cases.

Your ministry does make a difference, pastor’s wife. Many things would not be accomplished, and many people would go unreached in your local church, were in not for your caring touch.

If you stopped doing things around your home that needed attention, would someone else rise up and do it? No. A lot of things would just become an incredible mess. (Trust me, I tried it once. Ha!) If you decided to pay no attention to things happening and not love on your kids, or give them any attention, would someone else? (Usually only the wrong people such as drug dealers or the wrong type of boyfriend/girlfriend. That's exactly why a lot of kids get in trouble.) If you suddenly stopped doing the small everyday things that no one may notice, it might not seem a big deal for a day or two, but left long term it could wreck your family. So it is with your church family. Simply put, they need you!

You do fulfill a role that no one else can as the wife to the pastor. The things you are doing are important, whether anyone sees all of it or not. It's not about being "prominent" but it's about being "significant." My liver is not a prominent part of my body. I have never seen it but I'm sure it's not all that attractive. I get queasy about stuff like that, in fact I can't watch those operations on the Discovery Channel, as I get faint just watching a few seconds of them! My son Jordan could watch them for hours. Well, I have never seen my liver and no one else has either. However, although not prominent or displayed it is a very significant part of me that I could not live without. Other things can be missing from the body. But the liver cannot be missing although completely hidden from the public eye. The heart cannot be missing although we never see what it does. I have never seen my heart work, but I know it works. I wouldn't be sitting here typing this to you right now if it didn't work. Just because you cannot always SEE something working doesn't mean it's not incredibly significant.

One of my mentors, June Coker often says, "They won't miss the water til' the well runs dry." Sometimes people don't know what they have until it's gone. It's true that many times we do not appreciate something until we don’t have it anymore. Perhaps you feel that way sometimes - that no one realizes what you do nor appreciates it. I want to tell you that if you weren't doing it anymore, they sure would miss you. More than words could ever express. Many times when we were at our previous church, I realized that many people did not realize all that I gave of myself. Months would go by without so much as a simple “thanks.” I always kept my focus on the fact that I was doing what I did as unto the Lord, not for the thanks of people. But after we were gone, it is amazing the letters, calls and e-mails I receive even up until this day ten years later, with people saying, "Thank you. We never realized…” I have e-mails, notes, cards, etc. from my former church people tacked on my bulletin board in my current office that say, "Only when you were gone did we realize the tremendous void that will never be re-filled..." and... "things will never be the same" and..."thank you for all you did that many times went un-noticed." Sometimes the real thanks only comes after you are not there anymore, and sometimes the thanks will not come until heaven!

I tell you this to encourage you to take heart – they don’t realize, and it’s not intentional. How many times do you tell yourself that until your children get older they will not realize all the sacrifices you made in parenting them? Or just how much you cared? Your kids are absolutely oblivious to how hard you work, how much you do, how many bills you pay, how much you sacrifice so they can have things and do things. They are KIDS. There was a time a few years back that my boys had just left on a ski trip at 5 am with the youth group. They called me three times that morning to tell me of all the fun they are having driving through Georgia, South Carolina, and North Carolina. They were having the time of their life. They were completely oblivious to the stress their father and I went through the day before trying to find them a pair of waterproof winter gloves, here in Central Florida in March. It's was already spring in Florida. The flowers were blooming. Nobody in Florida cared at that moment about skiing. (Except the 15 kids who left on this trip that morning.) My husband went to ten stores looking for just a pair of gloves. He was so stressed out. My boys were oblivious to the fact that their father had to drive all the way back to a special store on the opposite side of town to exchange their snow suits for a bigger size because the boys told him the wrong size on the phone the day before. They were completely clueless as to how much stress it was for me that day to host an evangelist's family of six people who had been with us in a week's revival, then race home for supper, get more things packed for their suitcases, head off to another church where I preached that night, and get back late in time to kiss my little girl good night and finish getting the boys ready for the ski trip. They were oblivious to the fact that their Dad got up at 4am on his day off today to take them to the church to leave on the trip. They are oblivious to all the money we shelled out on this trip and so many other trips in the past and those yet to come. All they knew was that they were having a great time on the church van that day and it was going to be even more fun going down the slopes the next day! They won't realize much of anything their father and I have done for them until they are about thirty and then it will finally dawn on them. (After they have their own kids.) Who knows...they might not even fully realize it until their father and I are...........gone.

Your church people show up to church each week and many times they are oblivious as to what it took to keep the place running all week. All they know is, “yippee! It’s Sunday morning and we are having the time of our life!” They are swaying back and forth to the praise and worship, enjoying the sermon, shedding a few tears at the altar, and going home feeling like a million bucks. They show up week after week and see everything in it's place and ready to roll, completely clueless as to how everything got there. I teasingly say some church people must think a fairy godmother keeps everything going behind the scenes. Well, we're not fairies (thank God), but in a way, we are "God-Mothers."

Ladies, your “church kids” might not realize the stuff you do but that's really inconsequential. I believe just as we Moms are the heart of the home, so us pastors' wives are the “heart” of our church. (Sounds better than the liver of your church so I thought I would use that one...) You play a significant role although many of the things you do are not seen. I play an "up front" role as some of you do, but what most people don't realize is, the time I spend in behind the scenes things still far, far, far outweighs the time I'm in front of people doing something publicly. Sheep will never realize all we do because sheep have a different view. The shepherd stands up on two legs, while the sheep are down on all fours. I don't say this in a demeaning way but to illustrate...a shepherd stands up on two legs and this means they see further down the road. God makes them so they see things the sheep can't see, nor understand. The shepherd lovingly cares for the sheep and many times the sheep are completely clueless of just how much the shepherd does. In fact, their very lives are many times protected by the shepherd and they don't even realize it! Don't get mad if your sheep don't realize what you do. They are just being normal sheep.

Who would do this if you didn't? Nobody. So don't stop.

A Season of Transition

2011-09-01T06:41:00.000-07:00

Transition- passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another ; a movement, development, or evolution from one form, stage, or style to another; an abrupt change in energy state usually accompanied by loss or gain of a single quantum of energy.

How many of you reading this today are in a state of transition from one ministry to the next? Maybe it was by choice and maybe it wasn’t, either way you find yourself in a season of transition and it’s unfamiliar territory. What are you to do? Where do you go from here? What comes next? These are the simple questions people generally have when they enter this season in ministry. Many times it comes swiftly and we are left with no answers and other times it’s a planned change and you have all kinds of ideas of what comes next and yet you still feel lost. In the beginning of transition from being in ministry to not being in “church” ministry is a hard place.

This is a season that my husband and I are in right now, a place of transition, a place of change, a place of healing. At first we both felt like we were in a whirlwind of confusion. I won’t go into why we are in this place but I can say we know God was behind it. The first few months we honestly didn’t know what end was up. We felt lost. Our normal routine of preparing our messages and activities for our services no longer existed. It felt wrong to be relaxing on a Saturday afternoon when normally we would have been at church preparing. Having no pressures or stress of getting the kids up and out of the house on Sunday morning to be at the church hours before services started wasn’t there and we truly felt lost. If you are in this place today, give yourself time to adjust.

Many times we are thrown into transition filled with hurts others have inflicted upon us for whatever reason. Take this time to heal, rest and grow even closer to the Lord. You may have entered into this season kicking and screaming or entered peacefully and excited about what God has in store. Either way make time to rest!

It has been a full year that we stepped down from the church we were pastor’s of and in this year I have learned some very valuable lessons that I hope will encourage you as you walk through this season as well.

#1 – REST, REST, REST!!! Take this time to truly rest in the Lord. When we rest in the Lord He is faithful to refresh our lives and give us a renewed spirit and fight to get back out there and face whatever it is God has called you to do. David even thanks the Lord for his time of rest here in Psalms 23:1-3,

“You, LORD, are my shepherd. I will never be in need. You let me rest in fields of green grass. You lead me to streams of peaceful water, and you refresh my life. You are true to your name, and you lead me along the right paths.”

#2 – Find fellowship! If you have stepped down from pastoring or another type of ministry and are unable to stay in the church you have been in you HAVE TO find another body of believers to fellowship with. Satan wants to pull you away from anything to do with God. Unfortunately many times our season of transition comes from sad events and we entered it filled with hurts. Satan’s goal is to keep you secluded and alone. It is a priority for you to find a place you can worship, be ministered to and find healing. The Lord will lead you to that place where you will find “streams of peaceful water and He will refresh your life!”

#3 – Be open to something new! You may find yourself in this season for longer than you expected or even wanted. Many times it’s our perspective of the situation that is clouding our judgment. David says of the Lord, “You are true to your name, and you lead me along the right paths.” Ps 23:3. Just because you may not be in a “church” ministry does not mean that the Lord cannot use you. I have seen many great men and women of God begin to question their call to ministry during a time of transition. God has called all of us to be ministers of the gospel and like Jesus most of His ministry took place outside of the temple walls. Just because you are not standing behind a pulpit preaching doesn’t mean you cannot be used by God! God can and will use you in the workplace, in your neighborhood, in your community if you are open to being outside the box! Right now my husband and I are in this transition period waiting on the Lord to one day soon open a door to church ministry again. But during this time God has opened the door for both us to minister. He is working in a teen rehab facility working with troubled and at risk teenagers and I am caring for an elderly woman who needs round the clock care. It may not be “church” ministry but we both have seen how God is using us to minister to those we are in charge of.

Let me encourage you if you are in this time of transition to rest and heal, fellowship and be open to what the Lord has for you during this time. God is not through with you I promise you that! We can stand on this promise, “He who began this good work in you, will carry it through to completion on the day of Christ Jesus.” Phil 1:6

Don't Storm Out of the Exam

2011-08-30T09:47:00.000-07:00

If we tell the truth, sometimes we consider throwing in the towel.

Please enjoy this post on not storming out of the exam! Another Place In Him: Don't storm out the exam room!

Blessings!

Stop Belly Aching

2011-08-23T07:46:00.000-07:00

How many times do we find ourselves facing situations that seem impossible and end up on our knees begging God to do something or blaming Him for the situation? Many times as ministers we find those we counsel in these same situations as well. Often times the situations are our own faults because of the choices we have made. This is exactly what Joshua does after the Israelite army runs in fear from the soldiers of Ai.

“Joshua sent about three thousand soldiers to attack Ai. But the men of Ai fought back and chased the Israelite soldiers away from the town gate and down the hill to the stone quarries. Thirty-six Israelite soldiers were killed, and the Israelite army felt discouraged. Joshua and the leaders of Israel tore their clothes and put dirt on their heads to show their sorrow. They lay face down on the ground in front of the sacred chest until sunset. Then Joshua said: Our Lord, did you bring us across the Jordan River just so the Amorites could destroy us? This wouldn't have happened if we had agreed to stay on the other side of the Jordan. I don't even know what to say to you, since Israel's army has turned and run from the enemy. Everyone will think you weren't strong enough to protect your people. Now the Canaanites and everyone else who lives in the land will surround us and wipe us out”. Joshua 7:4-10(CEV)

The LORD answered: Stop lying there on the ground! Get up!

I love how God answers this, just get up and stop complaining! Not exactly what I like to hear when it is me He is talking to but today His answer actually made me laugh. It sounds like something I have said to my children before when they have thrown themselves on the floor and lay there whining and complaining. Has God ever said this to you? He has me and I can tell you when He has I have not liked it one bit! A reprimand from the Lord is NEVER pleasant but if we take what He says and follow His word His blessings will follow us. Later in this chapter we read, “Then the Lord stopped being angry with Israel.”(Jos 7:26) But this did not happen until the Joshua followed the orders that God gave him concerning the situation that had gotten them to this place.
Our Heavenly Father wants only the best for us. It is our decision whether we will follow His plans for our lives and for our ministries. He is just like an earthly Father in that He disciplines us when needed, comforts us and loves us. As ministers and leaders sometimes we have to tell those we are ministering to, “to get up and stop the complaining.” It is our opportunity to pour God’s love and truth into the situations they may be facing. I have seen so many people including myself (just being honest and real here) that have tried to pass the buck onto someone else and usually it is God who gets the blame. You see, “the LORD had said that everything in Jericho belonged to him. But Achan from the Judah tribe took some of the things from Jericho for himself. And so the LORD was angry with the Israelites, because one of them had disobeyed him.” (Josh 7:1) This is the reason that the Lord did not help them win the battle that we just read above…this is why Joshua was belly aching. He was blaming God and yet there was disobedience that took place. He was trying to pass the buck onto God just like people do today.

Sometimes it’s hard to be in leadership, especially when we have to be the one to say “Get up and stop your belly aching” to those who need to hear the truth be spoken into their lives. But before we can do that we must also look inside and examine our own hearts to see if there is anything that God is speaking this same word to us about. Are you in need of a word like this today…“Stop lying there on the ground! GET UP!” What are you laying there complaining about? God has a plan for you and for your ministry - stop complaining and start praying!

Breathe Deep...

2011-03-28T08:42:00.000-07:00

The words to an early 1990s song run through my head like a mantra today.

Breathe deep, breathe deep the breath of God.

So much to do - so much packing, planning, wrapping up, moving forward, money is tight, life is uncertain, time is running out.

Breathe deep, breathe deep the breath of God.

My head throbs with pain, stress-related headaches, earaches, toothaches. The antibiotics and infection are gone, but the pain remains. An hour soaking in the tub; another hour lying on the couch, head back, surrounded by silence, breathing deep. Wondering if I will need to take this amount of time each day just to feel normal?

Breathe deep, breathe deep the breath of God.

Maybe this is not a bad thing. Maybe there is something to "Be still and know that I am God." Maybe He meant it. Maybe He meant it when He said to remember the Sabbath Day, to keep it holy.

Breathe deep, breathe deep the breath of God.

It is like oxygen. It is like cool water on a painful burn. It is more than a luxury; it is a necessity. Today I didn't ask Him for anything. I didn't follow any formulas - no SOAP or ACTS model for me. No chapter a day bookmark, no music softly playing in the background.

I just...breathed.

P.S. This is Leanne - not sure why my blog signature isn't working!!!

When people leave the church

2011-03-14T17:59:00.000-07:00

Have you gone through some of your worst frustrations in ministry due to the situation and aftermath of people leaving the church?

Receive some insight and encouragement from an article of mine on this subject that was published today by the Assemblies of God Women in Ministry Mobilized.

I sat in shock as I read the letter...

2011-01-07T08:28:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I was contacted on Facebook by a pastor’s wife who asked if we could meet for coffee. I have met this lady a couple of times before, but I wouldn’t say we are friends, or even associates; but I know that her oldest child is getting married in a few days, and thought maybe she needed someone to just listen to her vent. I was completely unprepared for what she told me.

She began by asking me to read a letter she had received from her husband just a few days before Christmas. Within the first paragraph, I was angry; by the time I made it through to page six, I was in disbelief. I don’t believe I have ever read a more arrogant, brutal, and twisted use of the Bible to manipulate another believer.

This man of God gave a detailed list of the things he thought she had done wrong over the course of their 30 years together, everything from being impatient with their children, to not attending correctly to his physical needs. He claimed that he could no longer justify being married to a woman who not only could never be his spiritual or emotional helpmate, but now he doubted her very salvation.

He wrote that to anyone who might criticize his decision to end their marriage, he would detail the many years he had suffered in silence as she ignored his various needs, and how he deserved to be happy and fulfilled. He ended the letter by saying that he had been a brilliant example of a Christ-like husband, father and pastor, and what a pity it was that she couldn’t realize what a gift he was.

Anyone else out there saying, WHAT??? Are you kidding? Sadly, he was not. He neglected to mention the years she worked to put him through college and then seminary, the years that she worked fulltime as he pastored small churches and didn’t have a real paycheck, the years when he worked 120+ hours at the church and she raised their children alone. He blamed her for the church not being successful, writing that it is because she was not an example of Godliness that the women of the church could look to as a leader.

She told me that she can be impatient with her children, but she has asked her children to forgive her and asked God to help her to see what is causing her frustration at home. (I chose to not tell her who the source of the frustration really was.) She told me that they have been to several counselors, and she has changed all of the things that her husband told her must change. But he isn’t satisfied, and she doesn’t know what to do.

As I held her hand and desperately prayed that God would guide and temper my response, I was reminded of the parable Jesus tells in Luke 18 of two men coming into the temple, and their totally different responses to God and their own righteousness—their “rightness” before God. The Pharisee stood before God, confident in who he was, and detailed to God all of the things he did to be a holy man. The tax collector on the other hand stood afar, asking God to forgive him for being a sinner. Jesus gives this epitaph of the entire scene, “I tell you that this man, rather than the [Pharisee], went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

I talked to her about personal healing, about allowing the Holy Spirit to heal her broken heart completely, and that no matter what her husband chooses to do, she has to realize who God says she is.

But as I tried to encourage this broken woman of God, God spoke to my heart too. How easy it is as ministry leaders to fall into the trap of self-righteousness, to see ourselves as more together than the ones who come to us for help and guidance. How often do I forget how broken I was when Jesus found me, and how patient and merciful God was as He healed my broken spirit? Do I see myself as more worthy of God’s blessings because I’m a leader of a ministry, or do I remember that it is only because of His grace to I am able to do ANYTHING, let alone lead.

Sisters, if you are trapped in a relationship with a man who emotionally and mentally abuses you like my new friend is, please reach out to other pastor’s wives. Let us minister to you, remind you of your incredible worth to God and the Kingdom, and pray with you for God’s intervention. No one knows the depth of pain you are experiencing like another pastor’s wife.

If you are blessed to be in a marriage with a man who loves you and appreciates your many gifts and talents, take a moment and thank God and your husband. Ministry is a big enough battle—we can’t allow ourselves to be used by the enemy to abuse the one we vowed before God to love.

Marriage is difficult; we don’t always like the one we have committed to. There are seasons to every relationship, but each of us must work at loving each other, and allowing God to continually change us to be more like Christ. But we cannot allow someone else to tell us what that change should look like. God wants us to see ourselves through His eyes, not anyone else’s eyes.

Be encouraged, dear sister! No matter what your struggle is today, no matter how deep the wound in your heart, please know that you are seen and understood (Ps. 139), and you are dearly loved (1 John 4:7-12, 16). “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the Gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 1:3-6)

Christmas Messes

2010-11-16T09:19:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago God really ministered to me through a story a friend shared about her adventures of decorating for Christmas, yes her home has been decorated for Christmas since Nov 5th, which totally amazes me. Anyway she shared with a group of us women what God showed her during that time and while she was sharing God showed me some more things that I would like to expand on here. So a little story and then what God has showed me through the story and through my friend.

It’s Christmas and you have planned to decorate your home to the fullest. Out in the garage where you have stored all of your decorations sits many, many, boxes to bring in. There are many boxes, from ornaments, the trees, to candles and lights to get out. The task seems unending and at times overwhelming but you have set in motion a plan and purpose for each ornament. You have a plan, a goal…a picture of how you want your home to look. So you bring in the boxes and already the room seems over filled with projects and you haven’t even started. Opening the first box you begin to decorate the first room. The first tree is ready to decorate and there are ornaments to unwrap, small boxes & paper scattered everywhere, a pile of messes here and there, throughout the house. As you are putting on the last ornament of that tree and think, ahhh this area is done, you turn around and what do you find, little messes, more work. You think to yourself I am never going to get done on time. If you allow the little messes to distract you from your goal of a beautifully decorated home you can become over consumed with the little messes and want to quit. But you have a goal so you push forward clean up those messes and start on the next room, and as you finish that room you turn and find you have left behind many more messes, sometimes the thoughts of decorating for holidays can be an overwhelming task instead of a joyous event. And so the day goes…..As you finish your decorating for the holidays and clean up all the boxes & papers and take them out to storage you realize your project is done. Your reward – a beautiful home for the family to enjoy during the Christmas season.

Well here’s the deal…our lives are like this project. You see God has a plan, a goal for our lives and in the process of working towards that goal, little messes happen around us. A financial storm, the car breaks down, an illness, a broken relationship, sin, problems at work, problems at home, problems at church…ect. But through those little messes that God has allowed to take place, His plan is always in focus. He has a reason for those messes. It takes those messes to create the person He wants us to be. He has a purpose for each and every one. You are walking through a financial mess, a broken heart, death of a loved one, a specific sin (yes He uses those too), ministry hardships, all for His Ultimate Plan. He uses those to build character, strength, patience. He uses those messes because He wants to use you to minister to others that are walking through those same situations. If you have walked through, you have firsthand knowledge and can help others walk through it as well. You see God’s ultimate plan for us will not be completed until the day we stand before Him in heaven. So each struggle you are going through has a purpose! No they are not always joyful to go through. Yes, we all struggle and we wonder when God will rescue us from it. But when we have made it through and yes you will make it through, God is going to get the glory and You will be amazed at how you have come through. In the New Living translation, Isaiah 43:2 says, “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” THROUGH!!! It doesn’t say when you stay in, doesn’t say stuck in, doesn’t say stop in…it says THROUGH!! Catch this, let it sink in and when it has you are gonna wanna shout! You are going to go THROUGH the messes,BUT you will reach the other side, you are NOT STUCK!!! WOO HOO!!! Thank you Jesus!

Garage Sale Mobile - Ladies & Children Fri-Sat 11/12&13 Consignment Sale Two Days Only!!! - $1 (Dallas, Hiram, Douglasville, Kennesaw) - 620 Paulding Plaza (Next to Sports-a-rama), Dallas, GA 30132

2010-11-07T16:44:00.000-08:00

Garage Sale Mobile - Ladies & Children Fri-Sat 11/12&13 Consignment Sale Two Days Only!!! - $1 (Dallas, Hiram, Douglasville, Kennesaw) - 620 Paulding Plaza (Next to Sports-a-rama), Dallas, GA 30132

Focus

2010-09-17T06:49:00.000-07:00

Are you focused? What are you facing today, this week, month, year in your ministry or in your personal lives that has taken your focus off of the author and maker of all things? Oh it's easy to get our focus all messed up. It just takes a few weeds of doubt to get in there and everything becomes an over grown mess. Earlier this week I was out in my garden clearing out some of the weeds. As I was working I began to notice that what looked like a nice bush was actually a weed that was given time to really root and had grown into an over grown mess. It was choking the life out of a cherry tree. A small tree that without help would eventually die. Naturally I went to work cutting away the weed/bush, pruned the cherry tree and we are hoping that it will gain strength before winter comes.
Sometimes that is what happens to us. Our focus is choked out by doubts, worry and darkness. Sometimes we need a reminder to get our focus back on our Lord! I am blessed with many friends and then I have those that are so dear to my heart they are considered family. We recently felt God calling us to another state and decided we could no longer wait to go. So we turned in our resignation and moved ~ no jobs or ministry in place to move to. I have to tell you it is the BIGGEST leap of faith we have taken as a family. During this time my very dear friend Michele has repeatedly sent me a Facebook message of FOCUS! Just to remind me! Many times I needed that word because I wasn't focused and I wasn't looking at Jesus! I was too caught up in the worries of tomorrow, the what ifs... and was having mini panic attacks. Here I am a pastor's wife, children's pastor and yet I was having panic attacks and one simple word like "focus" was all I needed to breathe, relax and remember Jesus was there holding my hand. The Bible tells us to "not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough worries of their own." We took a GIANT leap of faith...in fact I have told many it has felt like we are jumping off the top of Mt Everest without a safety net but once again my friend reminded me, "God will never leave you or forsake you." He will be there to catch you and instead of letting you splatter on the ground He will help you to soar! It hasn't been easy to keep that focus through this walk of mighty faith we have taken but I gotta tell ya to see how things are unfolding and how His hand has been in every step is exciting!

~The Bible describes focus very well in these scriptures~

"Keep looking straight ahead, without turning aside. Know where you are headed, and you will stay on solid ground. Don't make a mistake by turning to the right or the left." Proverbs 4:25-27

Keeping our focus while in ministry is truly a must. When we get our sights and thoughts on things that are not of God the only thing that follows is darkness and everything that entails. We have to keep focused on God, His will, His purpose and His plan for our ministries and even more so for our personal lives. Think of Peter when he climbed out of the boat and started to walk towards Jesus on the water... as soon as he took his focus off of Jesus what happened? We all know the story he began to sink. We as ministers must keep our focus on Jesus, without it our ministries suffer as well as our personal lives. Today I challenge you to do what ever it is to keep your focus on Him. If that means getting up an extra 15-30 mins to have your personal devotional time with the Lord or saying no to lunch with friends so you can take that time to pray and get your focus on what the Lord wants, DO IT!

Oh How He Loves Us

2010-08-10T10:10:00.000-07:00

This challenge is fitting for anyone, whether in vocational ministry or not. But, I'm issuing this in particular to us in full time ministry. How often we call on the aid of the Holy Spirit to speak to us a word to deliver, to show up to heal people in our services, or to give us insight into a particular problem we are counseling someone over. We especially call on His service when someone needs a good old fashioned dose of conviction.We may even call on Him to comfort us as we are dealing with difficult mean people. (Hey...let's be honest. Mean people happen.)

But, how many of us ask the Holy Spirit to do what Romans 5:5 say He was sent into our hearts to do. "And this hope [of salvation] will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." While so much about life and (if we're honest) about ministry can lead to disappointment at times, our hope in Christ will not. And the reason we can be so assured of that is the Holy Spirit filling our hearts with the love that God has for us.

But how often do we dare to ask Him to minister to our hearts with that love?

Our culture radiates this dominating theme: God does not exist. And if He does by some freak chance exist, He is a big cosmic meanie. Heaven knows we need this ministry of the Holy Spirit today as much as any generation ever has. We need Him to shine the love of God abroad in our hearts today just like the first day we were saved.

We need to understand His love for us so we can have peace first and foremost with God. But it also allows us to have peace with ourselves. It then flows from us to others. For if we understand--I mean truly understand and feel--how much He loves us...how can it not flow to the world around us?

So, that's my challenge. Ask the Holy Spirit to let you really feel and understand how much God loves you. It was the life force behind Apostle Paul's ministry. I have a growing sense of hope that it should be ours as well.

In Case You are Tempted to Forget....

2010-06-30T09:19:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think we can read the scripture, but not really read the scripture.

We hurry through familiar passages and miss so much.

I've been practicing taking one verse and doing what I call "hovering" over it: dissecting it word-for-word.

Take a few moments and read this verse veeeery sloooowly. Absorb its encouragement. Breath in its truth.

1 Cor 15:58 (NIV) Therefore, my dear brothers (and sisters), stand firm.

Stand.

Firm.

Let nothing move you. We have the authority and power to not be moved. Is something pushing you around emotionally? Don't let it. Let=allowing or permitting.

Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord... Always. Fully. Give. Not to every desire or expectation of others...but to the work of the Lord. If in doubt of what that looks like, ask the Lord of the work ;)

because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. How can we always, fully give ourselves? Because. Because we know. Know what? That is is never in vain. It's never unprofitable. Never for naught. It may look like the seeds were sown in dry, useless soil. But IN THE LORD, they are never sown in vain. People may not respond the way we had hoped. Circumstances may not have changed like we had hoped. But, IN HIM, they are never in vain. He sees all and He rewards us according to our faithfulness. Not by what we can see with our eyes. God will not be mocked and we will reap what we sow. God gives the increase. We are only to sow. We are to be faithful to Him who called us. He'll take care of the "them".

Don't grow weary girls.

It's gonna be worth it...

Are YOU ready to FIGHT??

2010-05-13T13:10:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt pushed into a corner and there is no way to get out? Ever feel like the walls are closing in on you and you can’t breath? Feel like everything is hitting you at once and there’s no relief? Maybe it’s just a negative thought or attitude that you dwell on. Do you realize at that very moment you are under attack spiritually? You are and the big question is “Are you ready to fight?”
You see, those feelings are not a coincidence! Satan is prowling like a lion, coming to steal, kill and destroy and we as ministers are his top targets. Why? The reasons should be obvious ~ we are the agents of light, Christ’s love and we speak His truth into people’s lives. But even with that being evident, what we often times forget (because we are so busy with ministry and living our lives) is that he wants to destroy us personally not just our ministry. A few weeks ago I was caught off guard and was spiritually attacked. Not by a person but by circumstances. You see I became slack at praying for myself and keeping my ear tuned to God with my personal walk with Him. I was spending time praying for others, studying the Word of God for ministry but not for personal growth. I got caught up in “ministry” and forgot that I need my personal time with the Lord. I know I am NOT the only one that has done this but this experience has reinforced to me that we are indeed under spiritual attack. What I experienced was something I don’t ever want to experience again! It was in the midst of this attack that I realized what was happening and all I could get out was, “Jesus help me!” There is something about the name of Jesus, hmmmm, speak the name Jesus and satan has to flee and I know that night he did.

Ephesians 6:10-18 (Amplified Bible)

10 In conclusion, be strong in the Lord [be empowered through
your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides]. 11 Put on God’s whole armor [the armor of a heavy-armed soldier which God supplies], that you may be able successfully to stand up against [all] the strategies and the deceits of the devil. 12 For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the Heavenly (supernatural) sphere. 13 Therefore put on God’s complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day [of danger], having done all [the crisis demands], to stand [firmly in your place]. 14 Stand therefore [hold your ground], having tightened the belt of truth around your loins and having put on the breastplate of integrity and of moral rectitude and right standing with God, 15 And having shod your feet in preparation [to face the enemy with the [a]firm-footed stability, the promptness, and the readiness [b]produced by the good news] of the Gospel of peace.(A) 16 Lift up over all the covering] shield of [c]saving faith, upon which you can quench all the flaming missiles of the wicked [one]. 17 And take the helmet of salvation and the sword that the Spirit [d]wields, which is the Word of God. 18 Pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, with all prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of all the saints (God’s consecrated people).
I have read these scriptures so many times, have taught on them and yet today when I sat down to study the word they leaped off the page and became like chocolate…just couldn’t get enough! These scriptures tell us to:

*Be strong ~ draw our strength from HIM (seeking HIM is how we draw strength from him)
*Put on the armour of God – that which only He can give us (we have to seek Him for it)
*WAKE UP ~ BE ALERT – our fight is not against what we see (seeking Him to be aware of the evil that’s out there)
*Stand firm -Having done all (other things)….STAND.

So what are all of the “OTHER” things that we are to do when in the midst of a fight? The scriptures tell us exactly what we are to do…
PUT ON…
Belt of Truth – the truth of the scriptures always diminish the lies Satan tries to feed us.

Breast plate of righteousness - a breast plate not only protects the heart from the arrows
of the enemy but this is a breast plate of righteousness…a life of integrity or purity and holiness as to defend us from the assaults (against our character) of Satan.

Cover your feet – To be prepared to move forward in God’s peace despite the turmoil that is around you. His peace passes ALL understanding!

Lift the shield of Faith - The shield of faith will “quench all the fiery darts”. The shield is moveable…it can protect the body from all angles. Our faith sustains us when the battle is fierce and covers all fears!

Helmet of Salvation – Our salvation is completed when we meet Jesus in the air. We must be secure in our belief that Jesus died, arose and is coming again! As followers of Christ we cannot compete with the enemy without this hope and belief. We place our hope and trust in the coming of Christ where we will have the final victory with Christ.

Sword of the Spirit - The word of God in its entirety, all of God’s promises are what we must hold fast to. We must dive into the Word and take in all that we can on a daily basis….daily devotions not for ministry but for our own growth and walk with God.

Praying at all times – Prayer is a just a conversation with God. How else are we to know His voice if we are not spending time in prayer. It doesn’t have to be a set amount at a set time but we do need to be speaking to our Heavenly Father and NOT just for others.

As a reminder:
“For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere.” Eph 6:12

There is hope!

2010-03-11T08:18:00.000-08:00

When I was in the middle of a particularly bad situation, I scoured the Internet looking for something like this...something that would tell me I wasn't alone - that there is hope, and that things will get better. Now that I am working my way to the other side of that pain, I realized that I can be that "someone" for another person. So whatever you Googled out of desperation that brought you here, I hope you will be encouraged. And please feel free to contact me if you want to talk more.

Before I was 28 years old, I had never had a migraine headache.

Okay, I take that back. I had one. That was the day I decided to give up caffeine cold turkey [and at the time, I was consuming most of my liquids in caffeinated form]. Silly girl.

But other than that unfortunate day, my headaches were by and large annoyances that were easily controlled and kept at bay by Tylenol. Not that I was normally afflicted by headaches – I had about as many as your average person, usually during allergy season.

All that changed when I was going through a very stressful situation at my last church. I’m not going to rehash all that happened – those of you who have been following my life for awhile know the jist. Suffice it to say that I all of a sudden started to get major migraine headaches. We’re talking “hurts to move; break out into sobs because I hear the dog running across the floor and the sound of her nails clacking against the hardwood floors was too much; and then crying because it hurt my head to cry” kind of pain.

I am not one of those people who labels every headache a migraine [I have no patience for people who do that!] – so when I say it’s that bad, it’s bad.

And I started to notice a correlation between stressful situations and migraines. They came more frequently as my time at that church was ending. My last night there was a Wednesday night. I woke up that Thursday morning completely elated that I no longer had to deal with that den of dysfunction, but by that afternoon, exhaustion engulfed me. It was like the recovery period from a thousand migraines…the tiredness minus the pain…all hit me at once. I came home from work and slept. I woke up, ate, took the dog out, and slept some more. I woke up briefly and went back to sleep. It was at that point that I realized just how damaged I was.

A few months after moving, I ran into some old friends from that church, who said, “Wow – you don’t have dark circles under your eyes anymore!” When I smiled, my whole face smiled again – not just my lips. And…no more migraines.

What’s weird, though, is that they’ve started again. I had another nasty one this morning. And I realized that they always seem to come after something stupid has happened. Now…my current church is nothing like my last one. In any way, shape, or form. I am supported here. I am loved and respected. But people are still people, and, as such, they are not perfect.

I am starting to think that my body’s “fight or flight” response is starting to kick in – just like a body that is going into starvation mode when it doesn’t get enough calories, it doesn’t know that things aren’t really that bad. All it feels is me starting to tense up and get stressed out [even if it's minor!]. And it triggers something.

On the plus side, I haven’t experienced a panic attack in quite awhile. That was another fun physical manifestation of the stress I was under before. I can also stomach actual foods – not just coffee and Diet Pepsi, which is pretty much what I subsisted on for the entire summer of 2005 – my stomach was that tied in knots.

When I start to despair and wonder if my therapy is actually doing any good, I look at myself and see how far I’ve come. Besides the fact that when I smile, I am really smiling, I haven’t bought concealer [to hide the dark circles] in almost four years. I may have put on some weight – we’ve been hitting the junk food a little too hard in our house lately - but I have no problem eating actual meals now.

I may stress out too much and worry over insignificant things, but not to the point of having a panic attack. When I am upset because of an issue at church [to my fellow ministry people - that NEVER happens, does it?], I vent my frustrations – sometimes yell and scream, but I haven’t curled up in a ball, paralyzed by fear and frustration – or the other extreme, gotten violently angry to the point of screaming and throwing things across the room.

This is probably the most honest I have been on this blog about the “me” I became during that time in my life. It really was that bad. To me, it was normal. That was the way ministry was supposed to be, because I hadn’t known any different.

It comes to mind today because, just as the Advil Migraine was kicking in this morning, I read a friend’s Facebook comment asking people to pray for her because she and her husband are under attack in their ministry, and just want to make sure they’re staying in God’s will. I replied back to her [she knows a little bit of what my husband and I went through, but not nearly all of it], “Spiritual abuse is NEVER God’s will. I always used to wish that someone outside my situation would tell me to get the heck out, so I am going to be that person for you today. Get the heck out!”

Just by saying that, I realized how far I have come in four years. Even though I feel like I will never be healed and that I still have so far to go, I know that I have made progress. My wings are still sore, but they’re not broken. I can even fly a little bit!

As my mom would sing [I don't know where she learned this, but it's a stinkin' awesome song!], “We’re all messed up, but that’s okay – Jesus is gonna heal us anyway!”

Selah and amen.

Won't Fall For It Again!

2010-01-09T04:55:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you but it's highly frustrating to fall into the same trap more than once. To be "blindsided" and get knocked off your course by something or someone who has successfully done it before is infuriating. What's the old saying, "Bite me once shame on you, bite me again shame on me!"

The teachers of the law asked Jesus to show them a sign. Jesus rebuked them and said you know how to read the signs in the sky...if the sky is red you say the weather will be bad. He asked them how can you read these signs and still not discern the times? (Matthew 16)

It took a minute or two but I've been through enough where I can see patterns in my life and in the life of the ministry. So now I can time such occurrences by a clock if you will. When ABC happens, as sure as the sky is blue, XYZ follows. But what was different this time was my response to XYZ.

I simply won't fall for it again.

When it happened, I knew immediately what to do...keep doing what I was doing. XYZ wanted to slow down the work, cause division, and shift my focus. Not going to happen. It makes me chuckle now and my beloved was so proud of me. When I told him what happened and my response, he gave me a high five...LOL! We are not ignorant of the enemy's devices!

God has given us Holy Spirit to lead and guide us into all truth and if we watch and pray and learn from past mistakes, there's no need to trip over the same OLD stuff.

So in this New Year, here's to recognizing patterns and not falling into the same old traps in the same old places.

Many blessings,

Please welcome... PPN Writer Judi Cotignola

2010-01-06T07:03:00.000-08:00

What an awesome place of wisdom you have found on this website!

I have been in “the ministry” my whole life. My great-grandmother was a preacher, my grandfather was a preacher, and my father was a preacher. I truly do not know any other life. I have always been involved in some kind of teaching ministry, but in 2005, I was asked to preach on a Sunday morning. I was terrified, but God gave me the message to speak, and the ability to speak it with confidence. And I was hooked. I had found the outlet I had been looking for. For the first time, I felt like I was doing what God called me to do.

Soon after that, I began preaching on a regular basis, and people came to the services, but they began asking me questions about why I thought I “should be allowed” to preach all of a sudden. They started sending me emails about women in the pulpit, and wanting to debate Paul’s instruction to not allowed women to teach men.

I was floored. (Gobsmacked would be a true definition.) If people were receiving the Word, and lives were being changed by God’s power, why was my gender the only thing we were discussing? Was I trying to push my own agenda?

In July 2007 I received a manila envelope in the mail. When I opened the envelope, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit, and I knew then that whatever was in the envelope was going to change my life. I was right—it was the invitation to the 2007 Unstoppable Conference.

At the conference I met Deanna and Tara, and many other women who spoke my language. I realized that I wasn’t alone in my struggles. I wasn’t being rebellious or difficult by feeling that I was called to preach—I was following my calling. I heard other women verbalize the things I had been pondering in my heart.
God touched and healed me that weekend. I still had more heartbreaks to follow, but God opened my eyes to a world of ministry that I thought was beyond my grasp. And to other women who wanted to be the voice of encouragement to me and others.

At the conference, Deanna told us about the website, and encouraged us to make contact with other pastors, and share ideas. It has been a great source of wisdom for me, and I pray that it will be for you too.

As my husband and I raise our three girls, my mantra to them is: Don’t limit what God can do with your life! Follow every dream He gives you—no matter what the others around think or say about it! Don’t set you’re your speed by the herd. God knows the plans He has for you (Jer. 29:11), and He most likely hasn’t shared that with your neighbors yet.

God has great things in store for those who trust Him and His promises, and keep moving forward. But don’t just determine to survive; allow God to make you an example of a woman who thrives and blossoms!

God bless you!

How do you think God sees you?

2010-01-05T21:09:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, God sent us a retired pastor and his wife to be a part of our congregation. He has been a source of consistent blessing to my husband and me, and has spoken the voice of God to us often. One Sunday after I finished preaching, I was walking through the hallway of the church, and overheard him and another man talking. Just as I turned the corner, the other man said something, questioning my ability to be called to preach because of my sex. My friend replied, “You know what? I asked the Lord about that, and He said, ‘Pastor Judi is a woman?! Wow! I was so busy anointing her to preach and teach that I must have forgotten to check that first.’”

Well, needless to say, I laughed out loud, but that simple statement helped me so much. I took me a long time to stop caring more about what others thought of me than what God thinks of me. And I’ve learned that there will always be someone ready and willing to list the reasons why you are incapable of doing what God has called you to do. DON’T LISTEN!!! God isn’t the one who puts limitations on us—man (or woman) is! God isn’t taken by surprise by our femininity; He created us to be the captivating, passionate, glorious example of the beauty of God. This isn’t a liability--this is a benefit and responsibility. We are the givers and nurturers of life, in our homes, our churches, our workplaces, and anywhere else God puts us.

And this is a place for you to receive the tools and encouragement to nurture the life around you. In a world that seems to delight in discouraging and draining the very life blood from us, these women of God will lift you up, encourage and challenge you.

I'm thrilled to be a part of this ministry!

May you be blessed,

I am the leader the devil warned you about!

2010-01-05T06:39:00.000-08:00

Listen up folks wrapped in religiosity...

get it straight glass ceiling polishers...

hear me loud and clear all who are culturally bound but not biblically sound...

I am the leader the devil warned you about!!!

No amount of misunderstanding can discourage me to the point of giving up.

No plethora of prejudicial statements can silence me.

No abundance of political maneuvering can sway or dillusion me to the point of quitting .

You didn't call me, so you can't disqualify me.

You didn't die for me, therefore I don't live for you.

In Him I live and move and have my being.
From Him flows all the power that I need to flow in this holy calling.

He saved me, justified me, sanctified me and it's He that empowers me, not a document, not a card, not a public statement of affirmation.

The fact that I'm ordained by God should absolutely scare the crap out of you!

I'm the devil's worst nightmare because I can't be talked out or pushed out, and no amount of criticism would ever be enough to deter me from making it to the finish line.

They say that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Actually trying to kill me won't even work, because if I'm physically dead I'll receive my glorified body which will make me stronger than I've ever been. The fact is you can do absolutely NOTHING to stop me. That's right, I am UNSTOPPABLE. There's nothing you can do to cause me to lose. I've made my decision, made my choice to walk in my calling. No demon in hell can stop me. I'm a winner, and I will not only survive, I will thrive. When God opens a door, that means we don't have to stand there holding it open because what God opens, no man or woman can shut!

If you gossip about me, it just makes me realize how newsworthy what God is doing in and through me is.

If you criticize me it just shows me how much I'm getting done! (Elbert Hubbard once said to avoid critism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.")

If you try to marginalize me it just gives me greater space -- more room to create what God is calling me to do!

Seriously now, I would tell you to quit while you're ahead but you're not ahead, so just quit so that you don't keep exhausting yourself in trying to stop me while getting no results. I am the leader the devil has warned you about, so my advice to you is to accept the facts as soon as possible.

Stabilize in 2010!

2010-01-01T23:59:00.000-08:00

It's Never for Nothing!

How many of us could say that 2009 was a challenging year? Well, I have good news for you! It was all with purpose. Every tear, broken and barren place, every struggle, every bit of confusion with the craziness it brought has not been for nothing!

You see, there has been a shift in the body of Christ. The word “shift” means “ to exchange for or replace by another”, “ to change the place, position, or direction 2009 has indeed been a year of shifting, we have seen it in the natural, we have seen it in the spiritual. Spiritual shifts when orchestrated by the Lord are great but will stretch us! Shifting in the natural whether it be for our good or bad, is difficult!

Some natural "shifts" we may have endured could have been a move, illness, death, birth, job change or loss, relationship challenge, depression, etc. Regardless of the shift, a challenge generally accompanies it!

When a shift happens in the natural, it is uncomfortable, it makes us uneasy, reluctant. When a shift occurs in the Spirit realm, there may seem to be confusion and craziness going on. It is easy to get knocked off track because we focus on the confusion and the uneasiness instead of His voice.

Concentrate on His Voice

I was listening to Beni Johnson share about transition once when she shared an experience that will put this into perspective. Her daughter, Leah was giving birth to her second child. Beni was her birthing coach. Beni and Leah had developed an awesome rhythm that was working beautifully. Leah was giving birth naturally with no epidural, no meds. (Wow!) As Leah was in the middle of the shift that the "transition phase" brings, someone bounded into the room and was speaking loudly. Beni quickly silenced them. Soon after Leah delivered her baby. Beni asked Leah if the person who had bounded into the room had bothered her or caused her to lose focus. Leah responded, "No Mom. I was so focused on YOUR voice and YOUR eyes that nothing could have interrupted what we were concentrating on."

I found that experience to be so revelation-al. Choosing NOT to respond to distractions generally will not prolong our arrival to our destination. Our response to the challenges, to the shift will usually indicate how long we may be floundering.

We have to be grounded, founded, stabilized in Him meaning our spirit man must learn to rely on His voice… He will guide us, He won’t lead us wrong.Times of shifting force us to find out some things about ourselves.
How strong is our spiritual core? How well do we know what God’s Word says about us? Are we able to deflect the words of the enemy during shifting when they’re spoken?

We need to know what God says—down deep. “We’re never going to be effective in the Kingdom, if our hearts are callused and clogged with confusion, unforgiveness, shame, anger and fear ."

In other words, if our hearts are going to beat for what God’s heart beats for, we need to be stabilized in Him, awakened with a passion that stirs our heart’s desire. Our heart is where our passion is. And when we’re healed and God’s in us, His love will flow out of us. No one has to make you do what you’re passionate about. You’ll just be passionate about loving people, because that’s what God’s about.

"Daddy God Never Changes!"

I heard Christine Caine share how her daughter was approached by a bully who had no idea who he was dealing with. He came up to her and said, ‘Suzy, you’re dumb and ugly.’ Well, she looked him straight in the eye and said, ‘That’s not true. My daddy says I’m intelligent and beautiful.’ She was able to fight back because she knew what her daddy told her.

How well do w kenow what God says about us?” When life is crazy, when we are full of doubt, when we are unwavering, when we are clueless… HIS THOUGHTS, HIS WORDS REMAIN!!!

Don’t listen to the world's “facts” of your life or your ministry! The report of the Lord is clear when it tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that He knows the plans He has for us, plans for GOOD and NOT EVIL… plans to give a HOPE and a FUTURE! You’re shift is taking you into a new beginning. You’re going out of 2009 with liberty, faith, hope and trusting in God’s Word.”

Stabilize!

People lose hope because they lack stability in their faith. What do we do in 2010 to make all of my shifting and suffering and pain in 2009 count for something? The Lord spoke a clear word to me: “STABILIZE. Stabilize in 2010. Set your heart to trust God in everything, at all times.”

To “set” our faith means to “stabilize, make unshakable, set down roots, put pillars underneath, lay a foundation.” Scripture says it is within our power to do this. James writes,

“He that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord” (James 1:6-7). MESSAGE

In this passage, the Lord lays the whole responsibility on the believer. God is telling us, in essence, “When the world looks at my people in these days of trembling and anxiety, these days of SHIFTING, they have to be able to see faith. While everything is shaking, faith is what must remain solid, stable, and unshakable. So, you, believer, anchor your faith. You. Take a fixed position. And never give up that position.” Stabilize!

According to Websters to make “stable” means to be “marked by the ability to withstand stress without structural damage or distortion.” To stabilize… to make stable, steadfast, or firm…

The world doesn’t need more sermons on “holding on.” They need to see the life of a man and/or a woman who’s living out their faith before the world. They need to see servants of God go through the same calamities they’re facing and not be shaken by them.

SO, we need to STABILIZE… how do we begin? How do we identify what we shifted through in 2009 without getting stuck there and get on target to stabilize in 2010?

Arise in the midst of your circumstances - and that will release the hand of God.

The Lord spoke this to me through some reading I have been doing… “2010 will be a year of stabilization. Things that were out of place and/or unstable will be brought back and stabilized. He will establish a stabilizing force where it is needed. A force of stability with be established in this House, in His people, in this Region and He will mark peace over confusion." (The Happy Intercessor" Beni Johnson)

He is awakening a passion in those who are willing to allow His stabilizing presence be the foundation in 2010. As we leave behind the instability of 2009, our prayer for the Lord to awaken His passion in us, leaving sin, shame, confusion, frogs, whatever is hindering Him from being the stabilizer in us behind.

We will end this year by thanking Him for what He did in us and by getting rid of the baggage looking forward to stability in HIM in 2010! He never left us in 2009, He remained the same.

Awaken the passion inside us Lord, awaken our hearts’ desire to find our stability in You, for our hearts to beat for what Your heart beats for, for our hearts to break for what breaks yours so we can be profitable for the Kingdom!

I encourage you to seek and find stability in Him in 2010. Identify areas in your life lacking order or fruit, those are the areas that need His stabilizing grace and power. As women in ministry, wives, mothers... we affect the atmosphere in our homes and churches... in 2010, may we affect the atmosphere by choosing how to respond to potential distractions and refusing to take our eyes and ears off the Father. Those things alone will bring stability to everything we touch!

Happy New Year!

Blessings!

Thriving in 2010

2009-12-30T11:59:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I had the privilege to sit down to dinner with one of
my very good friends Pastor Deanna Shrodes, her husband Larry and another cherished friend Michele and their’ children . I absolutely cherish any time I can spend with my dear friends! During our dinner we were talking and Pastor Larry asked this question, “Are you thriving or surviving?” That question has not left my heart or mind. I have pondered it over and over and to be honest it’s something that we are praying heavily about.
So today I got up and once again it was on my mind so I thought I would just share a few thoughts with you here on PPN. First off let me share with you the definitions of these two words (according to The Free Dictionary by Farlex) and then my thoughts.

Survive:
1. To remain alive or in existence.
2. To carry on despite hardships or trauma; persevere
3. To remain functional or usable:

Thrive: To make steady progress; prosper, to grow vigorously; flourish

As you read over these definitions you can automatically see the differences in the two! The differences that stand out to me are; to remain functional or usable vs. to make steady progress, to grow vigorously. There is nothing wrong with remaining functional when we are going through tough times! Let’s face it, ministry is often times, tough. Life is tough. But does God want us to just survive the tough times in minstery? NO! I truly believe He wants us to thrive!
Yes we can go through times were it takes everything we have to remain functional when we are dealing with health issues, strife in the church, financial hardships, and a variety of other issues. But are we swimming through to the other side or are we just barely treading water? You see the more you tread water, the more tired you become and instead of getting to the other side it becomes a fight to keep your head up out of the water! Eventually the survival mode can become so wearisome that you stop surviving and die. God doesn’t want that for you or for me. He truly does want us to thrive! “To grow vigorously and flourish.” Is that always easy? No, but it is very possible. I believe it’s a mind set. Your circumstances might not change but your attitude towards it can.
I don’t know about you but I do not want to live in constant survival mode in any area of my life. I want to thrive! I think there are three distinct steps that we can all put in motion to help us thrive in 2010.
1. Praise – Give God the praise He is due, for Who He is – The King of Kings and Lord of Lords! But also remember to give Him praise of thanksgiving for even the smallest blessings! I find people always forget to give praise for the small things, the things other over look!

2. Prayer – Decide to spend more time in prayer and I am not talking about in your car on the way to church or the store or work. But truly set time aside to pray specifically for the areas in your life and in your ministry you want to see thrive this coming new year!

3. Fasting –Yes!!! Fasting! It’s important! You see when you fast it’s not just about what you do physically whether fasting food or technology. Fasting is about what happens spiritually! Oh yes, fasting does affect us physically specially if you fast meals. But spiritually it opens up the flood gates of heaven. Yes I truly believe that when you fast God does open up the gates of heaven. I believe when you are fasting for the right reasons AND praying, during that time as you draw near to God He does pour into you and the situation, His power.

God wants us to thrive in every area of our life. Thriving is the steps toward the next landing place. As you thrive where you are and see His hand at work the next landing place will be even better. Remember ministry is an adventure even when it’s tough.
I mentioned above that I believe God pours His power into our lives and situations we are praying and fasting about. I have been pondering this scripture this week as well…

"I defeated my enemies because God broke through them like a mighty flood." So he named the place "The Lord Broke Through." 1 Chron. 14:11 (CEV)

In other words...when God of the breakthrough sends in His flood of power it’s not a trickle but that of a massive ocean!!
I am praying that we all will see the breakthroughs we all need this coming year so that we can THRIVE and FLOURISH where we are even in the midst of a storm or change!

What NOT to say to a [female] children's pastor!

2009-11-10T11:28:00.000-08:00

1. You’re already a mother to all the kids in the church! No, I’m not. My job is not to parent the kids; it is to partner with the adults as THEY parent their kids. Do not ask me to lay a spiritual foundation for your child in an hour and a half on Sundays. It’s just not possible. And while we’re on the topic…

2. Do you work with kids because you’re unable to have your own? What kind of insensitive question is that? No one in my current church has asked me this question, or I probably would not be fuming about it on a public blog, but my husband has been asked this before [He wouldn't tell me who had asked him, because he knew I would confront them on it, right then and there. Now he just doesn't remember...] But seriously – what if that were true? Either way, that question is entering into very personal territory…

3. This is the lady who takes care of the kids on Sundays. I guess, technically that’s true. Sort of. I mean, my leaders and I are responsible for the well-being of any children who attend kids’ church. But to phrase it that way makes it sound like we’re operating a daycare center upstairs. Perhaps you have experienced kids’ church services that are little more than glorified babysitting – but most of the children’s pastors/leaders that I know are committed to creating a worship experience for kids at their level, guiding them to meet with God, fellowship with other believers, and hear and learn the Word of God – just like their parents are doing in the adult service.

4. I’ve already done my time [in kids' church/nursery/preschool]…Reaching kids for Jesus is not a prison sentence!! I am not just saying this because I am “called” to be a children’s pastor – I may not be a full time children’s pastor for the rest of my life. I do not have any idea what God has planned for the rest of my life. But it’s not about “doing your time.” It’s about serving the needs of your church. It’s about doing your part to change the lives of the kids and families around you. My mom came to Jesus at age 11 through a Vacation Bible School at a local church. The reason she even knew about it was because she was invited by one of her neighbors, an elderly woman whose kids were long grown and out of the house, whose responsibility for the week of VBS was providing the cookies for snack time. She stepped over to the messy, dysfunctional, alcholic, extremely unhappy [on the brink of divorce!] family next door and invited two little girls to come to a program at her church. My mom became a Christian on the last day of VBS that week. So did my great-uncle [who is the same age as my mom...yeah, my grandma and great-grandma had a little Duggar thing going on, lol!!]. My grandparents and great-grandparents ended up giving their lives to Christ as well. There is a very good chance that, if that elderly woman who made the cookies had had the attitude that “I’ve put in my time” when it came to ministering to kids, I would not be sitting in my office…at a church…typing this blog and getting ready for two services on Sunday morning. “Always be ready” is for everybody!!!!

5. You’re so awesome…amazing…talented…whatever…maybe you’ll be a real pastor someday! I already am a real pastor. I have the biggest mission field, considering most people who accept Christ do so before they turn 13 years old. I have the greatest number of conversions in my services [granted, some of those are six year-olds accepting Christ for the 15th time that month, but I know that one of those times is going to be THE time. I do not discourage kids from repeatedly raising their hands for salvation, because I do not want to stand before God someday and find out that the day I told him/her to sit down because they just came forward last week was the day that it finally "clicked" for them. Yikes!]. I am not just biding my time, having “pretend church” and using children as guinea pigs to practice on until I get to do the real thing. This is as real as it gets, people.

6. Well, I guess it’s okay for you to be a pastor, since you “just” minister to kids. Or because the senior pastor is a man, and you are in submission to his authority. You see where I’m going with this…first of all, never say “just” minister to kids. Jesus made it very clear that God finds kids pretty important. Second of all, I am subject to my senior pastor because he is my employer and because I respect him as the man of God that has been placed in the church that I serve in. I do not “submit” to him in the same way that I submit to my husband. The Bible does not say “all women are to submit to all men.” It says “wives, submit to your husbands.” The only woman in our church who should be at this level of submisson to my pastor is his wife! Third of all, hold onto your hats, people – because I am preaching in “big church” on the Sunday after Christmas while my pastor is out of town. Yup. I do preach to adults from time to time.

and finally…

7. I couldn’t do it as well as you can!! My job is to “work myself out of a job.” Not that I’m going anywhere, but I believe in motivating and equipping my leaders to be able to do what I do. Because I would like to take a vacation sometime ). Since I am a human being, I get sick from time to time. This Sunday, due to extreme illnesses among my preschool teachers, I will most likely be teaching preschool [at least during the 9:00 service!], and my wonderful husband will preach to the older kids. See what I mean? No man or woman is an island. I do not want to be this awesome specimen of pastor-hood who is placed on a pedestal and people are afraid to even step in and try. I want to do what I do to the best of my ability, but that does not mean there’s no room on the pedestal for ALL who would join me in this adventure.

I invite anyone reading this to share some things NOT to say to someone in your profession…senior pastor…accountant…stay-at-home mom…whatever!!! Enjoy!

What drives them crazy about you?

2009-10-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

Think for a minute about what drives your enemies crazy about you. It will tell you a lot about your strengths. You are headed somewhere, woman of God!

David was anointed and Saul tried to kill him. Joseph was the favored son so his brothers tried to kill him. Elijah was God’s anointed prophet and Jezebel tried to scare him to death, drive him crazy and get him to commit suicide. Saul, the evil brothers, and Jezebel were threatened and insecure. They acted as many people do when they come up against movers and shakers.

Your enemies have tried to throw you in the pit, but God is turning around and blessing you with the palace...and they hate you for it. (That's okay, move right in, baby.) Your enemies have tried to get you to sit out under the broom tree like Elijah, but instead you've decided to start Broom Tree Ministries, make your pain your platform and leave your enemies in the dust!

This makes them want to scream. Sometimes, just like Saul, Jezebel, or the evil brothers -- people will attack and try to destroy you too. Amidst your success, (no matter how sweet it is) you never relish the fact that somebody is out to get you.

I know sometimes you feel like giving up or quitting because you get tired of criticism. What a yo-yo life the ministry is. I remember years ago on a specific day, somebody told me how anointed I was, how blessed they were to have me as their pastor, how incredibly caring I was. On the same exact day, I received a lambasting from somebody telling me what a terrible pastor I was, how uncaring I was, etc. I thought, "Wow, do these two people realize, they are talking about the SAME person?" If only they knew. To one congregant, you are the angel that God has sent them. Others are convinced you might just be a demon.

If you ever do something major in your life, it will cause criticism to arise. There’s an old saying, “Say nothing, do nothing…be nothing.” As one of the pastoring partners in our network, Ronnelle Thomas-Brunswick ("Flow" on the message boards), says, "if you don't make waves, you'll drown."

When you begin to really pursue God’s purpose in your life, you will be talked about – I guarantee it!

You can either drown by staying still because you’re scared to do anything because of fear of criticism, or you can step out and get even better.

When you decide to pursue the call of God upon your life, you'll give 'em something to talk about. Facing criticism or the whisper of gossip is not an "if" it's a "when." It's a given, if you're ever going to get something done. I remember years ago someone really criticized my preaching style. At first I got angry. Of the person who spoke it, I truthfully thought,"you are just so jealous, because you only wish you had the opportunity to speak to people as I do." This person was trying to be my clone, which further made me think this. Although I was convinced it was jealousy, I did began to ponder their particular criticism later on and thought, "I wonder if there's any truth to that?" I began to analyze my preaching tapes. Although I did not find their particular criticism justified, especially after taking the matter to two close pastor friends and asking them to evaluate me -- I did find a lot of other things I noticed that I needed to improve on! And, I began to diligently work on the list of things that came to my attention. I became a much more effective speaker as a result. That experience brought about something else that has been very beneficial in my life -- the habit of evaluating my messages on a regular basis. Now, I strongly evaluate every message I ever bring. I'm determined to not be static, but strive for more, always. Evaluating every message helps me in honing skills and further becoming what God wants me to be. All of that came through an unjustified criticism that turned out to be just what I needed to propel me to a new level. I now THANK GOD for that critic!

Anyone who experiences a lot of successes also experiences a lot of failures. Abraham Lincoln tried for the presidency sixteen times before he succeeded. A couple who are among my husband and my circle of friends are entrepreneurs who have several very successful businesses. For their few businesses that have brought them great success, they have probably tried fifty different ventures over their lifetime, the majority of which have failed but a few that have been extremely successful and made it possible to live the very blessed life they now live. It drives this couple’s critics absolutely crazy when pondering how successful they are. They’ve been laughed at and scoffed by many of their critics over the years when they have failed, but nevertheless, they have gotten back up and tried again.

Has someone been laughing at your attempts...or your failures?

Have you been living under a drone of criticism?

It’s not time to turn around…not time to quit…not time to retreat. It's time for you to go FULL STEAM AHEAD.

In Joshua 1:6,7, and 9, the Lord tells Joshua three times, ‘BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS.” He says the same to you today. Woman of God, He has called you to greatness. He has a divine purpose for you and it will be fulfilled despite your critics…if you continue to step out and take God at His Word, and seek His face. The gifts and calling of God are resident within you.

There was once a mule who fell into a dry well. The farmer had meant to close off the well many times but just kept forgetting. Finally he got into a fix because the mule landed down in the well. "What in the world am I going to do?" he thought. How do you get a mule out of a well? Regretfully he decided there was no way he could get the mule out, so he he had to bury the mule alive. He began to shovel dirt down into the well. Each time he threw a shovel full of dirt down in the well, the mule would shake it off and stamp on it. The farmer kept shoveling, and the mule kept on stomping. This went on repeatedly for several hours. Finally, the dirt got high enough that the mule walked right out of the well!

What is the point of this story? When somebody throws dirt on you, shake it off, step forward with determination and walk right out into your destiny. When people throw dirt your way, let it propel you right on into your next level! Thank God for your critics! Without them, you'd never get to where you need to go. Where would Elijah be without the prophets of Baal? Where would David be without Goliath? Where would Joseph be without those evil brothers of his? Learn this -- an enemy will be used by God without even knowing it to lead you straight into your destiny. An enemy will be used of God to move you to a new level when the benefits of your current situation have run out.

And it will drive them absolutely, undeniably, incredibly bonkers as they see the favor of God on your life!!!! If they knew the anointing of God that is being released in your life they wouldn't be able to sleep at night. I'm telling you, they would wish to God they had an anti-depressant cocktail when they see how God is blessing you.

Give 'em something to talk about. Then shake it off, stomp on it, and walk out into your next level. God hasn't called you to drown, or to be buried alive. He's called you for a divine purpose. Keep splashing and stomping to the next level.

I ain't got time to bleed!

2009-10-07T09:15:00.000-07:00

These are the infamous words uttered by Jesse Ventura in some action movie or another that he was in…and later, was also the title of his memoirs after becoming governor of my beloved home state [Go Twins and Vikings!!!].

I ain't got time to bleed.

I wish I did. I have had some challenging and difficult ministry experiences, and there are times when I wish I had the luxury of time to go off and lick my wounds for awhile – maybe find a monastic retreat center somewhere and seclude myself – just me and God, in a cabin out in the woods [with all the proper amenities, of course - I really only like the idea of camping, not the actuality of roughing it!].

However – bills need to get paid. Work needs to get done in order for those bills to get paid. Besides that, I am doing what I am called to do and I thoroughly enjoy doing it. So what if I'm pretty much booked through the beginning of March? I'm loving every minute of it!!!

On the down side, it is a challenge to get in quality time with Jesus or my husband at this time of year – now through the beginning of March is “crazy-busy time” for me, with the Mpact sleepover/kids' ministry room remodel/Christmas play/holiday season/winter camp/Kidz Blazt/annual business meeting/national children’s pastors’ conference. Wow. Say that five times fast!

Still, I need to remember that JESUS is my first love. My husband is the love of my life. We make time for the things that mean the most to us, and I cannot afford to blow either of them off for the sake of the ministry. I am tired of reading about ministry couples who were so focused on all the “stuff” they were doing, that they drifted apart. I am tired of hearing about pastors who got so burned out on working for God, that they forgot ABOUT God and crashed and burned. I am determined not to be either of those people.

There is no balance; only order. Jeff Vanvonderen explains it well in his book Tired of Trying to Measure Up. I’ll see if I can explain it clearly without his nifty diagrams…Ideally:

*God is always at the center.
*Your relationships with each other should be the next “ring” in the circle.
*Everything else is free to, and does, shift around.

FOR EXAMPLE:

In the end of November/beginning of December, our lives pretty much center around the Christmas play. Our meals are determined by how quickly they can be prepared and consumed [and we allow for a certain amount of fast-food runs, trying our best to make healthy choices!]. Our workdays are structured around what needs to get done for the set, etc. Plans are made based on whether or not we have accomplished certain tasks. Once we have children, they will get to be part of this grand adventure as well [lucky kids!]…

On the opposite end of the spectrum…last April when we got the call that my grandfather had passed away, that was what mattered. Work was of little importance. We called our bosses that night and told them which days we would be gone that week. My husband [awesome man that he is!] saw that I was flustered and in shock, and he contacted all of our leaders and made sure Sunday morning was covered. For that long weekend, our lives centered around family and nothing else.

Vanvonderen’s point was that as long as families keep God as the absolute center, and maintain excellent relationships with each other, everything else can shift around based on the situation. And if your relationships with God and each other are where they need to be, the whole family rallies around each other to accomplish what needs to be done – and this is perfectly healthy.

God gives us the grace to accomplish everything that He has called us to do, and he provides us with the support we need to get it done. We can rest in this, and our lives can be peaceful and Christ-centered, even when we "ain't got time to bleed."

The two are not the same

2009-10-05T08:25:00.000-07:00

I see this confusion quite frequently in the body of Christ.

The man or woman of God has somehow accepted condemnation as Holy Spirit’s conviction and nothing could be further from God’s truth.

Jesus said He didn’t come into the world to condemn it but to save it. John 3:17-18. Jesus even told the woman who was caught in the act of adultery that He would not condemn her and to go and sin no more. Then the Apostle Paul tells us, there is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. (Romans 8:1)

Scripture details one of the functions of Holy Spirit as the one who convicts the world of sin. John 16:7-9

What is the difference you ask?

Conviction says this is where you are wrong; this is where you erred. Condemnation pronounces judgment with no way to make it right.

When I counsel abused women, condemnation is one of the biggest enemies to their deliverance.

Condemnation says:

You are such a failure
You blew it…again
You are weak; you’ll never be able to. . .
You better not leave or you’ll go to hell
If you did this better, things would be better
You will fail without him
See, if you had done this (or not done that) then he would not have…

Condemnation is a hard taskmaster and is successful most times in foiling attempts to unseat it from its place of power within the believer.

Condemnation never travels alone either; fear always rides shotgun.

Between condemnation’s lies, and fear’s paralyzing ability, deliverance is often a lengthy process.
So how does one unseat condemnation? How does one release fear’s grip?

It starts with prayer and then replacing condemnation with God’s word. I teach that you have to watch what you tell yourself about yourself. Your thinking must line up with God has already spoken. God’s word will expose any lie. That is why is so important when under condemnation’s grip that you rehearse and stand on the Word of God.

An inward deliverance occurs when you and God agree with His Word; it is a freeing of the mind and spirit. From that point, you are able to hear Him clearly and walk out His plan for your life.
Condemnation and conviction are not the same.

Conviction if heeded brings about change; condemnation only wants to imprison you.

Today you can be free from condemnation.

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.

Believe it.

Meet Tara D. Sloan, PPN Writer & Board Member

2009-09-30T22:38:00.000-07:00

Deanna and I met online, (a hilarious, unbelievable story that is truly book worthy) almost 11 years ago. I was desperately looking for someone who shared my heart and passion for women in ministry and she was the only one I found who was talking about it and sounded like she had been living in my head for years! We became fast friends and prayer partners. I cannot tell you the number of times we have called on each other for prayer and/or a shoulder to cry on or someone to rejoice with!

Having a rich heritage in ministry, I accepted the call of God and followed in the footsteps of my father, uncles, and several male cousins by becoming an ordained, licensed minister, the first woman in my family. Upon completion of my formal education at Destiny Bible College I became an ordained, licensed minister.

Needless to say I know ministry like the back of my hand. Ministry has always been a way of life for me, for my family. My husband Craig of 18 years (also an ordained, licensed minister) and I co-pastor Christ Central in Dallas, Georgia. Our family is made up of the two of us and our five beautiful, talented, and Jesus-loving daughters who I call "my belles."

Craig and I have sharpened gifts for teaching and preaching, we know how vitally important it is to impart the rhema word of God to this generation without compromise. We also function in the ascension gifts with a strong emphasis on the prophetic.However, more than anything, we believe God appointed destiny to every person who walks this earth and we consider it a privilege to speak to it and pull it out of people!

I am a firm believer that everyone needs someone in their corner speaking the Word of the Lord over their lives reminding them who they are and where they are going! I have also been known to yank off my high heels and earrings and storm heaven and earth for those I lovingly refer to as my "sistas."

Some of my hobbies and favs include: writing, reading, cooking, preaching and teaching, creating, shopping and making people laugh. I have been published as a writer and called upon from time to time to speak at women's ministries, conferences and church services. Currently I am working on a book to add to my current completed writings.

I count it an honor to be a part of this network and board. I have a heart for women in ministry of all kinds and consider ministry a family call and privilege.

Blessings!

You're Not Alone

2009-09-20T13:54:00.000-07:00

I came across Pastoring Partners as a new associate pastor's wife. I spent hours on the internet looking for resources, articles...anything to speak to me where I was. I was looking for validation, encouragement and mentoring. The ladies of this ministry became that to me. They celebrated the successes and encouraged me during the struggles. The Holy Spirit knows no time or distance and through the power of technology I knew I had a safe place to vent my frustrations and expose my fears and receive His comfort through the words of Pastor Deanna and this group of women. They offered insight to the spiritual and practical sides of ministry and family.
Now, as a senior pastors wife, I find so much of what I read and learned from them was as much for now as it was then. My sphere of influence has grown and responsibility increased, and so much of what these ladies have spoken to me has influenced and inspired me to be to step up to plate and be all I can be for God's kingdom. While I have not had the pleasure of meeting Deanna face to face (yet!) as so many others have, I have heard her heart in the words she writes and I know her in the Lord. Her passion for ministry and her heart for the duaghters of God is contagious...I am so thrilled to be a part of continuing the message of pastoring partners...partnering with your husband in ministry is worth it and you are not doing this alone.

What a Great Place! PPN Writer, Pastor Lisa

2009-09-18T06:35:00.001-07:00

Pastoring Partners Network was a God-send!

My husband and I had just planted a ministry and I had so many questions and was so unsure of many things.

PPN was my safe place. I found beautiful women of God who had experienced the very thing I was encountering. These women loved me, prayed me through tough situations and gave wonderful Godly counsel. I was sincerely amazed. No condemnation, no judging, just women of God who were truly concerned about what God was doing in my life.

I am forever grateful for this group!

It's been four years now and God has proven Himself faithful!

I've made wonderful friends and love them dearly!

So when Pastor Deanna asked me to write for the PPN blog, it was an automatic yes! I think it's so important for women to know that they are not alone in what they experience. We've all been there and have come out victoriously! And can I just say that Pastor Deanna is one of the most amazing women I have ever had the chance to encounter? Wow!

Alright, so a few facts about me. I'm the wife to the most wonderful man on the planet, Mr. Elgin Alexander; we've been married twenty years and soon to celebrate another. I'm mom to daughter Lindsey and son Evan, and well there's Mac the beagle too. I write for a few other blogs and even wrote a book on marriage and ministry. Elgin and I pastor the best church in the Houston area, Zion Tabernacle Christian Church! I always say that if I weren't the pastor, I'd be a member! I absolutely love what God does in the place! My love affair with the Lord Jesus only gets better with time.

I'm so glad God led me to this place and now you're here too!

So take a deep breath woman of God, you just found your safe place.

I know you will be blessed.

Much love,

Changing the Atmosphere

2009-09-16T11:36:00.000-07:00

There is something about being in the presence of God that I believe we all long for daily,but are we actually taking the time to do just that? Oh I am sure you are busy with the variety of roles you play in your life; Pastor, PW, SS teacher, Women’s Ministries Director, Children’s Pastor, Bible Study leader, wife, mom, friend, employee…. You get the picture. We all play different roles and all are important. But what good are we in those roles if we are empty,dry or exhausted? The only source we can go to is our Lord!
Right now I am in charge of 4 different aspects of our ministry. I do not share that to be prideful but to show you I understand the variety of roles we play. Sometimes we get so busy in the ministry that we forget to spend time with the One person we are doing the ministry for…Our Lord! Every other week we have our Women’s Bible Study of which I lead. Well this past week while preparing for our study I came across a passage that I honestly can say I do not remember reading. Oh I know I have read it, I have read the Bible from cover to cover but this time it leaped off the page. Right now in our women’s group we have been studying different women of the Bible, not just the famous ones like Ruth or Esther or even Mary but women like Tamar and Anna.
This week the Lord led me to study more about Anna. She is only spoken about in a few short verses but her life is one that I believe we as women involved in ministry need to take a deeper look at. We find her story in Luke 2:36-38:

"The prophet Anna was also there in the temple. She was the daughter of Phanuel from the tribe of Asher, and she was very old. In her youth she had been married for seven years, but her husband died. And now she was eighty-four years old. Night and day she served God in the temple by praying and often going without eating. At that time Anna came in and praised God. She spoke about the child Jesus to
everyone who hoped for Jerusalem to be set free.” (CEV)
This event takes place when Jesus was presented as a baby to the Lord as the Law of Moses commanded (Luke 2:22-23). There is a lot that I could share here about Anna and her importance in what took place that day but what I want to really focus on is in verse 37 -38. Anna dedicated her life to pray and fasting. Yes she lived at the temple (of which I am sure some of us feel we do now!) and yet she devoted herself day and night to praying and fasting. She was so filled with the presence of God that when Jesus, was brought to the temple by Mary and Joseph she was
sensitive to the Spirit of God and acknowledged that this baby was the Messiah they had been waiting for!
Did you catch that? She was so sensitive to the Spirit that she knew that she was in the presence of the Messiah. She heard it, felt it, knew it, so much so that she “praised God” because she had seen the Messiah, all because she had been spending time with the Lord in prayer and fasting.
I want that! I want to be so sensitive that when the Spirit of God speaks or reveals Himself to me at any time not just at church that I distinguish it immediately! I want to be so in tuned to him that I am able to recognize His voice whether it be in a mighty wind or a still small voice. I believe we are living in perilous times and it is so evident that Lord’s return is much sooner than we can fathom. I also believe that He is calling each of us to spend more and more time with Him so that when He speaks we respond.
Let’s get real for a minute, we all know we are suppose to go to our quiet place and spend time with our Lord, but how many of us do it regularly? How many of us actually set a time to do it and follow through? More importantly, how many of us are fasting and I mean a true fast … not just TV or caffeine or sweets, a true full fast? It’s not easy, it really isn’t but I think it is more than time to get serious about our walk with the Lord. When you set time apart for fasting and prayer, yes they have to go hand in hand because otherwise the fast is nothing but a diet. Let’s be honest, a diet is not very empowering and truly does not draw you closer to God. Fasting must be accompanied with prayer if you truly mean to reach the heart of God. When you take this practice seriously you will see God and He will speak to you about situations you are praying about and more importantly will draw you closer to Him.
When we are able to recognize the presence of God in our services the whole atmosphere changes and people get saved, lives get changed and miracles happen. I don’t know about you but yesterday’s miracles aren't good enough. I want more, I want to see more lives changed and I want it to start with me. I want it to start with you! Let us draw near to our Lord! Let us become Anna’s that recognize when we have been in the presence of the Messiah!

Children's Pastor, reporting for duty

2009-09-07T18:47:00.001-07:00

It is amazing to me in this day and age that I can get to know such a fantastic group of people, even to the point of calling them friends, and never have met any of them in person!

I first discovered the Pastoring Partners Network in 2004 during a difficult time in ministry - I was sitting at my computer, and I Googled, "female pastors." I'm sure it was God who led me to do this, because the issues I was dealing with had nothing to do with the fact that I am a female in ministry. I came upon the message board, typed up a dissertation that detailed what was going on, and within 24 hours, was greeted with several responses of advice, encouragement, and just plain understanding.

This place has been a lifeline for me, and I am thrilled to be part of the latest venture...

As the title of this post implies, I am a children's pastor. I am married, and together we are the proud "parents" of a fuzzy 70-pound dog [a chow/lab mix]. We hope to give her some human siblings soon. I make my home in the midwestern United States, and I honestly love my life.

As far as my ministry goes, I believe that kids are not the church of tomorrow - they are the church of TODAY! I believe in kids IN ministry, and work with a team of 3rd-5th graders to teach them puppetry, leading worship, and countless other skills that they can use to serve in the church. I work in a medium-sized Assemblies of God church for a fantastic co-senior pastoring team.

It goes without saying that I am in favor of women stepping out in their gifts and callings and not allowing gender to get in the way of what God is telling them to do. Being a female in ministry and being a staffer does have its challenges, but it is the first thing I've done in my life that really "fits."

I am first and foremost passionate about Jesus, then my family [and I believe that my husband and I became a family the day we married!], then ministry. Besides that, my college degree is in theatre and English, and I am very passionate about both. I enjoy trying out new recipes, watching t.v. on DVD [no commercials!], and crocheting while I watch t.v., which is how I justify my habit! To me, life is to be lived and not stressed over, which is a hard lesson that has taken me 33 years to learn.

I am excited to be part of a group of passionate and talented women, and excited to write more and to read what they write as well! Check back often...we're here for you!!

Introducing Melissa Kelly, PPN Writer & Board Member

2009-09-07T08:50:00.000-07:00

I’d like to introduce myself. I am first and foremost a wife, mother, daughter and friend. My husband, Sean and I pastor a wonderful A/G church in southern Illinois, where I am the pastor over the children’s and youth ministries as well as the women’s ministry. I was called into ministry at the age of 8 during a summer Christian camp. I have done just about everything in the church, filling in when needed in every area of the church. I have two great passions when it comes to ministry, one is too see women grow in Christ and realize that God can use them and wants to use them to reach the lost and bring Him glory. The other passion is reaching the children and youth of this generation. They are the future of the church! The children and youth will one day be the pastors, deacons, music leaders, children’s pastor, Sunday school teachers, greeters and ushers. I love to write, preach, teach and serve where ever God needs me to reach just one soul. My husband (the love of my life) and I have been married for 12 years and have 4 beautiful children all under the age of 10.

I came to know Deanna through one of my dearest friends, Michele. There was a time when I felt completely alone in the ministry. I was really struggling and had no one to talk to that understood the pressures and stress as well as the joy and happiness of being a pastor's wife. Michele told me about Deanna's blog and about Pastoring Partners Network. I was so excited! This Network of women became a life line to me. I can post my frustrations, prayer requests and questions and never feel ashamed or embarrassed about what I am going through and know that these women genuinely love and support me. The best part is you can do it all in private undercover names or you can just be yourself. The encouragement and support is invaluable. Knowing there were other women in the ministry dealing with the same things meant the world to me at that time and now! Through the Network I was able to meet Jessica, Tara, Leanne and others. I first got to know Deanna through her daily writings. Then she and Michele began talking about the Unstoppable Conference and I knew I had to go.

Let me tell you something, Deanna pours her life and soul into everything she does! The Unstoppable Conference was OUT OF THIS WORLD! My life was changed. The worship was off the chart, the speakers were right to the point and relevant to exactly what I was dealing with and the friendships that were created that weekend are cherished! Meeting Deanna, Tara and Jessica was fantastic and we keep in contact almost daily. Let me tell you these women are Godly women who truly care about me and are part of Pastoring Partners Network. I wrote much more about that weekend on my personal blog, The Diaperheads here, here and here. Words, no matter how many can explain what God did in my life through this conference or through this wonderful network of women. My hopes and prayers are that you will get connected with this group of women and will grow in the Lord!

Our Mission

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The Pastoring Partners Network blog is updated by our team of writers on a regular basis with articles and podcasts that we desire to share as an encouragement to you. However, it has always been our desire for this ministry to be an exchange of ideas from women worldwide.

We want to hear from you but more than anything we want you to connect with each other. Since this ministry started, thousands of women have taken advantage of the FREE resources offered by PPN, but our desire is that you'd do more than take a peek at our resources. Our prayer for you is connection with others who are also on this journey.

The goal is for Pastoring Partners Network to be a gathering place for women in ministry...a place for encouragement, support, and to sharpen one another with our ideas and wisdom.

More than anything, we encourage you to register on the message boards and make a connection. To go there right now, click here. Please note that you must be a registered user to post on the message boards, although anyone can read them. All information that you use to register is completely confidential. Please know that by signing up you will not be receiving a bunch of junk mail, or unwanted mailings. We simply want this to be a "safe place" on the web for women in ministry to meet. Thus, the reason for having only registered users.

Our entire team at PPN looks forward to meeting you here online, by e-mail, the message board or maybe even in person at the Unstoppable Conference!

Unstoppable 2008 Highlights

2009-08-18T13:00:00.000-07:00

There are two reviews here on the PPN blog about the 2008 Unstoppable Conference ~ one from Tara Sloan and one from Jessica Smith. For my personal reflections post, go here...

Unstoppable 2008 Re-Cap by Jessica Smith

2009-08-18T12:55:00.000-07:00

Jessica Smith and her husband are in pastoral ministry in Oklahoma City, OK

Deanna,

Wow, what can I say about Unstoppable? Where are the words at? Well, when I was flying out I was so excited. I was actually going to meet with my friends of over a year, of whom have poured so much into me, yet never really knew it. I was more so happy to be able to meet you and Tara face to face. Out of everyone from the Pastoring Partners Network, you two had always stuck out the most. The very things that I desire to do, be, and learn are things that you have done, are doing and are planning to do.

It is refreshing to be in friendships with those who share the same heartbeat for ministry, life, and covenant, as you and Tara do. Meeting Tara was awesome. Like coming home to pie and ice-cream after a long day at work. We went outside the airport where our ride was waiting for us. She was SOOOO sweet. She gave us roses and welcomed us to Tampa. I love her accent, I do believe she told us she was from Cuba?

We got to the hotel, and I walked in stoked to be there. Wow! I was welcomed with hugs, encouragement, and a bag full of goodies. I felt like a celebrity! I saw you and I felt like I was meeting a celebrity..not because of your leadership or position, but because I admire you so much (in a good way!). Just to let you know too, you give the best hugs ever! Not the, "oh not another person to hug hug" or the "my goodness I have to hug her because she is here", but the "I am happy you are here --welcome -- you are family hug" Not everyone hugs like that, but you do! The only other people I know who hug like that are my husband, Tara, Bishop Miller and Pastor Purifoy (my pastor). I sat at a table with some other women who have now become even better friends to me. Carrie, Melissa, Jessica L. and others. Truly a God thing in the biggest of ways.

Dinner was fantastic and chatting with everyone was even better! Service that night was exactly what I needed to hear. It is refreshing to know that I am not the only one wading through something that makes you want to give up. As you stated, your enemy is used to promote you! Amen!

After Friday morning I woke up revived, and ready to roll. I went to the Dr.'s session on depression, and it was amazing the things I learned, it is going to be able to help me when my husband has his moments of pain. Tara's session was wonderful as well. How not to lose my mind... I am glad that someone had enough guts to be honest and share. Afterward, I went to go eat lunch at Ruby Tuesdays with Carrie, Jessica Lewis and another lady she is from the other side of FL. Anyway, we ate lunch together and took a ton of pictures! We then went to Ross and bought a towel, drove over to Target and got chocolate and baby wipes. We were all cracking up the whole time trying to figure our way to Clearwater beach. It was sooo funny! We made it there, parked and soaked out feet in the water for around 20 minutes. Then as the tide came splashing in, these clear jelly like looking things were banging against our feet. We thought they were either Double D breast implants, or jelly fish. We were wrong on both accounts. Either way, I was out of the water in no time flat. I do not like things that I do not know about to be touching my feet, even more so if it might sting! I really had no desire for anyone to have to urinate on my feet! We got back in the car, wiped our feet off and got stuck in traffic. After two u-turns, we were finally on the correct way back to the hotel. (I really do not remember the hotel being in Toronto! )

Arriving back at the hotel, we all had bonded...we were at the same table and worship was terrific. The presence of God was all over the place, and I could really see the anointing on you and Tara. Service was great and I agree, Tara broke it down....

After service Friday night was one of the most special times for me. This may sound silly, but I had really needed a meal like this my whole life! Jesus always was eating with the people that He ministered to. I was refreshed, at ease, ministered to, and had my heart opened those three hours! I had always desired something like that moment, and the Lord really answered some prayers during that time. By the time we finished eating and talking, Carrie, Melissa and I did not want to stop. So we went to my room and chatted for an hour or so, sharing more stories. We were laughing SOO hard...and we got a phone call from "the front desk" saying. "I am sorry, but we got a complaint that you are being too loud. Can you please turn it down a notch?" Okay...weird. Then about 5 minutes later..knock, knock...."This is the clerk from the front desk" Uh huh. I look out the peep hole and see it is being blocked. I was about to either be murdered, ambushed, or made fun of..I opened the door and it was Jessica Lewis and Sheryl laughing their heads off at us...they joined us for another hour or so. We bonded some more.

It was late, we were about to fall off the bed in tears and tiredness, but we each went to bed around 2:30 or 3ish.Saturday morning was bittersweet for me and went way too quickly. I ate breakfast with my new buddies, headed into the service, and felt God hit me like a ton of bricks. This was His heart for every woman! This network, this ministry, covenant relationships! The two of you sharing your story, faith, and womanly perspective on covenant was mind blowing. Bishop Miller and Kathy share the same heart for covenant too. Yet those people have always been the men who reached out to my husband and I, not the women. Greg had several men in his life to share his steps with, but I did not. I started praying for covenant relationships with women in ministry last year before I even came upon your website. Now there is a living example of two women in covenant relationship....

1. It is possible

2. There is an example.

3. Look for God's connections and not make it happen on your own. Thank you for being that living, possible example!!

Ending in prayer, I could not stop crying. The whole thing had opened up my heart to be honest, open, and willing to trust again. I quickly said goodbye to everyone, to you and Tara, because Sue had to pick up her boys for music lessons. Sue and I became quick friends. We ate at Sonic, talked for few hours, then she took me to this AMAZING Japanese steak house to eat...yummmm. We stayed up late laughing our heads off at You Tube videos and funny stories. You should ask her how her son was able to get the hamster out of the truck! LOL

As I got up at 3:30am to get ready to go, my heart broke...I did not want to leave..not yet. But I had to.I was dropped off after several laughs and hugs. On the plane to Atlanta all I could do was try not to cry. I was leaving my new family!Switching planes in Atlanta, I had the most amazing God connection!! That is another long e-mail. Let me tell you several things:

1. Thank you for your effort, time, heart, tears, and energy that you put into this conference.

2. Thank you for following through with the conference despite how your world is crashing around you.

3. Thank you for being a godly example of covenant relationship.

4. Thank you for pouring yourself into me and other women across this country.

5. Your impact goes further than you know.

6. This is just the early years for this baby...it is going to grow into something bigger than you, your church, your denomination, your vision, and region.

7. The bigger the heart, the bigger the vision, the bigger the vision, the bigger the impact, the bigger the impact, the bigger of growth and harvest.

I love you and thank you for all you have done and continue to do! I now have a new word for you..." A God connection" is now Godnecction!

In His Love,
Jessica

Unstoppable 2008 Recap: Pastor Tara Sloan

2009-08-18T12:45:00.000-07:00

Tara Sloan and her husband Craig Sloan are the lead pastors of Christ Central Church in Dallas, GA.

I am way overdue for my Unstoppable recap. Blogging about it is bittersweet. The event was marvelous, however, it is over for this year. *Sigh* My flight in from Chicago was easy and uneventful. No problems at security (not that I am a risk or anything!), no screaming babies, and good weather.

Upon my arrival, Deanna had arranged for a woman from her church to pick Jessica Smith (Oklahoma) and me up. Her name was Celia (I hope I spelled it right!) and she greeted us with roses. It was such a sweet gesture! It was the first time Jessica and I had met face to face too. She attends my Bishop's church in Oklahoma City. We met online through the Pastoring Partners Network. We arrived at the hotel greeted by Cathy and Lisa, Deanna's right and left arms.... as well as Deanna herself! Deanna and I squealed as we hugged each other tightly! Although we "talk" daily by phone, email or blogpost, at this point we really only see each other once a year. Still, you'd think we were joined at the hip because we never miss a beat! Goodness I miss her... :(

We holed up in our gorgeous suite for about three hours and had some good old face to face girltalk! Then we prayed together and discussed the upcoming evening. Dinner was delicious and so nice. The staff was gracious and very friendly. Jenn Lee and the worship team did a bang up job leading us into the presence of God. Sandy Phinazee led a corporate prayer before Deanna came to minister. Sandy knows how to pull down heaven! Deanna spoke on "A Series of Unfortunate Events," based on the book of Ezekiel, aka "Wrecks." If anyone is qualified to minister on that topic, it is Deanna. Not that she IS a wreck... it is that she has learned how to "keep on ticking" even after taking a licking! And it doesn't stop there! She "shows up" in spite of every events, circumstance and situation that would knock 99 out of 100 people out for the count! The anointing of God was all over her that night! There were women who received a touch from God, something they were desperate for. We had a tremendous time at the workshops on Friday morning. Three hours of power packed, practical information followed by a great lunch and scrumptious fellowship with Deanna, Jenn Lee and Sandy Phinazee. How I wish for another day like that! I miss my girls from Unstoppable! I didn't mention yet that I also met for the first time (in person), Melissa Kelly and Carrie Ball. My mother and her friend Janet joined us as well which was such a special treat! I also met Jessica Lewis and caught up with my friend, Pastor Judi from Palmetto Assembly! We met last year and I felt a more defined connection with her. Craig and I are looking forward to heading to Palmetto and spending some time with Judi and her husband Mark. There were many others that I caught up with and met for the first time. The networking and connecting at this event was magnetic. I have never been to an event with such successful networking and connecting. It was heavenly!

On Friday evening, after a great time of worship, I was honored to bring the Word. My message was entitled, "The Breaking Point." The anointing was strong in that place. The Lord ministered mightily and prophetically. The presence of God was rich and so sweet. We all just stepped right into the flow. We stayed up WAY too late on Friday night... getting all giddy and silly as we nestled into our new relationships with each other. I cannot explain the comradarie.

On Saturday we began with a panel discussion which offered both practical and spiritual insight. Following the panel, Deanna and I tag teamed about covenant relationships where we shared our story and offered pratical and spiritual wisdom concerning building a covenant realtionship. Martina McBride's video, "Anyway" was played and left few dry eyes in the room. After that we took communion together and cosed in prayer.

My heart was and remains SO full. I cried on the way home. Deanna kept a piece of my heart with her. And all day Sunday I was a little mopey because I missed Deanna terribly and really wanted to spend more time with her, Sandy, Jenn, Jessica, Judi, and all of my other sistas!

Unstoppable 2008 topped even last year which was very difficult to do since it was also such an incredible success. The difference was this year held a "relational theme" and a comradarie that built a sisterhood of sorts. I feel as if I made lifetime divine connections! And THAT is why my heart is a little sad... I miss Deanna terribly and I wish I had another week with my new sistas!I can't wait till next time but until then, we'll all be burning up the keyboards on our computers! If you didn't make it this year, make plans NOW to attend next time... you DO NOT want to miss out on this tremendous opportunity!!!

Unstoppable 2007 Highlights

2009-08-18T12:32:00.000-07:00

The Unstoppable Conference 2007 was unbelievable! Mere words can't really describe it, but I'm going to try my best anyway, as well as share some photos here with you.

First of all, the accomodations at the Hilton Inn Garden North were just fabulous...the rooms, the pool, jacuzzi, our meeting room, the food, EVERYTHING. Top quality. Not ONE COMPLAINT from any of our attendees about it, and that, for this many women present was a miracle!!! (Any of you who have ever led a retreat or conference know this!) We had nothing but rave reviews on the accomodations, the meetings and everything concerning the weekend.

This first year of Unstoppable was absolutely unforgettable. Many said they believe this conference has the potential to be THE absolute foremost conference for women in ministry, not only in Florida but nationwide. I believe it!

Yes, we had fabulous accomodations and amenties but the main thing was THE POWER OF GOD that flowed in the place over the weekend. REFRESHING AND RENEWING don't even begin to describe it. Pastor Jennifer Lee and her worship team from Southeastern University brought us to strongly into the presence of God we hardly wanted to stop to hear God's Word but we knew it was essential that we have that balance of worship/Word. After the Word of God was preached, however, we had worship and altar time that seemed to go on forever and nobody wanted to leave.

As promised, we had workshops about co-pastoring, mastering the mix of ministry and family, the biblical basis for women in pastoral leadership, breaking intimidation, staff pastoring and armor bearing, and conflict in the church. Many ladies said, "this gave me the tools I needed...the empowerment to go forward in boldness and do what God has called me to do..." The workshops were an incredible boost that so many needed.

The conference exceeded all of our expectations. The team we had for last year’s conference was dynamic and this coming year's will be equally so. Make your plans now to come to Tampa in September of 2008. You will not be sorry, I promise. Just ask anyone who was there! (If you want to ask, just go to our message boards and post.) I encourage you to start making your plans now to come and talk to a few friends about coming and sharing conference costs (hotel rooms). Some women brought their entire staff and experienced the blessing together. Others joined together with a pastor’s wives or women in ministry in their area to share costs. New friends were made! Old friendships were strengthened! Two pastors wives received an incredible emotional healing - one who had just had a nervous breakdown and one of the verge of one - were dramatically changed through the power of God that flowed at this conference.

We hope to see you at the next UNSTOPPABLE!

Some photos from the Unstoppable Conference

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What do we believe?

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We believe the Bible is the inspired word of God, is reliable, and is the final authority for faith and practice.

We believe in the unity and trinity of God, eternally existing as three equal persons.

We believe that eternal salvation and restored relationships are possible through faith in Jesus Christ who died for us, rose from the dead, and is coming again. This salvation is offered to all people.

We believe in the work of the Holy Spirit in the life of believers.

We believe that all gifts and callings are given by the Spirit of God without regard to race or gender. We believe in that all believers stand equally before God and that biblical equality has a foundation simply through the proper interpretation of God’s Word.

We believe that men and women are to diligently and equally develop and use their God-given gifts for the good of the home, church, and society.

Who are we? A note from our founder...

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Pastoring Partners Network has been serving as an encouragement to women in ministry all over the world since 1998. The goal of this ministry is to provide a place of information, validation, affirmation and support to women in ministry, particularly those who are co-pastoring or serving as staff pastors.

I personally co-pastor alongside my husband and searched for the first 20 years of our ministry for ANY information that would be helpful to me in this calling I fulfill. For most of the years there was virtually none and I learned by the hard knocks of experience. I searched high and low for information about co-pastoring or serving as a woman pastor and kept waiting for somebody else to write a book on it or start a ministry. Along the journey of asking others I felt were "qualified" to do a ministry such as this, many of those people said, "are you sure you're not meant to do this?" Confirmation after confirmation came that let me know it was God's desire for me to provide for others what I was so desperately searching for. The rest is history and it's been an amazing 12 year journey of connecting with others!

Being a woman in ministry can be extremely isolating. You can find several books, magazines and resources for pastor's wives and ministry families as a whole. However, the articles that I read and tapes that I listen to (and most conferences that I go to) are very "general" and directed to a broad ministry audience. Most material I get my hands on regarding pastor’s wives is more for those in a behind the scenes role than those in major leadership roles. And, some denominations do not have resources for women in ministry simply because they don't believe in such. So, as we begin to walk in this calling, we often feel like we are in a wilderness as far as information, validation and support. That is why I felt a call to start this ministry, to particularly encourage those who are stepping out into church leadership, or have been there for a while and need a resource just like I do.

Pastoring Partners Network reaches out and includes women in ministry from all backgrounds and denominations, and of course those who may not be with any particular fellowship. Our leadership team here at PPN is represented by several different denominations as well as independent fellowships. But just to share with you about my background personally, I happen to be part of a denomination that welcomes women in ministry. I am credentialed with the Assemblies of God. Women in leadership have been a big part of our fellowship from the very beginning. Many served as senior pastors, in fact… in the early days of the Assemblies, one in four credential holders was a woman. Six out of twelve people who served on the first credentialing board of the Assemblies of God were women. In the beginnings of our fellowship, women also planted churches with their husbands, and the partnership model of ministry was in full bloom. In many cases, there was no "label" or "title" to it, but believe me, that's exactly what these couples functioned as...co-pastors.

Over the years, this became less popular. After World II, everything changed. When the men went to war, this necessitated women taking jobs outside the home. This changed American life, and also church life as we know it. Women's choices increased (which was a good thing) however many women chose to direct their energies outside of the church. There are many other reasons that this whole change came about. For a long time we did not see the co-pastoring model as much, but since the 1940’s the winds of change are blowing in a different direction again. Not just in the fellowship I serve in, but in all different groups, we see that women are coming to the forefront in ministry. Women are planting churches. Churches are also being started all over the country by husband/wife teams and they are flourishing.

There are many high profile role models in ministry that we can find… thousands are all over Christian television and magazines. But what about the local church? How about mentors that you can actually pick up the phone and "talk to"? Who can you talk to, up close and personal? This is where we find the biggest lack of resource. One reason the Pastoring Partners Network exists is to provide resources for women who are on this journey as well as a network of support.

There are women who feel the call to be a woman pastor, co-pastor or staff pastor, or pastor's wife who is very involved in ministry leadership. They long to venture out but, they sense resistance. The resistance can be from many sources. Some women express that their husband is afraid of this, or not ready for it. Since I have started doing this ministry, there have been countless women who have e-mailed or called me and said, "I'm ready, but my husband isn't! This is just too different for him. I feel called, but I don't feel I can act on the call." Please know that this is really common. If your husband does not see this partnership model with many of his peers, or it does not seem to be supported by those in ministry who surround him, it can be difficult for him to go against the flow so to speak. It takes time, and women who are in the waiting room needencouragement and prayer. PPN is here to provide it.

Many also sense resistance from other people, or perhaps even resistance from within! Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy… we talk ourselves into thinking we can't do it. I know of many women whose husband or church is just waiting for them to rise to their call, however their own fear prevents them from doing so. Again, the goal of this site is to encourage you to stir up the gifts within you, encourage you, and validate your call.

I didn't begin Pastoring Partners Network because I believed I had all the answers. I don't. I am merely a fellow traveler on this ministry journey. But I desire to encourage and affirm you in your calling. Our desire as a team at PPN is to link arms with you, and invest in you. We have a leadership team, of board members, writers and women on our message boards who stand ready to encourage you.

Since starting this network twelve years ago, we have also founded the Unstoppable Conference. At the conference, women can network and be encouraged by those they have met here on the PPN site. We also have a great time of worship, teaching, powerful prayer times, and fellowship together. This is a bi-annual conference that many women describe as the catalyst that launched them into full time partnership ministry for the first time, or renewed their call.

When I find a woman who is very involved in ministry, I notice that we are like instant magnets, drawn to one another. We speak the same language. We like to "talk shop" and find great encouragement and fulfillment in this. I have connected with lots of women all over the world who have been a part of Pastoring Partners Network since the beginning, and we have forged relationships that will last a lifetime. We have all learned so much from each other.

One of the main goals of this ministry is to serve as a “safe place” for women in ministry. We all have the Lord but sometimes, you just need a sister to come alongside you and lift you up. It is also my deep desire to have this site be a place of encouragement for women who are not serving in pastoral leadership at this time, but desire to be. Perhaps you have not stepped out into this role, yet you are called. We're here to help you. Just register on the message board and you'll have instant help from our resident partners...those who are in the trenches and will be glad to help you however they can.

Please contact me here with any comments, questions or suggestions. I would love to hear from you. We are not in competition! We are on the same team. Let's make a connection!

Much love,